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DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

661 replies

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:10

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

OP posts:
Doseofreality · 01/12/2025 18:17

Let them come for dinner but put large signs around the house saying “Flatulence Free Zone”, slap a bit of tinsel on them to make the more festive:
Drink several bottles of Prosecco during dinner and proceed to follow them around the house with several cans of air freshener.

Octavia64 · 01/12/2025 18:17

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:14

I didn’t put anything in their mouths. They self served what they wanted and didn’t care for the consequences.

I mean my mil might say similar but what was on offer was a lasagna and salad and salad is not a meal.

what I mean is have you actually had a conversation with them about what sets off their stomach problems so that this can be avoided?

or just let them go to the pub.

either works.

I’d have been delighted if mil suggested eating out.

Randomlygeneratedname · 01/12/2025 18:17

I couldn't imagine being this uptight, I'd be joining the giggles with the kids and not letting it take up anymore of my brain space.

snoopythebeagle · 01/12/2025 18:16

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:14

I didn’t put anything in their mouths. They self served what they wanted and didn’t care for the consequences.

As the host, you should be aware of their intolerances and alter your menu accordingly.

RaininSummer · 01/12/2025 18:16

Are they eating the wrong foods if they have such intolerances? It's rather difficult to ban them if they are actual medical conditions.

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:14

Octavia64 · 01/12/2025 18:13

Did you feed them stuff they are intolerant to?

I’m like that if I eat any dairy products. Easy solution is that people don’t feed me dairy.

I didn’t put anything in their mouths. They self served what they wanted and didn’t care for the consequences.

OP posts:
KimHwn · 01/12/2025 18:14

MN can be weirdly prudish about farting. There will be someone along to tell you all about poo particles soon. But I wouldn't be bothered about this, and to take back an invite for Christmas is unkind, I think. You could always keep the invite open but tell them beforehand that you'd prefer any breaking wind to be done in the bathroom.

twoshedsjackson · 01/12/2025 18:13

He's already come up with an alternative, and "offered" to take them for a pub lunch.
Accept cheerfully as a positive solution; wait for the back-pedalling.
I suspect that they will be more circumspect about their flatulence in a public setting, as well.

Octavia64 · 01/12/2025 18:13

Did you feed them stuff they are intolerant to?

I’m like that if I eat any dairy products. Easy solution is that people don’t feed me dairy.

Brefugee · 01/12/2025 18:12

i would say they can come but the farting is not to be done in the living room.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 01/12/2025 18:12

I’m sure they can’t help farting! No reason at all to cancel Christmas!