DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

Then tell him to enjoy hosting, cooking and cleaning up as you and the kids are going out for lunch that day. And then follow through.
I really, really hate it when someone uses the "I pay more than you" to get their way. They conveniently "forget" how little they do to make these events happen. Now, he can learn!

I’m not actively trying to offend anyone but some things cannot be helped, I can only comment on what I have witnessed. Since moving to the UK, I am shocked at how common this sort of behaviour is. Particularly from women, I have learnt recently there is a term for this behaviour; ladette.

In my home country, we do not have such Ladette culture. But regardless of gender, in my culture farting excessively in a performative manner and laughing in someone else’s home, man or woman, is the height of disrespect. But here so often such things are seen as funny, and you are labelled as prudish? (As seen on this thread) Are standards here really so low?

I am not speaking for all British people of course, I have many lovely friends who are like minded. But I’m shocked at the low class behaviour and lack of manners. It all appears to be from a certain calibre of people, who have a particular way of speaking.

OP you sound like a classy lady. You are not the problem. As another poster said; you married down.

🤣🤣. I live in quite a large house and the front and back doors are not within easy reach of the dining room.

Dear God, do it! Call their bluff. Let them all sit in the pub eating shite and you prepare dinner for people who can control themselves.

Call the bluff and let them go to the pub. If they do it, great! They'll learn for next year. Or they can take the feedback onboard like adults.

Dear God, the level of lunatic belief here is mindboggling.
These two dames haven't been presented as disabled anywhere at all by OP, just unwilling to behave with any self-control as guests.

I really don't believe that the population at large views enthusiastic farting like this as socially acceptable, unless the farter is indeed known in the family to be suffering almost Blue Badge-meriting, officially diagnosed and foods-limiting gastric problems.
Normal post-sprouts gas is a not sufficiently urgent problem for this ‘Screw you’ attitude from OP’s in laws, and on their first bloody visit as well!

Stairs are a really bad idea with wind, as is bending over.

I've never much suffered from wind, but the other day I bent down to wipe up a spill and was really glad to be alone. Hadn't thought about blaming peri till I read this thread. Anyway, it's made me more open-minded.

Yes, please leave the room to belch. Not interested in hearing others’ eruptions.

if a house is that small, the door to the garden or front should be handily within reach.

Oh give over. How long have you been waiting to find something to be offended about? OP was clearly implying her SIL is greedy. If your first thought is that she must be fat then that's on you!

That depends on the house surely. I don’t have a downstairs toilet and wouldn’t expect anyone to e able to hold their wind in long enough to leave the room and go upstairs. Besides which, I don’t see why anyone should leave the room to fart - or do people on Mumsnet think they should also leave the room to belch? Wjat ablut hiccuping?

She said nothing about size or weight.

Wow, nice bit of fat shaming there OP 🤨 I was on your side but that’s a disgusting comment, nothing ‘respectful’ about it! You should be ashamed of yourself

I’m pretty sure they’re not 6 month old babies and don’t need to be ‘fed’ ffs! They’re grown adults. They knew what their triggers are and still ate it IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOME!

Don't be so personal. Perhaps she can't.

Some people are very ableist when it comes to farting.

Surely if you can avoid shitting yourself, you can avoid blatant farting

Just go to the loo surely?

That’s revolting 🤢 They KNEW it would happen yet still went ahead.. YADNBU just foul I’d have asked them to leave or left myself with the DC.

Not using the menopause as an excuse, but as you get older flatulence becomes more difficult to control in all situations e.g. if moving, dancing etc. Explanation, not excuse.

Yes, there is. No humour on MN at all, sadly. OP's IL's seem impervious to shame. She could squirt freshener at them. They might go home.

Google "the Vanvera."

Absolutely.
If he wants the farters to come to dinner, he can provide it.

Send them over a pack of these:

https://www.independence.ltd.uk/incontinence/sundries/flatulence-pad.htm#

How much does she even know about their self-declared intolerances though, since this seems to be the first time in the relationship with OH that she has eaten a meal at home with them; not only her own place but in theirs too?
When has she had occasion to absorb this info?

I must say I’m astonished by the generous reactions in this thread, since to me the husband’s family sound like a herd of trogs I’d go a long way to evade, starting with him.
I don’t think digestive issues, real or mere conveneince, are the real issue st all.

So what if he laughs off your suggestion that he should do more of the domestic work.
Just stop doing it, if he doesn't pick up the slack make sure he's the one that suffers.

Both of these are reasonable suggestions.