DP putting his foot in it when meeting my friends for first time

If I was making harmless small talk with a man I'd just met and he said something overtly and graphically sexual in response, I would walk away and never want anything to do with that man again. If he was a friend's boyfriend, I would be warning her off. I have made all kinds of social faux pas and been clumsy in my wording, but detailing a particular sex act I've enjoyed on special occasions to a stranger is not and never would be one of them. There's being awkward and a bit inept, and then there's being a massive creep. This one falls into the latter category!

If your friend was saying that Christmas was so full on that by evening all she was capable of was sleeping and he remarked that his ex wanted to do a certain sex act at that time rather than sleep, then I wouldn’t dump him for. Whilst it may not have been the best thing to say it’s hardly horrific or any kind of red flag and certainly not worth breaking up for. People can be so self righteous on here at times, you’d think they’d never said something they wished they hadn’t.

You are lucky that you have found out so early that he is a drink-driving creep.

That kind of ‘banter’ would be the kind of talk some men say to each other but the fact that he said it to your female friend who he should have been doing his utmost to create a good impression out of respect for you, shows a creepy and immature side to him.

Is he going to start talking about blow jibs in front of your mother?

I don’t think you know this chap very well after all.

Wow! You must have felt so proud of your new DP after that meet-up!

Ditch him. He’s gross.

You 100% need to bin him off. Apart from
disgusting out of context oversharing, he’s a drunk driver as that would defo put him over the limit

It absolutely is an issue. A couple of pints would put him over the limit.

This.
Honestly OP, it's a huge red flag on loads of levels, not least a whiff of coercive sex.

🤢

Your friend told you because she doesn’t like him and doesn’t think you should be with him - but is too polite to say.

Inappropriate jokes about sex acts. Drink driving. Where did you find him? The 1970s?

You barely know him. You’ve got nothing to lose. Keep your options - and your eyes - open.

I remember at Junior School we used to have to write an essay on "What I Did Over Christmas', but it tended to 'made an snowman' and 'watched Morecambe and Wise.'

Being nervous in company that you are meeting for the first time usually involves being quiet or talking about the weather.

I have never, ever, never , ever heard a man talking about about sex acts -I presume he meant anal sex- with anyone in public.

If you swallow that , you're a fool.

If he gets a new boss at work and is nervous, is he going to start talking about anal sex? No.

If you are foolish enough to marry him and he is nervous giving a wedding speech is he going to talk about anal sex? No

If he is interviewed by the police for something and is nervous, is he going to start talking about anal sex? No

He meets your female friend though and his nerves lead him to start speaking about this. He was not nervous, he was trying to pick her p and this passes for a pick up line in his world.

I am surprised that you need to ask Mumsnet...any passing 10 year old could have told you what's going on here.

This. He was cracking a joke/trying to be funny. Pitched it wrongly for your crowd. He knows you're not impressed. Move on - though if he continues to make you feel uncomfortable you can obviously decide you are incompatible.
I think your friend is strange to feel she needs to report this one off bad attempt at humour, to you.

Dump. 3.4% still puts you over the limit. Foul way to speak to your friends. No class at all.

Yeah that's nasty. Would give me the ick. How quickly he jumps to talk about specific sex acts with someone he just met. Wonder what he tells his actual friends about your sex life. And the hint of fond reminiscing about his ex when he is talking to his current gf's friends? Nope.

3 bottles of old mout cider can put someone failing a breathalyser so be aware, best not to drink and drive.

Was he alone with this friend when he said it? Or in a group?

I would find this off putting and dump him I’m afraid.

LTB, he doesn't know how to behave around women he has only just met. Yuck.

Ugh god what woman would want that on Christmas day?

Even having a couple of pints and driving would put me off, never mind talking about sex acts with ex when been with you 10 months to your friends.

He may well be. If you’re fixed on the word ‘allow’ then it sounds more like this but that’s also just sometimes how people talk. But I’d don’t think it’s unusual to do something different/ special on an occasion. There’s a whole song about birthday sex.

Oh, come on…

he basically told one of my friends that his ex would ‘allow’ a specific sex act at Christmas and on his Birthday.

At best he’s a guy who pushes boundaries.

So gross!! So he’s a creep and/or can’t read a room. And he’s absolutely going to use your sex life in anecdotes at some future point.

Sorry OP this would give me the ick!

Here