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DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

661 replies

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:10

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 02/12/2025 23:06

You just need to tell thwm. You're welcome to come but please don't fart. Go to the bathroom if you need to .... Your DH needs to lead on this

loganrock · 02/12/2025 22:57

They sound absolutely revolting. I can fart with the best of them but I manage to take myself off somewhere private to do it! It’s just basic good manners.

givemesteel · 02/12/2025 22:46

It sounds like you have married someone of a different social class and with very different values.

I'd be interested in what these other redeeming qualities are.

Funnywonder · 02/12/2025 22:40

I know it’s a perfectly natural bodily function, but I would hate this. If someone lets a fart slip out as a one off it can be funny, but people keeping on parping away on my furniture would really irritate me. And I’m hyper sensitive to smells🤢 I would still have the IL’s for Christmas, but have an honest conversation about which elements of the food could have caused this and maybe make some adjustments. You don’t have to mention farts - just show some concern for their dodgy tums.

Rooroobear · 02/12/2025 22:36

Nah, fuck that shit. He can cook. Stop being soft on him. He cooks or you eat basic food like pizzas etc. why should you do it all while he tells you “your shit doesn’t stink” off he fucks into the kitchen, I’d be sat happily drinking my bucks fizz

notallwhowanderare · 02/12/2025 22:29

Goldencoast2 · 02/12/2025 21:48

Yeah, I just wouldn’t be cooking anything for them.

Many mumsnet posters seem to think though that expecting people to behave with basic manners is “prudish.”

I’m assuming they wouldn’t behave like this in a workplace or a restaurant, and I’ve never understood why strangers deserve to be treated with more respect and care than your own family.

Yep. None of the "oooh farting is so funny hee hee hee hee - oooh don't be so uptight!" posters have ever just sat there ignorantly and repeatedly farting with no attempt to stop or apologise.

It is absolutely basic manners not to this. Everyone knows this, regardless of the usual suspects claims.

Todayismyfavouriteday · 02/12/2025 22:29

I can't believe that so many adults seem to believe it's ok to fart in front of others. It's disgusting, gross, and terrible manners. I would never want them back in my home.

Calloja23 · 02/12/2025 22:28

For for goodness sake, don’t give them sprouts with their Christmas dinner or they will be 10 times worse.

Personally, I think this is very unladylike and uncouth behaviour in someone else’s home. I would be inclined to have a word with them prior to Christmas..

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 02/12/2025 22:27

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 22:14

Then step outdoors.

I have lactose intolerance, a pork intolerance, and serious digestive disorders. I'd be spending the whole day outside. No. Its natural and normal to fart. Just do your best to make it silent like you did in school.

mildlysweaty · 02/12/2025 22:24

thats vile - I’m with you OP

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 02/12/2025 22:15

notallwhowanderare · 02/12/2025 21:19

@Gardener82 The person you are quoting calls anyone who says anything reasonable that they disagree with a "nut job". They have had posts deleted for it before. They're just trolling.

Edited

Nope. Never had anything deleted. I'm sure you have though.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 22:14

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 02/12/2025 22:13

It's not something you can hold in without serious pain. Nor should you need to.

Then step outdoors.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 22:14

DetectiveDouche · 02/12/2025 21:59

Oh it's just farting! I mean I fart like a trumpet, especially since the menopause but admittedly wouldn't do it publicly in my in-laws' house.. but if mine did it in mine I'd probably just suck it up.. so to speak. There are so many genuinely huge things in life to be stressed over and problems for families to fall out over. I couldn't be doing the latter over this.

It’s the contempt for OP that is the “huge thing” here.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 02/12/2025 22:13

notallwhowanderare · 02/12/2025 20:57

Apparently being a selfish, disgusting fuckwit is normal to some people.

It's not something you can hold in without serious pain. Nor should you need to.

Redpeach · 02/12/2025 22:12

ThisLittlePony · 02/12/2025 22:10

Or copulating on the table? It’s natural innit..

A wee wank between courses

ThisLittlePony · 02/12/2025 22:10

Redpeach · 02/12/2025 22:08

How about a bit of fanny scratching whilst theyre at it

Or copulating on the table? It’s natural innit..

Blogswife · 02/12/2025 22:10

It’s disgusting . I wouldn’t want to spend my Christmas afternoon breathing in their revolting fumes . I’d tell DH to book for you all to go to the pub then you can enjoy Christmas in your home fart - free

Redpeach · 02/12/2025 22:08

How about a bit of fanny scratching whilst theyre at it

AprilinPortugal · 02/12/2025 22:05

Mansionscoldandgrey · 01/12/2025 19:11

Team DC here.
Farting is funny 😁

Pretending to fart, like I do to wind the dog up, is funny but the smell? 🤢

DetectiveDouche · 02/12/2025 21:59

Oh it's just farting! I mean I fart like a trumpet, especially since the menopause but admittedly wouldn't do it publicly in my in-laws' house.. but if mine did it in mine I'd probably just suck it up.. so to speak. There are so many genuinely huge things in life to be stressed over and problems for families to fall out over. I couldn't be doing the latter over this.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 02/12/2025 21:57

I had a friend do this once. Its different if it is one or two. But it was constant, sounded like a herd of bloody elephants and I feared for the wellbeing of the chair he was sat on. He also found it hilarious. It pissed me off - not that it was happening, but his total lack of regard for how it might be affecting anyone around him.

I see a large bottle of windeze under the tree for those two.

Goldencoast2 · 02/12/2025 21:48

Yeah, I just wouldn’t be cooking anything for them.

Many mumsnet posters seem to think though that expecting people to behave with basic manners is “prudish.”

I’m assuming they wouldn’t behave like this in a workplace or a restaurant, and I’ve never understood why strangers deserve to be treated with more respect and care than your own family.

MrsChristmasCat · 02/12/2025 21:30

I agree competitive farting is pretty childish but sorry op you sound ridiculously uptight.
farting in front of your children - do they not know people fart?
You are very lucky yo be rarely gassy, I have (diagnosed) digestive issues. It can be really embarrassing and really uncomfortable.

Redpeach · 02/12/2025 21:28

I'd put on 'Gone with the wind' for them, and then i'd fuck off down the pub

notallwhowanderare · 02/12/2025 21:19

@Gardener82 The person you are quoting calls anyone who says anything reasonable that they disagree with a "nut job". They have had posts deleted for it before. They're just trolling.