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My neighbour is a convicted paedophile

312 replies

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 11:56

I've just found out from another neighbour that the man two doors down, who we chat to regularly and are friendly with, has been convicted of horrific child pornography charges. Like, the worst. It's really thrown me, I have a two year old and a four year old and I want them to be able to play in their garden without worrying about him watching or worse.
We live on a really small street which the name of was reported in the local paper so I am also a bit worried about potential vigilante type actions. I am obviously hoping he moves away (his marriage has collapsed so I'm hoping he financially has to) but no sign of that yet. Incredibly he got a suspended sentence, what a joke. Am I unreasonable to feel like I want to move?! What do I do?

OP posts:
MrsSlocombesCat · 02/12/2025 12:29

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That's a terrible idea. Sex offenders are monitored and doing something like this forces them underground where they can't be observed. At least the OP knows, if he's forced into hiding people around him won't know and he'll be able to reoffend.

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:28

thestudio · 02/12/2025 12:25

Have you learned nothing about fully digesting before you post?

I said nothing about actually passing the information on.

As an aside, though, those convictions were for - surprise - actually inciting violence - for eg calling for hostels to be firebombed.

Since the details are already public, passing on that information is perfectly within the law.

You said...

"I think I would have to tell him that if he doesn't move out within three months you'll be letting 'the local community' know."

Which is a direct threat and you know it.

Kibble19 · 02/12/2025 12:28

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:26

Which one does your brain think is more dangerous?

With regards to adults being alone with your children, your brain shouldn't be telling you that one is safer than the other, because it can't possibly know that.

Ditto your child being alone around dogs.

I was more referring to what someone could do from afar - taking photos, watching them, filming etc. The overall risk.

I’d never trust any unknown person with unsupervised contact with my child, absolutely correct on that. 👍🏼

SeriouslyStressed · 02/12/2025 12:26

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:07

And one other thing - people need to stop saying "child pornography", as it implies legitimacy. It's child abuse images.

100%!!!

Pinkpom · 02/12/2025 12:26

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 12:16

Because otherwise it looks like he'll keep saying hi to me and chatting as normal! I need to cut that dead, I don't want him near me or my family. So I'll have to say something like "I don't want to have anything to do with you. You know why." Or similar.

If you feel like you need to say something then be direct and calm with him. Tell him you know what he is and what he has done and you want him nowhere near you or your family. Tell him you do not want him approaching or engaging with your kids in any way. I understand how violated you must feel, this person is a monster.

However, unfortunately, you cannot make him move. All you can do is be hyper vigilant and make your children aware that he is not to be approached.

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:26

Kibble19 · 02/12/2025 12:23

I don’t get this “there are paedophiles everywhere, at least you know about this one” argument.

It is true that they hide in plain sight, but you surely go with risk. This person is a proven, convicted risk to children. So he should be identified and treated as such.

Imagine two neighbours’ houses with a dog each. One’s an XL bully who attacked someone before, the other is a similar sized, mix breed dog whom you have no knowledge of but doesn’t seem aggressive. Which one does your brain think is more dangerous? The same goes for people. Yes, the mix breed dog might attack one day, but you know the other is a risk.

Which one does your brain think is more dangerous?

With regards to adults being alone with your children, your brain shouldn't be telling you that one is safer than the other, because it can't possibly know that.

Ditto your child being alone around dogs.

Pyjamatimenow · 02/12/2025 12:26

I would be moving. Paedos are everywhere though. People don’t realise how common it is

GAJLY · 02/12/2025 12:25

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 12:13

Definitely sure on identity. I think I will have to say something if I see him (which I will). I don't want him having an easy ride on a quiet street. I want him gone. The other neighbours are all upset too - one couple even took him out for a meal the other week because his wife had left him and he'd lost his job (makes sense now) and they wanted to cheer him up. He does have kids but they are at university now.

Makes you sick doesn't it? How people are rallying around being nice to him, when it's because he's done that!!!

thestudio · 02/12/2025 12:25

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:12

Have you learned nothing from the people recently sent to prison for inciting violence, during the protests over asylum seekers?

Dangerous suggestion.

Have you learned nothing about fully digesting before you post?

I said nothing about actually passing the information on.

As an aside, though, those convictions were for - surprise - actually inciting violence - for eg calling for hostels to be firebombed.

Since the details are already public, passing on that information is perfectly within the law.

x2boys · 02/12/2025 12:24

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Then what ?
He moves somewhere else ,where there is also children?
At least where he is now everybody is aware and hopefully appropriate checks and safe guards are in place
As abhorrent as it is he does have to.live somewhere and knowing about him is better than not knowing about him.

Kibble19 · 02/12/2025 12:23

I don’t get this “there are paedophiles everywhere, at least you know about this one” argument.

It is true that they hide in plain sight, but you surely go with risk. This person is a proven, convicted risk to children. So he should be identified and treated as such.

Imagine two neighbours’ houses with a dog each. One’s an XL bully who attacked someone before, the other is a similar sized, mix breed dog whom you have no knowledge of but doesn’t seem aggressive. Which one does your brain think is more dangerous? The same goes for people. Yes, the mix breed dog might attack one day, but you know the other is a risk.

x2boys · 02/12/2025 12:21

At least you know it would be more dangerous if you didn't, all you can do is keep out of his way.

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:18

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:14

What will you saying something achieve? Get on with your life and stop looking for trouble.

Agreed.

Plus the OP has no idea what her other neighbours are looking at online.

Just leave it now OP and hopefully he'll move out.

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:17

No, you DON'T have to say anything OP. It's rather that you WANT to.

Spanador · 02/12/2025 12:17

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:07

And one other thing - people need to stop saying "child pornography", as it implies legitimacy. It's child abuse images.

Exactly what I was thinking, it makes me cringe every time I see someone say that. It totally downplays what actually happens

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 12:16

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:14

What will you saying something achieve? Get on with your life and stop looking for trouble.

Because otherwise it looks like he'll keep saying hi to me and chatting as normal! I need to cut that dead, I don't want him near me or my family. So I'll have to say something like "I don't want to have anything to do with you. You know why." Or similar.

OP posts:
AlastheDaffodils · 02/12/2025 12:16

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:14

What will you saying something achieve? Get on with your life and stop looking for trouble.

This. Obviously you should tell your children to keep away from him. But it’s pointless to “want him gone.” He’s not in prison so he’s got to live somewhere.

Kibble19 · 02/12/2025 12:15

You don’t need to go in all guns blazing with the “leave or…” threats. As another poster says, that could get you into trouble.

Nothing wrong with a very clear conversation though, in which you tell him exactly what you know, that the rest of the street also know, and that he’s being watched by everyone.

Once word gets round, his windows will go in, his car will be done over. Then they usually leave.

GAJLY · 02/12/2025 12:15

I'd stop being friendly with him and tell all the neighbours. Hopefully he'll want to move out. If he doesn't, make sure you tell your children not to go near him, because he's a bad man.

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:14

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 12:13

Definitely sure on identity. I think I will have to say something if I see him (which I will). I don't want him having an easy ride on a quiet street. I want him gone. The other neighbours are all upset too - one couple even took him out for a meal the other week because his wife had left him and he'd lost his job (makes sense now) and they wanted to cheer him up. He does have kids but they are at university now.

What will you saying something achieve? Get on with your life and stop looking for trouble.

Obviouslyneedtonamechange · 02/12/2025 12:13

Definitely sure on identity. I think I will have to say something if I see him (which I will). I don't want him having an easy ride on a quiet street. I want him gone. The other neighbours are all upset too - one couple even took him out for a meal the other week because his wife had left him and he'd lost his job (makes sense now) and they wanted to cheer him up. He does have kids but they are at university now.

OP posts:
CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:12

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Have you learned nothing from the people recently sent to prison for inciting violence, during the protests over asylum seekers?

Dangerous suggestion.

CandyCayne · 02/12/2025 12:09

What's the point in moving?

There are paedophiles everywhere unfortunately.

At least you know about this one, but you won't know about all the others in your area or in any other area.

Kibble19 · 02/12/2025 12:08

I don’t think many others share my views on this, which is fine, but I’d tell that beast that you know exactly what he is, and that you’re watching him. I also wouldn’t be shy in chatting to other neighbours about it.

Absolutely no prisoners taken; they deserve to be treated like pariahs.

Lemonfrost · 02/12/2025 12:07

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No, no, no.