Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Xmas Decs

33 replies

KatDa · 02/12/2025 07:52

My brother was murdered on Xmas Eve 4 years ago, Since then we have never put up decorations, since we dont have anything to celebrate.

We moved to a new house in the summer in a small Close of 10 houses. All the other houses are decked out for Xmas and yesterday evening one of the residents of the Close knocked on our door and asked when we were putting up our lights and intimated that that we were letting the other homeowners down by not doing so.

I dont want to publicisize the reasons why, since the person who murdered my bro has not been cauught. So what should I do ?

OP posts:
Headyhead · 02/12/2025 08:06

KatDa · 02/12/2025 07:55

I dont think that will satisfy the other residents. They are very tight knot community

Oh don’t be silly
you have just moved in

“my brother passed away around Christmas time and it’s a difficult time for the family so we’d rather not put up lights. Yours look lovely though”

Headyhead · 02/12/2025 08:05

Well what did do you when they were stood in your doorstep?

WinterBerry40 · 02/12/2025 08:00

I think I'd tell them you have your reasons and leave it at that . No need to say why .
My father died on 27th December ( quite a few years ago ) and that always hangs over our Christmas .

Justlostmybagel · 02/12/2025 07:56

KatDa · 02/12/2025 07:55

I dont think that will satisfy the other residents. They are very tight knot community

Doesn't matter, if it will satisfy them. It's none of their business.

FastTurtle · 02/12/2025 07:56

Specialagentblond · 02/12/2025 07:54

Perhaps say that Christmas is a painful time for you and ask them to respect your privacy. Then thank them in advance for their understanding.

This is a good answer.

KatDa · 02/12/2025 07:55

Justlostmybagel · 02/12/2025 07:54

Just say you don't celebrate Christmas.

I dont think that will satisfy the other residents. They are very tight knot community

OP posts:
Specialagentblond · 02/12/2025 07:54

Perhaps say that Christmas is a painful time for you and ask them to respect your privacy. Then thank them in advance for their understanding.

Justlostmybagel · 02/12/2025 07:54

Just say you don't celebrate Christmas.