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Original poster

DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

661 replies

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:10

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 20:45

CheeseIsMyIdol · 01/12/2025 20:41

OP, in your shoes I would be working the phones with all urgency, trying to get a restaurant or pub reservation for Christmas lunch.

(I know the husband should do it, but the clock is ticking for getting a slot on Dec 25). Tell your DH "this way they can have an even larger audience for their hilarious antics; I'm sure it will be quite merry."

Then rejoice in the knowledge that they won't be darkening your doorstep this year.

Well he has informed me tonight that he knows of at least two places with availability, as his ‘colleague told him and they also think I’m being ridiculous’. One of them is a Brewers Fayre, which I’ve never found appetising!

OP posts:
CheeseIsMyIdol · 01/12/2025 20:41

OP, in your shoes I would be working the phones with all urgency, trying to get a restaurant or pub reservation for Christmas lunch.

(I know the husband should do it, but the clock is ticking for getting a slot on Dec 25). Tell your DH "this way they can have an even larger audience for their hilarious antics; I'm sure it will be quite merry."

Then rejoice in the knowledge that they won't be darkening your doorstep this year.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 01/12/2025 20:39

JLou08 · 01/12/2025 20:35

Luckily for me my partner wouldn't see something so minor as rude and disrespectful. For either of us to even consider stopping the family of the other coming round there would need to be a very serious incident, such as violence or aggressive shouting, not passing wind. I can't believe there are people this uptight 😂.

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Having decent manners and self-respect is far from "uptight."

muggart · 01/12/2025 20:38

Brefugee · 01/12/2025 19:56

there is zero indication this is what happened.

They stuffed their faces, farted all over the place then blamed OP?
Whereas: they could have told the DH about food intolerances, not eaten foods they are intolerant to and definitely not made a disgusting game of farting all afternoon.

OP - tell your DH to take them out for lunch, and see them afterwards.

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It literally says in the OP that the in-laws said “well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

So i would say there’s a pretty good indication that’s what happened!

TheGirlattheBack · 01/12/2025 20:38

Their behaviour is uncouth - fine in the privacy of your own home - not fine in someone else’s home.

That said, I really think you need to put whoopee cushions in your kids stockings. 😂

GuerrillaMyse · 01/12/2025 20:37

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:52

Yes, this is more or less the ‘vibe’

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Yanbu
Digestive issues aren't an excuse for disrespectful behaviour. What they do in their own homes is fine, yours it's another

Dymaxion · 01/12/2025 20:36

I would record them doing it and post it to the Family SM group 'its like the Frogs chorus here !' because if it's funny, its worth sharing ?

Nearly50omg · 01/12/2025 20:35

I’d tell them now that Xmas dinner is off at your house and your dh is offering to take them to a pub instead so he can’t get out of it 😂 Enjoy a lovey meal with your children and whoever else you fancy inviting!

JLou08 · 01/12/2025 20:35

25percentoffeverything · 01/12/2025 20:10

If you were considering a divorce because your DH was doing ALL the work - before and after - and the family was behaving like pigs, I"d say you would be doing your DH is a big favour 😂

It's very controlling to prevent your DH having family over at Xmas
no one is stopping him, not in the OP's home if the guests can't show her a minimum respect. Would you really not support your own partner if your family was being rude and disrespectful to him? wow

It's nearly a month, letting DH organise a change of plan is absolutely reasonable.

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Luckily for me my partner wouldn't see something so minor as rude and disrespectful. For either of us to even consider stopping the family of the other coming round there would need to be a very serious incident, such as violence or aggressive shouting, not passing wind. I can't believe there are people this uptight 😂.

Autumngirl5 · 01/12/2025 20:31

I would hate people doing that in my house in front of everyone. It is really bad manners. You just go to the bathroom and have some dignity and thought for others for goodness sake!

Nospringchix · 01/12/2025 20:31

Randomlygeneratedname · 01/12/2025 18:17

I couldn't imagine being this uptight, I'd be joining the giggles with the kids and not letting it take up anymore of my brain space.

Me too, but maybe becaause I come from a family that is quite relaxed about these matters.
We visit my DB at christmas and nobody's farts could be anywhere near as bad as his labrador's anyway 😁

CandyCaneKisses · 01/12/2025 20:31

Coming from someone with ‘stomach issues’ they should know what foods to avoid if it causes them to fart that much. I’d never fart around family like that and I’d make sure I didn’t eat anything that upset my stomach.

Id not want them around either tbh.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 20:29

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 20:20

Ps you don’t have to have an intolerance to fart. Most Sunday lunch veg will cause gas.

Indeed, Queen of Kale!

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 20:28

Livelovebehappy · 01/12/2025 20:23

Weirdly, people who do this will do it in their home, or someone else’s home, but wouldn’t do it if in a restaurant or similar. So I don’t buy the ‘oh, I can’t help it, it just happens’ bs. I think it’s disrespectful.

You just don't hear it at the pub/in a restaurant.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 20:28

EarthSight · 01/12/2025 20:15

That's grim. I wouldn't want to be breathing in air that's passed through their arseholes

Well I hate to tell you that if you've ever been in a classroom, theatre, aeroplane, mall etc you've gulped down plenty.

For some reason I find belching more offensive. It seems more intentional and has a more crude, less amusing sound.

Livelovebehappy · 01/12/2025 20:23

Weirdly, people who do this will do it in their home, or someone else’s home, but wouldn’t do it if in a restaurant or similar. So I don’t buy the ‘oh, I can’t help it, it just happens’ bs. I think it’s disrespectful.

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 20:20

Ps you don’t have to have an intolerance to fart. Most Sunday lunch veg will cause gas.

PithyTaupeWriter · 01/12/2025 20:20

Doseofreality · 01/12/2025 18:17

Let them come for dinner but put large signs around the house saying “Flatulence Free Zone”, slap a bit of tinsel on them to make the more festive:
Drink several bottles of Prosecco during dinner and proceed to follow them around the house with several cans of air freshener.

This! Make it fun. I can't say I love the idea of people farting non stop in my living room, but if it keeps the kids entertained for a while, I'd probably suck it up. It should give you, DH and the kids something to laugh about for a while.

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 20:19

EarthSight · 01/12/2025 20:15

That's grim. I wouldn't want to be breathing in air that's passed through their arseholes

I know. Fun fact: farts are actually airborne micro particles of faeces.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 01/12/2025 20:18

I’m not much of a farter myself - if I ever feel the urge it’s a signal I need to poo and I follow that signal. Noe do I find farting funny.

that being said, you are being unreasonable. These women have a health condition that puts this outside their control. You should be more ubder
sta.

Just ignore it, open a window if necessay and get on with your day. The novelty will wear off for your children soon enough.

itsthetea · 01/12/2025 20:17

just don’t cook a roast then

I mean you say you didn’t force them to eat but did you really make sure there was a proper dinner they could eat without upsetting their stomach?

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 20:16

My family happily fart away. But they know I don’t like it. So dad and kids do it when I’m not there…in the car, in the house if I’m not in them. But when mammy is around they don’t as they know I hate it so they’re respectful. They’ll go to the loo if they must. It’s a good balance. They can break wind I’m not stopping them but I they dont do it loudly or smelly-ly infront of me as I don’t like it. I’m not a prude. I just find it awful. And YES I break wind everyone does but id never do it loudly infront of others. If one comes out by accident im embarrassed and apologise and go to the loo if possible, People should respect others wherever possible. If you really don’t like people burping or breaking wind in your lounge it’s your lounge you’re entitled to say so.

Ahfiddlesticks · 01/12/2025 20:16

Randomlygeneratedname · 01/12/2025 18:17

I couldn't imagine being this uptight, I'd be joining the giggles with the kids and not letting it take up anymore of my brain space.

Same!

EarthSight · 01/12/2025 20:15

That's grim. I wouldn't want to be breathing in air that's passed through their arseholes

Blodwynne · 01/12/2025 20:15

twoshedsjackson · 01/12/2025 18:13

He's already come up with an alternative, and "offered" to take them for a pub lunch.
Accept cheerfully as a positive solution; wait for the back-pedalling.
I suspect that they will be more circumspect about their flatulence in a public setting, as well.

This