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Original poster

Men who can't keep to their own side of a double seat on public transport

139 replies

Pavementworrier · 02/12/2025 17:41

This is getting worse right? It's getting to the point where they just launch themselves halfway across both and crush the person sitting at the window and don't seem to see anything wrong with this. Guy just did that to me so I elbowed him away and he turned to look at me in outrage.

I think part of the issue is people who used to drive are getting public transport more. Which is good overall but it also means a lot more selfish pricks in enclosed spaces.

OP posts:
BrokenWorldRecord · 02/12/2025 21:04

Gosh, OP! You clearly don’t belong on this site. It’s all 6-figure salaries, rural living and Range Rovers. This is not the place for public transport users.

Brefugee · 02/12/2025 21:03

Howtogetthrough · 02/12/2025 18:24

I agree with pp who said it's not a gender issue.

I also get very annoyed with the people who sit in the aisle side of the seat and leave the window seat vacant. They not only very pointedly think they are entitled to a double seat all to themselves but also often have their bodies positioned so far into the aisle itself it's a nightmare getting past them to get off the bus.

it's sex not gender

and i will sit on the aisle seat of a double if i want, i often do. I don't mind standing to let someone sit next to the window, but i want an aisle seat.

Manspreaders are annoying. I ust make sure to push right back.

Thechaseison71 · 02/12/2025 21:02

StrawberrySquash · 02/12/2025 18:27

Part of it is that seats are not big, especially on buses.

Lol. They are huge compared to buses in India or Thailand

tulippa · 02/12/2025 21:00

tothelefttotheleft · 02/12/2025 20:05

But then you end up in the aisle and getting in the way of people getting on and off the bus.

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I prefer that to feeling trapped in by a stranger. I do have bit of a thing about it though and hate any invasion of my personal space.

bellabasset · 02/12/2025 20:50

I have to use a stick and I just say 'Excuse me' if people are in my way. It doesn't always work though

Fimofriend · 02/12/2025 20:44

I still resent the woman who squashed me up against the window in a bus when I was 12. There were empty seats but she wanted to sit close to her friends and didn't want to admit that her but was two seats wide. I was too timid to say anything and her friends didn't say anything either despite the fact that their faces showed that they were aware and appalled at what she did.

Besides the pain, I feel that she treated me like I was nothing and that felt dehumanizing

BunfightBetty · 02/12/2025 20:37

BIossomtoes · 02/12/2025 20:01

It’s usually men sitting with their knees splayed. I ask them to move their legs now - very loudly. I can probably only get away with it because I’m old.

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Likewise! I give them a look and push back with my leg, and if that doesn't work, I point out where the seat demarcation is and tell them they need to keep to their own side.

I'd never have done that when I was younger, but now I'm older my sense of outrage and assertiveness is way stronger than any need to people-please, not be a nuisance, or risk having people get cross with me. I'm all out of fucks now about any of that.

Needmorelego · 02/12/2025 20:24

DeftGoldHedgehog · 02/12/2025 20:04

Yes it is. I've never had a personal space issue sitting next to another woman.

I wonder what happens when two manspreaders sit together.

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Come travel on some buses in South London.
You will definitely get the "not just men" experience.

tothelefttotheleft · 02/12/2025 20:05

tulippa · 02/12/2025 18:02

This is why I always take the aisle seat. Less chance of feeling claustrophobic or getting squashed if someone sits next to you and spreads out whether they're male or female.

But then you end up in the aisle and getting in the way of people getting on and off the bus.

ChangeIsDue · 02/12/2025 20:05

Not where I live (outskirts of London). The only time I struggle with actual people taking up too much is when they are too large for just one seat. Quite a few people sit there and don't move their bags off the neighbouring seat unless they are actively asked, however..

DeftGoldHedgehog · 02/12/2025 20:04

Needmorelego · 02/12/2025 18:26

This is not a "man" thing.
This is a public transport thing.

Yes it is. I've never had a personal space issue sitting next to another woman.

I wonder what happens when two manspreaders sit together.

BIossomtoes · 02/12/2025 20:01

TreadLight · 02/12/2025 17:58

I am currently sat next to a woman whose girth means she takes up a seat and a half. This isn’t a gender issue.

It’s usually men sitting with their knees splayed. I ask them to move their legs now - very loudly. I can probably only get away with it because I’m old.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 20:00

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/12/2025 19:58

Right, that went way over my head! Sorry 🚁

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Its alright 😄

I amused myself at least 🤭

DeftGoldHedgehog · 02/12/2025 19:59

I have been known to wedge my bag down the side of me to create a barrier and more space

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/12/2025 19:58

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 19:56

That was the joke 😭😭

i attached the photo of alexandra burke!

She claimed to have brought the phrase 'elephant into the room' to the uk 😄

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Right, that went way over my head! Sorry 🚁

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 19:56

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/12/2025 19:55

Lots of people call it man spreading.

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That was the joke 😭😭

i attached the photo of alexandra burke!

She claimed to have brought the phrase 'elephant into the room' to the uk 😄

Isittimeformynapyet · 02/12/2025 19:55

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 19:19

I call it manspreading

Lots of people call it man spreading.

cinnamongirl123 · 02/12/2025 19:51

Yes this happened to me recently, the guy’s elbow and arm were way into my seat, crushing me. I tried to put my bag between us, well this guy went mental, shouting at me etc, I said ‘but you’re in my space’, he said ‘well I was here first’. He went mental, trying to grab my bag and phone. It was really scary. Full carriage, no one even acknowledged it.
This taught me that in future if a man invades my space I will just quietly get up and move (if possible). It’s too dangerous otherwise.

Wrenjay · 02/12/2025 19:33

I hate it when someone gets on a bus or train with their rucksack on their back. If you are using public transport take the damn thing off and carry it low down as it hits people sitting in the face or back of their head and it's very dangerous. I have had this happen several times especially on buses when I'm sitting in the seat next to the isle.

AutumnClouds · 02/12/2025 19:25

There’s such a difference between asking a woman to move her bag or getting an accidental elbow jab and having a strange man’s arm and leg pressing into you. When it’s an issue of weight it’s unfortunate for all concerned and equal opportunities.

MiddleAgedDread · 02/12/2025 19:22

The nation is getting fatter and few people now fit within their own space on a public transport seat!

mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 19:20

TreadLight · 02/12/2025 17:58

I am currently sat next to a woman whose girth means she takes up a seat and a half. This isn’t a gender issue.

...

Tyra Banks Wtf GIF
mumofoneAloneandwell · 02/12/2025 19:19

I call it manspreading

Men who can't keep to their own side of a double seat on public transport
Coffeeishot · 02/12/2025 18:46

StrawberrySquash · 02/12/2025 18:27

Part of it is that seats are not big, especially on buses.

This, we have new electric buses they are so narrow and the seats are definitely not double seats,imo

TON618 · 02/12/2025 18:42

Take up the space you've paid for. If they feel uncomfortable with that, they'll move. I've done it.