Page 2 | Christmas now unaffordable

Franklyannoyed · 03/12/2025 17:17

ElsaPeretti · 03/12/2025 16:33

“all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury”

You must have missed all the news reports about people ‘on benefits’ who have died of starvation or suicide in recent years. The statistics about people who have been sanctioned or wrongly declared for for work, who died shortly afterwards. The astronomical rise in the need for food banks (and baby banks, hygiene banks, uniform banks, fuel banks, warm hubs, pop up shelters for rough sleepers in cold weather…)

It’s interesting how everyone who complains that other people are seemingly ‘getting a free council house’ and ‘living the high life on benefits’ don’t just jack their jobs in and do it themselves. It’s almost like they know it’s not actually the easy, lazy, money-for-nothing option they demonise it to be.

Far more people are cheating the system through tax evasion/avoidance and cash in hand undeclared income - but because those lifestyles are seen as aspirational or rebellious, it’s not as trendy to complain about that 🙃

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I’m not sure citing suicide rates for people who had their benefits removed, or the rise in food banks, often used by the employed, really supports the argument.

ElsaPeretti · 03/12/2025 16:33

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 18:38

Is there even any point in me bothering with the tree, decs and all that goes with it. When I can’t even afford to do any shopping.
all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury…. Well can someone point me in the right direction cause our life sucks.
things were ok till my husbands health took a turn for the worse.which is also starting to effect our marriage - for that might as well be over an all. He is now under investigation due to neurological tremors and a few other things. I’m also disabled with physical and neurological issues. I get some pip and my husband gets carers.( he’s not applied for pip due to believing all the nastiness that’s currently going round) Our universal credit is 1085 a month after deductions. Our rent is 700 of that. So we’re living off less than 500 a month. By the time Iv paid all the bills there is nothing left. So what’s the point in even carrying on anymore. Things were manageable even after our youngest child dropped off our claim. ( he’s still in college full time and at home) my daughter has left and gone to uni. My eldest 2 have their own life’s. Am I wrong in telling them not to bother coming home this year and asking my son if he can find a friends to go to instead. We’re down to 2 meals a week, minimal heating due to the amount that British Gas is asking for each month. Iv cancelled everything I could from insurance policies to subscriptions, internet ( that’s due to go off any day now) life is miserable and I can’t seem to find anyway out. We can’t afford to move, or even get on the council list. All the local help has stopped applications and I can’t even get a food bank referral. There is nothing left in our town and trying to find work is impossible. Just keep getting refused. So no Christmas for us this year and the kids have all been told not to bother since there is nothing. I just feel that the only way would be if we wasn’t here to be a burden. We don’t have any other family or friends. So that’s not an option either. Rather fed up on life and how the news is portraying things when it’s way far from reality.

“all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury”

You must have missed all the news reports about people ‘on benefits’ who have died of starvation or suicide in recent years. The statistics about people who have been sanctioned or wrongly declared for for work, who died shortly afterwards. The astronomical rise in the need for food banks (and baby banks, hygiene banks, uniform banks, fuel banks, warm hubs, pop up shelters for rough sleepers in cold weather…)

It’s interesting how everyone who complains that other people are seemingly ‘getting a free council house’ and ‘living the high life on benefits’ don’t just jack their jobs in and do it themselves. It’s almost like they know it’s not actually the easy, lazy, money-for-nothing option they demonise it to be.

Far more people are cheating the system through tax evasion/avoidance and cash in hand undeclared income - but because those lifestyles are seen as aspirational or rebellious, it’s not as trendy to complain about that 🙃

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 16:08

Lots of GPs don't have this service. Mine doesn't, just the phone every morning option.

well, according to Wes Streeting who spoke on this today , all GPs should or be on the way to setting this up.

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 16:07

Mokeytree · 03/12/2025 15:56

You can easily qualify as caring for 35 hours a week while working full time, though obviously you then would be earning too much to qualify.

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That wasn't the point I was making - not about his hours of work.
It was about his capacity to act as a carer while also needing PIP for himself. The information online says in such circumstances there would be an assessment of each.

Mokeytree · 03/12/2025 16:00

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 15:46

Your GP practice will have female GPs if that is the only Dr you're willing to see.

You can now also make appts online and have online consultations.

Have you tried those? You're able to use the internet, by posting here, so maybe use the online services for your GP?

Lots of GPs don't have this service. Mine doesn't, just the phone every morning option.

I do think OPs first point of call should be contacting adult social services as it sounds like they need a lot of support. I hope they would be able to help OP access appropriate support and apply for the correct financial support.

Failing that OP I think you may need to go through the thread and make a list of the advice on here and go through them maybe one thing per day depending what you find manageable and hopefully there will be some help available.

Mokeytree · 03/12/2025 15:56

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 15:34

@purplepentagram I'm sorry to hear all of this but as others have said, you need an action plan. I'd forget about Xmas costs because you have far more pressing issues.

1 Your husband can apply for PIP but his carers' allowance may be reassessed because if he's giving 35 hours a week of care to you, they will ask how he is able to do that if he thinks he is eligible for PIP.

2 Is he unable to work? Has he not worked for some time? Assume so, or he couldn't get 35 hours of carers' allowance. Is there work he could do from home depending on his skills? Many jobs now are WFH.

3 If he is the most able-bodied, he needs to go to your GP in person (not phone) and get his own investigations for his blood cancer accelerated AND he needs to make an appointment for you to discuss your diet.

IF you only eat food on 2 days a week, you will die. That's starvation. If you mean you nibble or snack on 5 days and only eat proper meals on 2 days that's different. What medical support do you have if you have not seen a Dr for 12 months? How are you getting repeats of your injections?

4 Your 20 yr old son needs to do something to earn money. Is he SEND? Is that why he's retaking GCSEs at 20? I doubt he's at college full time if he's doing English and Maths. What is his career plan ? Are those 2 GCSEs going to enable him to do other training? What does he want to study for? Is an NVQ (similar things) or an apprenticeship not more useful? Has he tried local shops for shelf stacking jobs? Local cafes? A few hours in a pub?

Maybe sit down with your husband and talk over what each of you needs to do.

Edited

You can easily qualify as caring for 35 hours a week while working full time, though obviously you then would be earning too much to qualify.

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 15:46

Your GP practice will have female GPs if that is the only Dr you're willing to see.

You can now also make appts online and have online consultations.

Have you tried those? You're able to use the internet, by posting here, so maybe use the online services for your GP?

Pumpkinsonastring · 03/12/2025 15:46

EINSEINSNULL · 03/12/2025 08:22

Even with the standing charge, it's still much cheaper to heat with gas.

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I know! But can you not see that a person who doesn't use their gas heating because they can't afford to is paying a standing charge for absolutely nothing? (Well, hot water I guess, which is why they'd need an electric shower to go gas-less). That's money that could be used for something, that's all I'm saying.

It's basic maths. If someone pays £20 a month for example for a standing charge for gas but isn't using the gas, that's £20 wasted. They'll already be paying the standing charge for electricity regardless, and that's not pointless because they'll be using lights, washing machine, shower etc. So that £20 gas charge, that's wasted money getting them nothing, could instead be used for a little electricity to heat the place a bit. I'm not saying electricity is a cheaper form of heating, I'm saying desperate people wasting money paying for something they can't afford to actually use is a pointless thing to do.

TheSnowiestQueen · 03/12/2025 15:34

@purplepentagram I'm sorry to hear all of this but as others have said, you need an action plan. I'd forget about Xmas costs because you have far more pressing issues.

1 Your husband can apply for PIP but his carers' allowance may be reassessed because if he's giving 35 hours a week of care to you, they will ask how he is able to do that if he thinks he is eligible for PIP.

2 Is he unable to work? Has he not worked for some time? Assume so, or he couldn't get 35 hours of carers' allowance. Is there work he could do from home depending on his skills? Many jobs now are WFH.

3 If he is the most able-bodied, he needs to go to your GP in person (not phone) and get his own investigations for his blood cancer accelerated AND he needs to make an appointment for you to discuss your diet.

IF you only eat food on 2 days a week, you will die. That's starvation. If you mean you nibble or snack on 5 days and only eat proper meals on 2 days that's different. What medical support do you have if you have not seen a Dr for 12 months? How are you getting repeats of your injections?

4 Your 20 yr old son needs to do something to earn money. Is he SEND? Is that why he's retaking GCSEs at 20? I doubt he's at college full time if he's doing English and Maths. What is his career plan ? Are those 2 GCSEs going to enable him to do other training? What does he want to study for? Is an NVQ (similar things) or an apprenticeship not more useful? Has he tried local shops for shelf stacking jobs? Local cafes? A few hours in a pub?

Maybe sit down with your husband and talk over what each of you needs to do.

Wrongsaidfredd · 03/12/2025 11:17

Wrongsaidfredd · 03/12/2025 10:57

Such outlandish figures are usually based on living in a council home so having super cheap rent (you cannot just choose to live like that it’s a decades long waiting list in most places) and having multiple disabled children (can you honestly say you’d want your children to be disabled in order to have a little more money?)

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And to top it off they usually compare it with a family paying private rent/ a mortgage in LONDON of course they won’t be much better off. So misleading

Wrongsaidfredd · 03/12/2025 10:57

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/12/2025 10:52

Yes, heard it too. Tend to believe what I hear on the Today programme.
After taxes, £71k isn’t a particularly large household income for a working family now (the case study family won’t be receiving anywhere near £71k, just what the working family receives after deductions.)

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Such outlandish figures are usually based on living in a council home so having super cheap rent (you cannot just choose to live like that it’s a decades long waiting list in most places) and having multiple disabled children (can you honestly say you’d want your children to be disabled in order to have a little more money?)

Iamnicehonest · 03/12/2025 10:53

Surely if you only ate twice a week, sometimes not even that you'd be dead?

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/12/2025 10:52

RaininSummer · 02/12/2025 21:33

That figure is based on a couple with three eligible children one or some of whom are disabled. Was in radio 4 this morning from some official stats somewhere.

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Yes, heard it too. Tend to believe what I hear on the Today programme.
After taxes, £71k isn’t a particularly large household income for a working family now (the case study family won’t be receiving anywhere near £71k, just what the working family receives after deductions.)

Scottishskifun · 03/12/2025 10:51

Just to add as well OP it doesn't matter your religious background many churches have out reach programmes, Sikh temples have eat together you do not have to be from that religion to talk and see if they have any information.

Often they know who to contact and do care and that's the first step you need to do. Adult social services but also charities and other support services.

There is help out there but you have to make the first step and reach out.

Frynye · 03/12/2025 10:34

purplepentagram · 03/12/2025 10:09

Just to clarify a few things.
Thanks to all those that have some decency and thanks again to all the haters and cruel people. This is why the world is now a horrible place to live because there is so many that think it’s a lie or I’m a troll or making excuses but you come and live my life for a few weeks. Then you would change ur mind. I can provide proof but why should I. I don’t have any family to go to, I don’t have any friends to talk to either. I have numerous health issues that are mentally and physically but again I shouldnt have to go into detail when it’s bad enough what you have to go threw to get a small bit of financial help.

I don’t have any qualifications, I didn’t even finish high school. But I had worked for over 30yrs in the bar/ pub/ nightclub trade. It was something I was good at and enjoyed. But due to my health it got to a point where I physically couldn’t do it anymore. Plus with the added fact that it is now a dying trade. There is no pubs or clubs left and the ones that are don’t want an old middle aged woman when they want young pretty things behind the bar. We had managed rather well for many years without any issues and when it was tax credits we never had any problems. Then last year it all changed - we were moved over to universal credit and no matter how much they say you won’t be any worse of it’s bs. Since being on UC life has turned into a night mare. For over 20yrs we had been on a weekly wage, weekly top up budgeting fine. Then it all changed. Now I couldn’t even tell you when things are due, what’s to be paid and what’s going in or out. What once was a weekly shop a full big basket is now the price of a few items in a basket. I’m still in contract with a few things and can’t cancel them till it’s ended. These were done before everything went sideways. Every day now is a battle mentally just to function and get threw the day. There is so much negativity towards anyone that needs some help, advice or just someone to talk to. I pray for a miracle on a daily basis just for some help to help me get my head round the mess we are now in. Without people making me feel worse for asking.

it’s ok for some to say well move - easier said than done - where would we go - how - where would we get the money from to cover deposits, moving costs - I’m in private rented. My credit is now shot due to falling behind with things. So now that’s against me aswell.
it’s ok saying don’t pay things. But that’s not going to help either.
some suggest leave or even divorce my husband - but how would that help for then still one of us would have to leave, I’d then be even more lonely than I already am. If anything it would make matters worse. for I wouldn’t cope or manage on my own.
I do believe that all the health issues my husband has going on is the contributing factor to how he has changed over the years plus the added fact that he is now getting older (he is older than my self over 50 but not near pension age yet) we have been together since our early 20s.

when I can I will look into again things that have been suggested.
yet again I phoned the docs surgery this morning to be told to phone back tomorrow for there is no appointments left for today. Do some not realise how hard it is to see a female gp.

There is help out there. Fine you say your local Citizens advice is closed, so ring them. It’s a free number, they take a while to answer but they will eventually. They will help

Wrongsaidfredd · 03/12/2025 10:23

purplepentagram · 03/12/2025 10:09

Just to clarify a few things.
Thanks to all those that have some decency and thanks again to all the haters and cruel people. This is why the world is now a horrible place to live because there is so many that think it’s a lie or I’m a troll or making excuses but you come and live my life for a few weeks. Then you would change ur mind. I can provide proof but why should I. I don’t have any family to go to, I don’t have any friends to talk to either. I have numerous health issues that are mentally and physically but again I shouldnt have to go into detail when it’s bad enough what you have to go threw to get a small bit of financial help.

I don’t have any qualifications, I didn’t even finish high school. But I had worked for over 30yrs in the bar/ pub/ nightclub trade. It was something I was good at and enjoyed. But due to my health it got to a point where I physically couldn’t do it anymore. Plus with the added fact that it is now a dying trade. There is no pubs or clubs left and the ones that are don’t want an old middle aged woman when they want young pretty things behind the bar. We had managed rather well for many years without any issues and when it was tax credits we never had any problems. Then last year it all changed - we were moved over to universal credit and no matter how much they say you won’t be any worse of it’s bs. Since being on UC life has turned into a night mare. For over 20yrs we had been on a weekly wage, weekly top up budgeting fine. Then it all changed. Now I couldn’t even tell you when things are due, what’s to be paid and what’s going in or out. What once was a weekly shop a full big basket is now the price of a few items in a basket. I’m still in contract with a few things and can’t cancel them till it’s ended. These were done before everything went sideways. Every day now is a battle mentally just to function and get threw the day. There is so much negativity towards anyone that needs some help, advice or just someone to talk to. I pray for a miracle on a daily basis just for some help to help me get my head round the mess we are now in. Without people making me feel worse for asking.

it’s ok for some to say well move - easier said than done - where would we go - how - where would we get the money from to cover deposits, moving costs - I’m in private rented. My credit is now shot due to falling behind with things. So now that’s against me aswell.
it’s ok saying don’t pay things. But that’s not going to help either.
some suggest leave or even divorce my husband - but how would that help for then still one of us would have to leave, I’d then be even more lonely than I already am. If anything it would make matters worse. for I wouldn’t cope or manage on my own.
I do believe that all the health issues my husband has going on is the contributing factor to how he has changed over the years plus the added fact that he is now getting older (he is older than my self over 50 but not near pension age yet) we have been together since our early 20s.

when I can I will look into again things that have been suggested.
yet again I phoned the docs surgery this morning to be told to phone back tomorrow for there is no appointments left for today. Do some not realise how hard it is to see a female gp.

If it makes you feel better there’s been a few threads recently by people going through a hard time and almost every single one has been torn to pieces, accused of being fake/troll, accused of “it being your own fault” etc etc.
I think it’s absolutely vile and don’t understand why people bother commenting on something they think is fake or making shitty comments to someone who’s already going through a hard time. I mean seriously WHO are these people they need better hobbies

Boudy · 03/12/2025 10:20

Thank you for coning back op. I have worked in an area where I know how unbelievably shit it is for people and have experienced a fair bit of it myself. It is bloody exhausting and I found it very hard and know other people experiencing multiple issues felt like they were banging their head against a brick wall and completely knackered.If it were as it should be then you wouldn't be on here! I obviously hope that you are able to get through to someone that can help you get the support you need and help you navigate through it all.

Monty34 · 03/12/2025 10:16

Do make sure you are on a priority list with your energy provider too. And water.

And agree with others. You do have to apply for assistance. It won't get to you otherwise.

Original poster

purplepentagram · 03/12/2025 10:09

Just to clarify a few things.
Thanks to all those that have some decency and thanks again to all the haters and cruel people. This is why the world is now a horrible place to live because there is so many that think it’s a lie or I’m a troll or making excuses but you come and live my life for a few weeks. Then you would change ur mind. I can provide proof but why should I. I don’t have any family to go to, I don’t have any friends to talk to either. I have numerous health issues that are mentally and physically but again I shouldnt have to go into detail when it’s bad enough what you have to go threw to get a small bit of financial help.

I don’t have any qualifications, I didn’t even finish high school. But I had worked for over 30yrs in the bar/ pub/ nightclub trade. It was something I was good at and enjoyed. But due to my health it got to a point where I physically couldn’t do it anymore. Plus with the added fact that it is now a dying trade. There is no pubs or clubs left and the ones that are don’t want an old middle aged woman when they want young pretty things behind the bar. We had managed rather well for many years without any issues and when it was tax credits we never had any problems. Then last year it all changed - we were moved over to universal credit and no matter how much they say you won’t be any worse of it’s bs. Since being on UC life has turned into a night mare. For over 20yrs we had been on a weekly wage, weekly top up budgeting fine. Then it all changed. Now I couldn’t even tell you when things are due, what’s to be paid and what’s going in or out. What once was a weekly shop a full big basket is now the price of a few items in a basket. I’m still in contract with a few things and can’t cancel them till it’s ended. These were done before everything went sideways. Every day now is a battle mentally just to function and get threw the day. There is so much negativity towards anyone that needs some help, advice or just someone to talk to. I pray for a miracle on a daily basis just for some help to help me get my head round the mess we are now in. Without people making me feel worse for asking.

it’s ok for some to say well move - easier said than done - where would we go - how - where would we get the money from to cover deposits, moving costs - I’m in private rented. My credit is now shot due to falling behind with things. So now that’s against me aswell.
it’s ok saying don’t pay things. But that’s not going to help either.
some suggest leave or even divorce my husband - but how would that help for then still one of us would have to leave, I’d then be even more lonely than I already am. If anything it would make matters worse. for I wouldn’t cope or manage on my own.
I do believe that all the health issues my husband has going on is the contributing factor to how he has changed over the years plus the added fact that he is now getting older (he is older than my self over 50 but not near pension age yet) we have been together since our early 20s.

when I can I will look into again things that have been suggested.
yet again I phoned the docs surgery this morning to be told to phone back tomorrow for there is no appointments left for today. Do some not realise how hard it is to see a female gp.

OP posts:

Scottishskifun · 03/12/2025 10:03

@purplepentagram part of feeling exhausted will be related to how little you are eating.
Please contact your council and adult social care. They will be able to sign post you, can assist with how to get food bank vouchers etc.

You need support especially if your husband does the cooking and now can't.

Timetochillnow · 03/12/2025 09:02

Switcher · 02/12/2025 21:57

I don't understand any of this. The OP doesn't even really mention any serious attempts at finding work. Just "there isn't any". Hives don't have to stop you working. There's online work. Mystery shopping. Just a few hours would be a bit of useful money.

I’m also frustrated that this family seem unable to access help for many reasons, but would just add that hives can indeed stop you working - when so much histamine is released it makes you feel appalling and even prescription anti histamine can’t control it - they can last for weeks

pigmygoatsinjumpers · 03/12/2025 08:45

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 21:24

Of course it isn't true.

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I expect Joeninety knows this.

It's goady nonsense - along with "Pensioners don't need the state pension triple lock - they're all going on cruises" lobbed into threads to stir up contempt for benefit claimants and those over state pension age.

EINSEINSNULL · 03/12/2025 08:22

Pumpkinsonastring · 03/12/2025 02:45

I know that. But if some people aren't heating their homes at all, but are still paying a standing charge for gas, that's not helping them. Using that money for some little bit of heat might, in some cases, be better than using it to pay a standing charge that gives you nothing.

I don't really see the point in rationing heating any more. It costs so much anyway because of the standing charge, I figured I may as well pay a little more to switch it on and actually heat the place.

It's awful that we live in a country where people can't afford heating. It's not optional in the UK it's necessary for good health.

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Even with the standing charge, it's still much cheaper to heat with gas.

Franklyannoyed · 03/12/2025 08:09

Yellowsunbeam · 03/12/2025 08:05

A cheaper area ,more rural with a lower waiting list for council houses .
She's paying a lot of rent

She’s not on the list and to move out of area for council houses you need to have lived in that area for a period before you can get on the wait list.

Yellowsunbeam · 03/12/2025 08:05

A cheaper area ,more rural with a lower waiting list for council houses .
She's paying a lot of rent