DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

I certainly would! And how do you get far enough in time?

I think the children would find it even funnier if they kept going outside the room and letting out real rip snorters before coming back in again and sitting down demurely as if nothing had happened 🤣🤣

Same here.

I’m 62 and SO tired of people using “peri” and “meno” to avoid responsibility.

🤣🤣

Did she do so for an hour, while laughing and doing nothing to be discreet, or sit and relish in it while children find it hilarious?

Say what? Bugger all has changed in that respect for me, so I’d challenge this claim.

It's a bit like swearing in front of kids if there's no 'excuse me' after.

It's rude, disrespectful and gross but I still wouldn't ban them from Christmas. I would ask dp to tell them that you'd like them to say excuse me after each one to set the correct example for the children.
Or you could serve dinner at the very end of the evening so that they can do their farting once they've gone home.

It literally says in the first post that they have stomach problems. Plus they have proved it with the farting! i really disagree that that’s normal response, if you get super windy after specific foods it means you have food intolerances.

My mum has a serious bowel condition, and I’m sorry but I couldn’t care less if she broke wind after her dinner, she’s my mum and she’s got an illness.

Id let your husband go to theirs and let you have a miserable day by yourself.

As quite a windy person myself I can understand them not wanting to hold it in. It causes real pain if you hold it in. However, if they know it upsets you then they should be polite enough to leave the room. I wouldn't stop them coming at Christmas but make it very clear you'll not accept public farting in the living area & ask them to leave the room & not make a big thing about it in front of the kids.

Presumably they are there for the socializing, not to gobble up as much food as possible. The OP isn’t required to alter the entire menu; they can restrict themselves to small portions.

There is no indication these women have medical issues; they are having normal digestive responses to a large meal but choosing to be performative about it rather than being discreet.

And those charcoal-lined anti-flatulence underwear.

I would give them wind relief tablets and peppermints as a Xmas gift. If they find farting funny they should laugh at this

Why dont you have dinner in the garden🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP have either of you though about having a conversation requesting them not to fart like??

I understand they can't help it but i would also find it disgusting. Not a reason to uninvite imo. I'd (your DP) have a conversation or get him to send a text requesting them to not openly fart as it's off putting and bad example for the kids.

I agree with this.

Of course the "pull my finger" type gag is disgusting, but wind is something that is a ubiquitous reality of life and just has to be coped with - both by farter and fartee.

I wouldn't eat things on purpose that make me fart, and even within our immediate family we mostly (mostly) all try not to fart audibly. However I certainly wouldn't run out of a meeting every time I needed to, unless I actually "got wind" of the impression that I was about to follow through or something.

But none of us have particular gastro-intestinal issues that are putting this system under pressure. I guess people who do might develop a more relaxed attitude and after all you are family - even if there may be other tensions there.

And that last comment is, I suspect, the issue here op. I thought at first this was a rather slight thread about a trivial issue, but in fact your DH's attitudes are really, really off. My gut (sorry: my brain has the gastro "file" out) is that there are deeper issues that are making you feel the fart scenario is more insulting to you than it would were things on a better footing.

In answer to your questions

1. I’m not suggesting that people should, or are, farting ‘at will’, but that if you need to fart, most normal people don’t have the option to get up from their seat, leave the room, and go to the nearest lavatory.

2.Yes of course I would fart if I needed to in a meeting. I would try to let it out quietly to avoid disrupting things but I would not be able to sit in a meeting for two hours while holding a fart in. I often hear people break wind in meetings, or smell the evidence. In my job, I would not be able to leave the room during a meeting - I have never done so in 25 years in my role and am not going to start now if I need to expel a little bit of wind.
3.I would completely understand if a waiter or waitress emitted a fart while they were serving me.

@BringBackCatsEyeswell yes if the OP didn’t know about the intolerances then it’s not her fault. But it seems like she did because they told her “well you know eating that makes it flare up.”

They won’t be intolerant to “a sunday roast” anyway, it will be individual ingredients which the OP chose to add to the food unnecessarily. Why not just make the roast but exclude their triggers? That’s the point i was making about eg adding butter if they’re lactose intolerant, or adding wheat flour to the gravy if they’re gluten intolerant. Just substitute them for something else, rather than expecting your guests to sit there unable to eat half the meal.

OP informed her guests she would be cooking a roast. I think it was then up to the guests to politely inform the host of their dietary needs. You don't just accept the meal knowing it will trigger whatever condition and then blame the host, or (what her guests did) laugh it off and proceed to fart for an hour.

it’s been eye opening to me how many people think it’s fine to include ingredients that make their guests ill when hosting. why bother hosting at all if you are just making food that you want without considering the needs of others.

do they expect their guests to sit at the side nibbling on a lettuce while everyone else tucks into the vegetables laced in lactose, or the meat drenched in gluten-gravy. Before reading this thread I would have assumed most people would consider that exclusionary and rude.

Maybe, but I'm pretty sure they're not sitting around openly farting for an hour as a guest in someone else's home.
There is a big different.

Me too.

Or at the very least suddenly having flu Christmas morning and unable to get up.

Does he have any redeemable qualities at all?

If he won't cook then I would be tempted to nod along, buy nothing and let him sort it out. Book yourself lunch out. They're disgusting