Christmas now unaffordable

It's awful that you are in situation, but as it really is two meals a week - you need to see your GP urgently for a food referral, you need to apply to up your pip if possible and your husband to get pip. You have no choice.

As PPs say chip in with your kids to host Christmas at whoever has the most suitable place.

Citizens advice has a centralised online chat, which can help put you in touch with the local place when it's open.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/

I think you should also talk to Disability rights UK
03444 111 444

If you can say where you are based people may be able to suggest local organisations you haven't come across.

I can imagine you are totally exhausted by this so you need some help to improve things.

If fit notes have been submitted and a person hasn't heard ( received UC50) when they should have then a person can ask..it does happen.

Make sure you are on social tariff’s for utilities. Ask your council for discretionary payments. Some religious groups will provide a hot meal without any expectation. Take care of yourself.

You can't ask for uc50 forms as such. You need to submit fit notes from the doctor and then they are sent after 30 days. Only one LCWRA can be paid on a couples claim and having an assessment does not necessarily put you in that group if they decide that you are able to work in some capacity. Can you get some free or cheap food from Olio to help out with meals?

I told my daughter today I can’t afford a Christmas tree…honestly I just can’t be arsed with the faff of buying one and my cats jumping in it. we have a little Christmas tree lamp and a very small table tree that will just have to do. Another reason am reluctant to buy one is I have very limited space to store it

You would really benefit from applying for the Discretionary housing payment I mentioned in my previous post. If you are unfit for work then you need to submit a fit note and start the ball rolling on lcwra.

The pip process isn’t nice and easy as you are aware but it is easier than surviving on 2 meals a week.

Regarding food vouchers most are administered by the Trussel Trust they are impartial and judgement free so a difference of beliefs won’t come into it.

I very much doubt someone could survive, eating only twice a week.
Why haven't you applied for the limited capability for work element on UC?

we can not afford to move. There is no smaller, cheaper properties.

Then you need a lodger. It's not good being precious about not wanting to share your home. You need the money, you don't have the luxury of being precious.

When you say you eat twice a week, what are you eating on these days, whats the budget? Do you have dietary restrictions or a restricted cooking setup? If you can give us more information on the food situation we might be able to help. Do you have a Facebook community page where you could look up if there are any food shares, its not all food banks you sometimes have zero waste sharing hubs too, worth a look maybe.

I’m sorry to be blunt but if you really were eating 2 meals a week then your husband would get off his high horse and claim what he’s entitled to!

OP you are refusing to help yourself.

Take a look at the criteria for PIP. Take a look at your award letter for the reasons you've been awarded it. If those reasons are incorrect ie if you've been given 2 points because you can do xyz but actually you can't do xyz and should have 8 points, then you need to get your PIP claim looked at again. Report a change of circumstances to say it's worsened from whatever they say the situation is, if they've got the situation wrong. Because if you're not getting the correct amount it's because they haven't given you the correct acknowledgement of your issues. It can be sorted.

Your husband needs to apply. He can get the ball rolling with a claim and seek out the paperwork needed later. It takes time for the claim to progress.

If your CAB is never open then phone them! They'll have a system for making an appointment. Use it.

Talk to your children. You have at least one son, the one with a family, who can most likely afford an extra large tin of peas and potatoes and an extra chicken to feed a few more people, he's the one who is best placed to host your family Christmas this year. Your children would much rather learn of your hardships and have a bit of worry about that than be told of your deaths from hypothermia or starvation.

Refusing to do all the above is an example of the twisted illogical thinking I was talking about. You literally can't think straight when your brain is starved of fuel. I'm also wondering if any of your health symptoms are actually caused by malnutrition or being exacerbated by it. Because on two meals a week you are most definitely malnourished.

Are you working OP? If not, is it because you're fit for work but currently unemployed? Or is it due to your health? If you can't work for health reasons you should have a Low Capability for Work Related Activity on your UC claim, but you have to claim this and jump through their hoops to get it. So if you're supposed to be getting that then claim it. It gives extra money per month.

You should look into claiming council tax credit too, that's not included in UC. You have to claim it separately, it's for people on a low income, regardless of where that income comes from.

I know. It isn't always sent automatically though which is why I mentioned it as it sounded like the situation had been going on for a while. Also have to be earning under a certain amount before it is sent and it dosen't sound like they are. I have also realised op that my suggestions are not very helpful fior Christmas but might be for longer term.

Families are there to help one another. Yes you don’t want to worry your adult children but also thy will surely want to help. If nothing else you can be together. What about the food bank? Also contact your MP. This is is a legitimate reason to contact them - to ask for help.

They need to be handing in fit notes for at least 29 days before UC50 will be sent

I am sorry op. I agree re your husband applying for pip. Can you put message in UC Journal and ask them to send UC50 forms to both of you if needed? This will go towards assessment for limited capability for work(lcw) which you do not receive extra money for or limited capability for work related activity( lcwra) where you are not required to look for work and do receive some extra money. Before April 2026 just over £400 a month and if new claimant after that date around 240ish a month. It is really tough but may be worth doing. It can take a long time from when they receive form to assessment and decision but better to get it done? Also citizens advice perhaps. Depending where you are it might be hard to get through to them but again worth doiing.Also entitled to online...can show up other support thst might be around,such as £150 help with electricity/ gas for winter. If you don't get this already( people on low incomes etc) Sorry it is so tough op.

If you are really only eating twice a week then you need to see your GP urgently for a food bank referral. Or talk to your local church.

Can your older two who are working not help at all?

Have you checked on entitledto to check you're claiming everything you're eligible for?

Remember that Christmas isn't about how much you can spend or how much food you can eat. Christmas can be as cheap as you make it. Its no less a Christmas.

I wonder if some of the most desperate would do better to have their gas switched off. The standing charges are horrendous now. Whether people use their gas or not, they're still paying a bill. If they had only electricity it's only one standing charge, the money they spent on the gas standing charge could then be spent on actual electricity to heat their homes. Would only be cheaper if they already possessed some kind of electric heating and electric shower though, having to buy those things would be too expensive. I'm also not sure if getting the gas switched off is free. I know it isn't if you want it switched on again in the future.

You can still access community fridges/ larders. Google them in your area. Anyone can use them as theyre designed to prevent food waste. Most are run by your local churches and they do different days so you could go to all of them theoretically

Please drop into your local citizens advice. They can and will who you. They can even get you a food bank voucher and possibly even a fuel voucher

oh wow, that sounds tough 😮 did you mean 2 meals a week, or 2 meals a day? Is there any work online you can do from home?

Your adult children who have moved out and have their own lives should be the ones hosting Christmas now and if you get along they should be inviting you and their brother to join them. If they could afford to move out they presumably have jobs even if it's only minimum wage. So should be able to afford to host a Christmas meal, even if it's not lavish and they also can't afford the heating. You're obviously too poor to do it any more. If they don't realise this, I'd be brutally honest with them about your circumstances. Let everyone know you can't afford to buy presents this year.

I wouldn't buy anything new but I would put up the decorations you've got, just to try to cheer yourself up a bit. Unless you really aren't bothered about Christmas decorations? I know some people only do it for their children. I like the decorations though and have always done a tree no matter how skint I am. I've still got the 4ft plastic one I bought 15yrs ago, the cheapest fairy lights and packet of baubles, a star on top. Some Christmases there's only been me here, I've still put it up because I like it and it makes me feel part of the festivities.

Your husband needs to stop being precious. As a household you need the money. If he wants to be a dickhead about not claiming something he's entitled to due to the effort, hassle or judgement then I think it's probably time to separate finances. The UC claim is a joint claim, so you each take 50% of it, afterwards putting the amount needed for rent and bills from your own account into a joint account that is only used for paying rent and bills. The remainder stays in your own separate bank accounts.

Your husband gets the carer's allowance into his account. For that he's supposed to be providing 35hrs of care a week so never feel guilty about asking him for help if you need it. If he doesn't want to do the job then he needs to not be claiming the carer's allowance and you'd need to get onto social services for an assessment.

You get your PIP paid into your own account.

You'd each buy your own food, toiletries, clothes, medication, phone package, gifts for others, travel costs etc from your own separate accounts.

If you separate finances you might find that although quality of life is poor, you've got some money left after bills for discretionary spending, whether that's on nicer food occasionally or something like being able to go swimming once a month or whatever.

Your youngest child I think needs an honest chat about the situation. Fact is you can't afford to sub them through uni. They have accommodation there, some kind of income or grant/loan they're living off? They needs to stay there in their accommodation and continue funding themselves. You can't afford to have them home eating your food, using the water etc and you can't afford to keep a bedroom for them when they've basically moved out already. It needs to become permanent. Let them know that they'll need to secure their own accommodation after leaving uni because you can't afford to have them back.

I know it sounds mean but it isn't really. It's ridiculous that we've become a country where going to university is seen as both necessary and something people are entitled to do. It isn't. Sometimes people can't afford to go and that's ok. Sometimes people make whatever sacrifices they need to make to fund their own way through university and that's ok too. Your child needs to face the fact you can't afford this so either they pay their own way as they are now or if they can't then they get a job to enable themselves to do so. If that means dropping out of uni then so be it.

If you're eating only two meals a week then you're basically starving and it will have negative impacts on your brain, you won't be able to think logically any more and will have a warped thought process. You need to eat more, end of.

You can create a situation where you can do that either by moving to a smaller property now all your children have moved out or renting the youngest one's old room to a lodger, ensuring you charge enough that it will cover the utilities they'll inevitably use. It'll mean more money coming in and being able to afford to put the heating on as well as eat properly.

Continuing on as you are and just cancelling Christmas as an added misery, isn't going to help you.

Why have you only £500 pcm? You will have your PIP, your DH will have his carer element (another £200 pcm) and if you are not able to work you should be entitled to LCRW which is another £350ish pcm.

Apologies @Burningbud1981 tax credits were paid upto 20. CB is still paid until 20