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AIBU?

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I’m finally brave enough to get a restraining order… BUT

35 replies

NeedingASafeSpace · 01/12/2025 19:34

He is threatening me with all sorts.

he’s saying how I’ll lose my kids. How he can prove that I abused him in front of his children. How he’s going to tell my council I stayed at his place while I am living in temporary accommodation (he pressured me to as he accused me of texting other men when I stayed alone). He was screaming down a voice note saying how I’ll cause loads of “shit” he text my dad saying “sort your daughter out before she causes shit”. I told him he cannot discuss our DS amicably without trying to control me (he rang me and told me how he’s so over me and has had anal sex with a woman and slept with others since me when there was no mention of anything to do with us and I tried to only talk about my son) he tried dictating to me when he would have my son and I my son isn’t even 2. I can’t deal with this. He harasses my dads phone about me and slanders me on social media calling me controlling when it’s him who’s the big bully!
finally I have snapped and told him he cannot discuss our take me to court to see our son. He lost it(his temper)
I told him how he’s had physically attacked me in front of my son screamed at me in front of him and ripped my things from my hands etc showing him that’s acceptable and I am not having it. I said he’s out of control and I want him no where near my son. He’s threatening me so much.

OP posts:
analysetheintelligence · 02/12/2025 07:40

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 01/12/2025 21:42

How bloody unhelpful, dangerous and WRONG. What's your problem?!

I’m not sure it is wrong though? I’ve also known this to happen, it’s realistic to say that whilst an order is worth having, things can still be difficult afterwards.

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 02/12/2025 01:55

NeedingASafeSpace · 01/12/2025 21:35

I can’t help but wonder if my son going to hate me for cutting his dad out?

You make the decision that's safest for your son. He won't benefit from being exposed to the harm caused by his father.

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 01/12/2025 21:42

hattie43 · 01/12/2025 19:46

Restraining orders don’t work . These men are so deranged with anger they ignore them . Everytime the person I knew who had one called the police to say he’d been around threatening and damaging the house all they said was she needs proof / evidence. It was really hard and she lived in fear .

How bloody unhelpful, dangerous and WRONG. What's your problem?!

NeedingASafeSpace · 01/12/2025 21:35

I can’t help but wonder if my son going to hate me for cutting his dad out?

OP posts:
NeedingASafeSpace · 01/12/2025 21:33

IThinkPink · 01/12/2025 21:32

Tell your dad to block his number
remove him from your social media
stop engaging with him
let him take you to court
claim child maintenance
get your home as secure as you can

and get that restraining order!!

ive told my dad to block
he isn’t in my social media he’s blocked but im being told about his posts
he said he won’t take me to court (he’d never get access he’s too much of a criminal)
he’s threatened to turn up at my flat but he can’t get in the secured building thankfully. I’m genuinely scared he got to escalate.

OP posts:
IThinkPink · 01/12/2025 21:32

Tell your dad to block his number
remove him from your social media
stop engaging with him
let him take you to court
claim child maintenance
get your home as secure as you can

and get that restraining order!!

thetallfairy · 01/12/2025 21:27

hattie43 · 01/12/2025 19:46

Restraining orders don’t work . These men are so deranged with anger they ignore them . Everytime the person I knew who had one called the police to say he’d been around threatening and damaging the house all they said was she needs proof / evidence. It was really hard and she lived in fear .

Hang on

It's the right course of action here

Do it OP

Block

Avoid

You do not need to be in contact with this pos

Solicitor for contact only

So sorry xxxxxxx

TheSandgroper · 01/12/2025 21:25

A huge well done for finding the strength to take action. Please keep putting one foot in front of another.

If he is like this, can you make a few preparations beforehand about your personal security? A recording doorbell, replacement locks etc. Someone to move
in for a few days?

Anyway, your very first job is to tell yourself today and every day from now on is “I’m not believing a word he says. Just because he yells something, doesn’t mean it’s true “.

hattie43 · 01/12/2025 19:46

Restraining orders don’t work . These men are so deranged with anger they ignore them . Everytime the person I knew who had one called the police to say he’d been around threatening and damaging the house all they said was she needs proof / evidence. It was really hard and she lived in fear .

Devilsmommy · 01/12/2025 19:43

Definitely get the restraining order. Abusive twats like that don't give a shit about their kids. It's all about trying to control you, which it seems like you know that. Log every single call, text, voice note so you've got evidence for the police of all the threats. Don't let him scare you into backing down. And well done for getting away from him and keeping your little one safe😊