To think stepparents should not be financially responsible for other people's children?

My my, this is so sad. Reducing parenting to who pays first what.

It's the parents who should move in and out of a property so the children can have one bedroom full time. They didn't ask to have their lives disrupted. They should stay put, let the parents be inconvenienced.

But what about the emotional side of it all? Particularly given their half sibling.

No one has said the step parent should take full responsibility but having it so clearly defined as biological and step parents can have a real emotional hit as well (see the stories on here)

Hell no, we have individual accounts and a joint for bills and savings for activities, birthdays, Xmas. Anything for his own come out of his personal account (unless we're doing like a day out together)

The step child may have two bio parents but they also have a split home and have to share their time between places at best -and are neglected a little by both sides in many cases

You’re married, you’re a family. You work together including financially. I HATE the attitude on MN that stepkids are just some despised random DCs who don’t merit any care or consideration.

If you don’t want to part of a family which includes DCs that aren’t biological yours then don’t! But then don’t get married and fuck up the lives of some poor DCs that didn’t ask you to be there in the first place.

whilst I don’t disagree that isn’t how a lot of people work and I would say you don’t seem capable of seeing that just because you do something one way means everyone does.

Some people marry people with children and take it all on - based on some threads on here some people become step mothers and take to much on!

In many ways it would be good if more people took the attitude of being prepared but you must see others do it differently

Was in reply to post
Newbutoldfather · Today 11:42
Another saying it depends.
If you are going to blend families, you can’t have some children immensely wealthier than other children, that is just cruel.
So, if there is a significant wealth discrepancy, you have the choice of keeping all children at the lower level or paying for your step children.

Which states you can't have some children immensely wealthier than the others

I have never personally known a single parent who has kids the majority of the time (so let’s be honest, mainly mums) have a full time job when the kids are young (I know some do), so if they want a boyfriend/husband to move in they will lose a lot of their benefits assuming the guy is working, so in that case the guy would have to contribute to the kids/most of the household expenses

Yes I get that. Indeed I think it is sensible to do so but it adds to the whole transactional nature of your relationship

and it makes me wonder if you don’t get the fact that some people don’t work like that they want to be all in - sometimes it doesn’t work and sometimes they clearly shouldn’t be but that is how life is

So your have drawn it up your husband has no rights to the house in which he lives?

If it was the Husband who was suddenly unable to financially provide, would you expect the bio mother to provide everything 100%?

yes but they chose to get married that is a choice and getting married comes with a set of legal benefits but also obligations

you understand that with being married yourself for example that your house he moved into it now a marital asset?

https://www.carterbells.co.uk/services/family-law/family-law-guides/rights-step-parent-divorce/

this is a good one that sums it up

You have misunderstood what I’m asking. I’m not expecting anything from anyone. I’m asking what happens if there isn’t any money coming in for the children. Would the ex husband, who is already co-parenting and supporting them, continue to do so. I wasn’t talking about the op but the kids. Take the time to read properly.

This is hands down the dumbest sh*t I've read. Is he going to invoice you and co-parent for their share of household bills every month? Of course a step oatent takes on some financial responsibility, what kind of psycopath divides their entire family expenses by each individual every month.

What the ‘role’ of a stepparent entails, if it you even consider it a role with duties at all, varies dramatically from person to person. As the one responsible for their child/ren, it’s up to the parent, if they want a partner willing to join finances and support their child/ren, to not date or marry someone that isn’t offering that. Which means making a point of having those conversations early on, not just assuming that a prospective spouse is of the same mind.

Despite the view that it must be impossible to maintain separate finances, many blended families do indeed do just that. Hell, many families do regardless of type.

My husband is not the biological father of my elder daughter, but has been in her life since before she can remember. We are a family and we are all financially in together. If his parents badly needed money, we would help them, if my siblings did, same thing. Our money is our money, and that equally includes all of our children. My husband is proud to provide for all of his children, and regards all our girls as his. I wouldn't have married him on any other basis. If a man wanted to spend 'his' money on one of our children and not the others that would be a very worrying indicator of his view of our family.