DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

If you MUST have them,
I would have my Christmas Diner on Christmas Eve, and/or Boxing day

and serve lean fish and courgette for lunch, something as light as their stomach as possible, and give a pizza to the kids.

If DH has an opinion, he's welcome to cook the entire meal instead.

I couldn’t put up with excessive farting. The stench from 2 people openly doing it must be horrible.

OP, as I said previously I have stomach issues, and certain foods play havoc with me, and on top I have an intolerance to onion, garlic, leeks, mustard, black pepper. I would absolutely agree with the poster suggesting a walk after lunch, it helps digestion but also helps to push wind out!! Also ask if there are foods you shouldn't cook. I can't eat sprouts, very little cabbage/cauliflower.

I wouldn't tell them they can't come - don't do sprouts

When I first started reading this, I thought the situation was going to be that you've recently moved into a new home and you have limited space and you really can't add more people to your table as a hostess, comfortably....

But instead, the problem is that your mother-in-law and sister-in-law have digestive issues, and you feel that they fart too much.
And because of this, you're going to uninvite them for Christmas.
Wow. Wasn't exactly expecting that.

So how would this be any different if you went to their house for a meal or if you went to a restaurant? I would assume they would be tooting just as much in their own house because after all, it's their home, and a restaurant you'd probably be mortified at the audible flatulence...

So, should you just be serving them a meal with clear broth and a chaser of Pepto-Bismol? Or give them a pillow to sit on post dessert so that their farts will be muffled?
Not really sure what the answer is but, kind of gross to be around people who think tooting is a form of entertainment and are so comfortable with it that they don't even think twice about it but, you also don't want to be in sensitive to people who have medical issues. It's a fine line.

I have every sympathy in the world for people who have medical problems that they have had to deal with and issues that we would considered to be embarrassing they have no choice but to live with daily (I've had many friends who have had to where catheters or stoma bags, who have had to wear adult diapers, who have had severe mobility and coordination issues so they end up spilling all over themselves... These are horribly embarrassing for those of us who are able-bodied and healthy, but have become a part of daily life for people with problems...
But on the other hand I've known a lot of people, usually men, who seem to find amusement and entertainment in flatulence, they seem to think nothing about settling in and ripping off a big stinky toot, and there's nothing physically wrong with them, they're just juvenile in their behavior and, that I don't think should be acceptable in most social situations. But how do you know where to draw the line between rudeness and acceptance because of medical issue? You already said that they have stomach problems so, okay. This may be unavoidable for them.

At least your young children found this situation to be hilariously entertaining, so that's something.

yes, because it's normal to have guests burping and farting proudly😂

The standards of some people are shockingly low.

Could you and/or your DP be arsed to try serving them up a trial low FODMAP roast dinner?

Meat, gravy without any onion or garlic powder, limited greens (definitely no cabbage, leek, sprouts etc), some potatoes and carrots with seasoning and thyme. Then see what happens?

What exactly were they eating before Fartgate??

ETA: sorry, OP, missed the boat on your updates - reading now!

Absolutely revolting.

I can't comprehend people being so rude and obnoxious - no respect for you or your home. I bet they behave when they have a job interview or something important.

I would tell DH he's welcome to take them to the pub, but in the future, I would never invite them again.

The idea of a walk is not a bad one, but people like that am sure are lazy and will come up with an excuse not to move from their lazy backside.

Good luck, you can't choose your in-laws but yours sound especially dreadful.

God, how disgusting. And ill mannered. But he has presented you with the perfect solution. Off he goes to the pub with his uncouth family then.

You can stay at home and eat Christmas lunch with your dcs, in your fragrant unpolluted new home.

It doesn't sound like he is any great loss.

My mother has problems with excess wind due to various medical problems. She is super embarrassed by it and tries to pretend its not happening. If she apologised everytime she would be excusing herself constantly.

How about you all go for a nice walk after lunch to get all the wind out of their systems in less enclosed surroundings?! Upon your return, DH, DMIL and DSIL can clear up in the kitchen (allowing them the opportunity to rid themselves of any residual gas) while you relax with the DCs.

God this is what I have to look forward to at Christmas to op.
There seems to be two types of people…
Those like my husband’s mum and dad who think it’s perfectly acceptable to fart and burp away in the front room, no fucks given.
Or like me you think it’s gross and can practically imagine the poo particles landed in my homemade trifle.
I HATE it but it’s not enough to not invite them to Christmas.
Just to add my children have not followed there grandparents example, they think it’s gross to.

Gosh, I couldn’t cope in such an uptight family. We just make a joke of it and move on.

YANBU. I know a lot of people with digestive issues (myself included). We either avoid the things that make us react and/or step out of the room into the bathroom if our insides are misbehaving.

My only concession to this is if you cooked them a lot of food you know they're intolerant to and they felt they had no option to eat it then maybe this was their not-so-subtle way of saying you should be more accommodating in your cooking.

Fucking hell, that's revolting and I'm not uptight about people farting in front of their partners. You can't uninvite them but you can tell them to go out of the room to fart at Christmas.

I don't think you can uninvite them at this stage. Buy them both those charcoal pants and draw a map to the designated farting zone.

That's disgusting.
Tell your DH to go to the pub as he wants - you'll indeed see the backpedaling.
If he doesn't insist they'll come take yourself to a friend/ your parents.

Nah, sorry but thats rank 🤑

Have you asked them if there are certain foods they need to avoid?

I suffer with stomach issues, but I don't sit in front of my in-laws farting. I'd go off to the toilet and fart in there. Unfortunately, once a food upsets the stomach, it can cause a lot of gas - it might mean your MIL and SIL spending their visit in the bathroom!! They should at least apologise for farting in front of everyone. My Nan used to get up from her chair and fart all the way to the table - she was deaf, so could only feel it coming out, but thought because she couldn't hear it, no one else could either!!! Yes, we found it hilarious! I don't see that you need to ban them from attending Christmas. Perhaps you could ask what food items make their stomach issues worse, and avoid cooking them?

Sorry cross posts re intolerances. They are ridiculous then. Maybe find out what they shouldn't have and feed them accordingly.

It's just wind, you are being a bit silly about it.