Curious situation...
Living with my very autistic gf for 6 years. Happily, no dramas, if a little sexless.
So from a clear blue sky she announces that she has feelings for another younger chap, who used to come with us to music events etc. I told her to choose, and was promptly booted out of her house so that she could 'begin to have sexual relations' with him.
A month or so of great upset later she asks me to come home and that was a couple of months ago. I put it all down to menopausal hormones and a nervous breakdown.
So there's two problems.
The first being that she insists upon still seeing this chap, goes to Carmarthen once a week and spends the day with him. Tells me that 'I have nothing to worry about'. Hmmmm.
The second is that I had a month to have a really good think about what I want from our relationship. A career for me (was a senior software engineer before I moved in with her) and some time with my friends in the North West along with much more physical intimacy. Trouble is I also had an inkling, a mere thought really at first... That I'd like to have more children. I had a nice midlife crisis many moons ago and ended up in Afghanistan so did not expect another one. Is is normal for 50 year old dudes to start feeling they'd like to have children? Or is that odd?
So the first problem became rather more acute a month ago when a packet of sanitary towels hit me on the head whilst opening the airing cupboard. Whilst putting them back I felt something lacy. Which turned out to be a very sexy and expensive red corset style bra with an invoice quite deliberately hidden. It was only two weeks old, I'd never seen it and it had a... stain on it. One which shone vividly under UV light.
So I insisted on knowing what the nature of their relationship was and she told me that he is a cross dresser who thinks that he should be a woman but can't due to his job in the police. She is merely counselling and helping him with childhood angsts and the like... Whilst helping him with his make up, lol.
Pull the other one, right?
Seems however this is at least partly true-ish. I've seen a couple of clothes tags for size 10 lingerie (my lass is a size 26) and one in particular from a company which specialises in fetish gear for sissy men!
So it seems most likely that she pursued him, then found out he was not entirely inclined to have a full relationship with her. Yet she goes to see him wearing lingerie, which she never wears for me, some of it also newly bought, I assume, as she's certainly wearing bras and the like I've never seen before.
She tells me that she isn't having sexual relations with him, and I do kinda believe her. In the same way that Bill Clinton merely shared a fascination with cigars with his intern, rather than full sexual relations. There's clearly something going on, though not something she'd give up a proper relationship for?
So whilst I've never looked at another woman whilst in my current relationship is it unreasonable to keep an eye out for possibilities? I don't mean Tindering or whatnot, just having an open mind to finding someone else and moving on. Accepting advances or making some new female friends etc?
She knows how I feel about her 'other boyfriend' but tries to manage my feelings, which is something I find insufferable. Each time I've tried to talk to her she's said something which completely contradicts prior conversations.
So should I just leave her for being unfaithful and dishonest? Or is it reasonable to court a new relationship first?