DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

I was joking about the poo particles. I still think it’s extremely rude and bad mannered to let rip in company. Like I said there are two types of people when it comes to what is acceptable behaviour, those who think they have the right to fart wherever they like and those like me who would take myself of to the bathroom or at least a different room.

And they are capable of not doing this normally, according to OP.

Even just a simple "Oh, I'm so sorry" would have been a big improvement. Nobody gets upset at an accidental wind break and an excuse me.

Unfortunately, mumsnet always had a solid core of people who are utterly obsessed with farting and determined to pretend that farting repeatedly anywhere and everywhere is no big deal and just hilarious.

They always show up to pretend that being a disgusting pig with no manners is normal, expected and reasonable.

And not one of them behaves like this in real life.

I have IBS but I can certainly avoid (and do avoid) free-farting in company. I can't imagine engaging in "dualing trumpets" while I guest in someone's home (including family member's homes), nor would I host someone who thought that appropriate.

They're a pair of pigs and you're not being unreasonable at all. It's a bit awkward for your DH to be put in this position, but he's going to teach his mother and sister basic manners.

What the fuck have I just read?

So OP cooks for them and then has to hear and smell them fart it all out 🤮

People can only bear certain people's farts, it's scientifically proven. I can bear my DH's but not his family's.

I think you’re being absolutely ridiculous and very very unreasonable. They farted for goodness sake - they didn’t insult you, damage anything, crap on the sofa or cause a mess! Everyone farts and thankfully most people aren’t quite as uptight as you about a perfectly normal bodily function. It’s only on Mumsnet when people are told they should leave the room or go to the lavatory if they want to break wind - in real life most people don’t have time to choose to leave the room to fart. Many people fart quite robustly after turkey and sprouts, so just buy some nice Christmassy room spray and don’t to such a misery.

Both can be done in private

Apparently being a selfish, disgusting fuckwit is normal to some people.

Probably because they're two completely different things?

JFC

Don't forget a thorough description of underwear after an evening of farting

It's amazing how many of the furiously anti-flatulence people on this thread seem to be far, far more obsessively fascinated by every biological and sensory detail of farts than the people who can tolerate the occasional post-prandial parp.

Honestly, I'm starting to think the anti-fart brigade doth protest too much. I swear to god there must be full-on fart fetishists who talk about it in less detail than the average fart-opposed Mumsnetter.

They can avoid shitting in public, but not farting?

this tickled me!!! As we have banned farting in the living room is the rest of the house fair game? Also what is the penalty if they break the no farting in the living room?
op I had really really bad indigestion during pregnancy- in fact I didnt even have to eat but it was like awful gas stuck in my throat. All the time even when I slep..I saw a gastrointestinal specialist and he said I had to to suck it up for the duration of the pregnancy as aside from omezerprole nothing else he could give me. Some things can’t be helped. But I understand it put you off. No advice really but it’s the kinda of thread that cheered me up

I'd be honoured that my ILs felt comfortable enough to let rip in front of me

I couldn't do it lol

And what do you think your children will learn from that?

If my husband invites people for dinner then he cooks, I don't care if they fart or not.

People farting repeatedly around me makes me want to vomit, the stench is unbearable, I would definitely have had to leave.

We all have our moments, but it is normal and decent to simply apologise when you break wind. I have IBS and a few other digestive issues, and sometimes my stomach goes a bit nuts, on those occasions I go to the toilet until things have calmed down. At minimum I apologise.

I consider what I am eating if I have to travel or am visiting other people, because I am not a selfish, disgusting fuckwit.

Being a selfish, digusting fuckwit might be funny to other selfish, disgusting fuckwits, or small children, but I absolutely guarantee they would not have sat there in a cloud of noisy stench repeatedly breaking wind if they were in a work meeting or with someone they wanted to impress.

But again, the real problem is your husband.

I’d be disgusted too , I’d have told them to go and have a shit

Hahaha, love the mental image, I think it's vuvuzela, that would be amazing 😂

So nut jobs, who don't realize clothes completely contain all the particles, even in sterile labs. Scientists have literally tested this. Its completely safe to particles in a sterile environment. It doesn't affect anything.

Oh I know, it's absolutely insane sometimes.

I’d get a vuvuzeya (sp?!) then! Every time they fart blow it and count! Totes hilaire of course so they’ll love it…

I am postmenopausal and somehow have managed not to let rip in front of others - I would be embarrassed to do it in front of ILs or DP. Obviously farting is natural but for guests to sit unapologetically tooting away is just rude. Her children may have found it funny but OP didn't, she just had to tolerate it in her own house. To me it sounds deliberately rude and pointed. It sounds, from OP's posts, as though she provided a selection of foods and they helped themselves to the 'dodgy' ones - so set themselves up.

Sometimes I think I have gone into a parallel universe on MN

Sounds perfectly fair, they're being disgusting fuckwits on purpose, no need to be around disgusting fuckwits ever again. But your real problem is your husband.

My sibling married into non farters.
Not sure how two complete opposites have managed tbh.
Sibling has never heard spouse fart, sibling makes a habit of sharing theirs freely 😂

Personally I think yabu.
Are you willing to withhold your children from their relatives because of wind? Seriously? That seems more unhinged than farting......

I have digestive issues, caused by bowel surgery. I can suffer from excessive wind. However, when this threatens I take Wind Settler gel caps. This settles the wind very quickly. Perhaps mil and sil might like to try them. You should be able to buy them in your local pharmacy or supermarket