My neighbour is a convicted paedophile

Yes, our lovely, helpful neighbour was a convicted child abuser.

As was a very nice builder. Ironically, I'd always made sure my children (young teens) were never left alone in the house when the builders were in - I trusted the builders (obviously I was wrong), but didn't want to put them in an awkward position. At least it meant I didn't have to cross examine them after we read about his conviction and imprisonment.

It's better to know. Unpleasant, but better.

Edited for grammar

Message deleted; thought this was a new thread.

Keep your kids away from him, and stop engaging. That will stop any risk to your family.

You are right though, i agree. I would tell him i know and that he must stay away from me and mine, and i would also tell anyone in the neighbourhood who would listen. I would personally want to make his life as difficult as i could within the law. These vile men get off so lightly, unacceptable.

Not sure if this has been said already but someone mentioned "accidentally downloading images of CSA." This is not - as far as I know - something that can happen accidentally. So anyone claiming it was all a big misunderstanding or a few wrong clicks or somehow they ended downloading is full of it - most people go through life never seeing these images. You need to be seeking them out and you need to want to see them. I'm sure they justify it to themselves as a harmless little secret but it's not - they are normalising and facilitating the abuse of helpless children

I worked in a sector that dealt with sex offenders and the majority never hit the news or court. We had statistics out in 2023 and the reckoning was in each street there will be up to 8 registered and unregistered offenders. Sadly it's so common you could probably never move to an area unless alone in the middle of a field where your weren't near one. Even more sadly it's men and women usually well known in a street as the friendly,helpful, neighbourly types. I left that sector because I couldn't deal with how there was barely any punishment for the vast majority

Print the article off and post it through every letter box in the neighbourhood and when you see him say that you have been made aware of his conviction and ask if he intends to move. If the answer is no, say you’re disappointed to hear that and you will be watching him like a hawk, and hope he is receiving treatment for his dangerous sexual disorder. Then never speak to him again.

Not excusing his behaviour (before people start calling me an "paedophile apologist"), and maybe this thread is too emotive to discuss this, but this does raise the wider ethical question: what should we do with convicted felons in general, after prison? With lesser crimes, many ex-cons find it extremely difficult to find employment, because of their past, so what do they do? They reoffend, because crime pays the bills in the short term, and while in prison, they have been tutored by the professional criminals, some of whom see prison as "a temporary inconvenience". There is a reason why our reoffending rate is extremely high. Certainly child abuse is a crime which most people have a special hatred for, with good reason, and in prison, those convicted of it have to be kept separate from other prisoners, for their own safety.

Should we bring back the asylums where anyone with "mental health" issues is kept separate from everybody else, for the rest of their lives, as happened with people (not criminals) who are now accepted in mainstream society, such as autistic people, who were once treated with the same contempt as criminals? The irony is that in those times, the biggest perpetrators of child abuse were probably respected pillars of the community: doctors, priests, policemen, teachers, politicians, who got away with it because of who they were, and of course a certain notorious TV presenter. And many perpetrators probably still are "respected" people now, but they know that if they are rumbled, it is much easier for them to be ruined, and for their past to be known about, with DBS checks, and cancel culture. JS did his dirty work in plain sight: nowadays, child abusers have to be much more cunning and devious.

It's true that in extreme cases, those convicted of terrible crimes, especially against children, are given new identities after their release, which always brings on the right-wing screaming about the cost of doing this, and that we should just gas them instead, or transport them abroad (again, moving the problem somewhere else). The question is, where do we draw the line? Rehabilitating offenders is a calculated risk.

I’m sure he’s well aware that people know of his crime, since it’s been reported in the papers and it’s unlikely that the neighbour telling the OP is an isolated communication of this news in the neighbourhood.

Convicted paedophiles should not be living alongside normal people.

Even paedophiles have to live somewhere. At least you know about this person and can take steps to avoid him. Worry more about those you do not know about.

Her children are 2 & 4, they shouldn't need to be told anything, they shouldn't be out alone.

@Obviouslyneedtonamechange there's much to be said for 'the devil you know' You know what he is & where he is, it's no worse than him moving & someone side moving in.

I don’t think I would be able to sleep at night knowing he was in the building. There are bound to be adult survivors of CSA living in that block who will be re-traumatised by the knowledge of what he did.

my point at that stage of the thread wass what the paedophile thinks is happening. Not what is actually happening.

I work with these people too. I am not entirely sure you are suited to doing so, given some of your comments on here.

It’s very uncomfortable knowing that someone you have been friendly with is sexually attracted to children and has watched children being sexually abused. It’s a form of taking part in the abuse and should always carry a sentence shocking that it doesn’t

you know now, you know not to be in anyway friendly with him and to keep your children away from him word has got around and he shall be others people problem soon

You can fight the making of sexual images of children under the banner of fighting pornography generally.

No - you need to meet people where they are with activism. Many/most think porn is 'a fact of life' - they don't think that about images of CSA or about CSA more generally. You're literally inviting them to feel less certain about something they currnetly believe is a non-negotiable moral value.

I actually think the current acceptance of pornography makes fighting CSA harder`
This is true in terms of 'barely legal'. But changing social acceptance of pornography requires a decades long cultural shift - changing acceptance of 'barely legal' could be a lot quicker if the state/tech was forced to get behind that.

This is a perfect example of 'perfection is the enemy of good' as it relates to social change imv.

You sound very very - dangerously naive. I work with these devious bastards. Op won’t even be able to use a paddling pool in the summer, nor can she be sure he isn’t filming or watching their movements. She needs cameras herself, a ring doorbell, a conversation with the police. You are grossly minimising the risk. Sadly I have witnessed the lengths they will go to.

I think I disagree. You can fight the making of sexual images of children under the banner of fighting pornography generally.

I actually think the current acceptance of pornography makes fighting CSA harder. Images and videos of underage girls are in free circulation because you can't tell they're underage (not for sure anyway) just by looking at them. Even where the women are actually adults, the material is often promoted in child abuse adjacent ways ("barely legal", "schoolgirl", stepdaughter") which presumably only encourages illegal behaviour. More restrictions on pornography would keep children safe.

I think it means that if she moves she will have no idea about her neighbours and there could be more or worse. Whereas here, she knows and can keep distance etc. She can stay away, don’t talk to him, tell her kids to stay away. In a new place she can’t do that because you don’t know.

I get the panic and awful feelings. But I also agree that uprooting the kids won’t help and that he’ll likely move on soon or be attacked.

@thestudio The local community already know: the OP said it was a neighbour who told her.

Totally agree that any parent would be horrified at having that man as their neighbour. No doubt about that. Horrified, upset and very angry. Those feelings are totally justified and nobody on this thread has said that OP shouldn’t feel horrified. But OP is asking what ACTION she should take and lots of people are pointing out that this man, monster as he is, is not an actual threat to the OP since he has been convicted. OP knows she has to keep her children well away from him and she will be able to do that.

Why don't YOU leave? What exactly are you bringing to the table?

Why don’t you leave the thread. Your comments are of no value.
Anyone with a child will rightly feel horrified having this monster live next door.