DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

I initially thought ‘my house don’t be so rude’ but think I now agree with @ChristmasCrumblings if you make an issue then suddenly you’re the issue not their behaviour. ‘Oh we got un-invited because she is too good for us doesn’t like farting apparently’ blah blah blah. I totally feel your pain. But I think you might have to be ‘the bigger person’ (hate that concept but hey) and just tolerate it for a few hours while silently thinking I’m glad I’m not like that. Great excuse to leave the room, hide in the kitchen and neck some wine if you drink.

So op can’t have say cauliflower cheese because two grown ass adults can’t control themselves to not eat it so she has to smell their farts.

Nah the farters can pick to not stuff their faces or they can be decent humans and excuse themselves when they need to stink out the room if they cannot moderate their plates.

Huh?

Presumably they can’t self serve if you just don’t cook the foods that cause the problem?

Of course it's disgusting. I would hate it too op but you cant uninvite them for that. I mean uninviting someone is a pretty big deal and will probably cause a lot of hurt and upset so I dont think it's worth that. They basically just have bad manners and didn't grow up with the same social rules that you did. They aren't doing anything nasty or hurtful. Regarding your kids I don't think they should learn to bin relationships for something so trivial.

Going out for a walk like pp said after the meal is a good idea. Or just tell them that it really troubles you and could they maybe go to the bathroom. Better still let dh tell them.

I too would find it gross! I wouldn't want to be around it,would make me gag! Though I do sympathise with them that they have food issues...but i have easy gag issues!! . I have told people before, you fart near me thinking it's funny,don't be offended when I vomit,and make sure it goes on you!

@Christmasdayissue

My MIL also used to have "stomach problems" (ate large amounts of crap) so would just fart out loud. The first time she did it I almost peed myself trying not to laugh.

Are we talking loud and proud or silent and violent?

Just address them as Lord and Lady McFarty Pants, make sure you buy them those self inflating whoopie cushions as Christmas presents, and cook extra Brussel sprouts.

And when one of them farts out loud, look at one of your kids then declare loudly "I hope that wasn't a shart?! Does someone need to go to the toilet??"

😄

Brewers for Christmas dinner.

I went there for breakfast twice mistakenly honestly… that was bad enough and the tables so so close together.

It is the attitude and lack of doing anything about it, not the function.

Surely you can see this??!

It isnt rocket science.

Lots of people have food intolerances. But we either avoid those foods, take enzymes that help digest so we aren't farting everywhere or, at the VERY LEAST, apologise.

It is absolutely a bodily function. But so is having a poo. What’s next? A turd on the table? By that logic that would be ..fine?

All those brussels and stuffing. What could possibly go wrong…

I actually rarely eat kale I was just looking for a username that hadn’t already been used…but yeah. Greens make you gassy but that’s good. It’s the microbes doing their jobs.

Imagine...being cast out because of a bodily function..

They sound utterly revolting.

The odd fart, no problem.

A farting competition with people who think it is acceptable in someone else's house? Vile

Well he has informed me tonight that he knows of at least two places with availability, as his ‘colleague told him and they also think I’m being ridiculous’.

Perfect, tell him to crack on, I am sure they will have a menu suited to their particular dietary requirements, which it sounds as though they will deliberately choose to ignore, however all that will happen is they will eat there and then come and fart at yours after, having held it in, in public.
I would suggest booking whichever involves the longest car journey so DH can really get his fill of funny festive farts in an enclosed space

He'll be lucky if he can get a table for Christmas day now.its a bit late in the day

poster making the hilarious comments that pop on every in-law thread, thinking they're original ✅

I feel for anyone eating their Christmas dinner in Brewers Fayre having to hear and smell them farting away next to them.

I’d be annoyed too. If dh won’t say anything I would and just say you dont expect a reoccurrence on Xmas day. And if they feel they have to behave that way they don’t have to come. And if your dh wants to take them out instead leave them to it.

Your username is most inappropriate because that is a very inspired idea! My vote is for this.

Sitting around farting in company is disgusting, and it’s really rude of them not to apologise.

Big fatty farting in laws ✅

sil likes her food wink wink nudge nudge ✅

teeny tiny OP working out how many meals she can make from the roast chicken ✅

Strange priorities here. Farting - a normal and harmless bodily function - results in pearl clutching and horror that it’s done ‘in front of the children’… and yet you think it’s funny that you’re bringing them up in a household where a grown ass adult man doesn’t do anything in the kitchen. I’d say that was the bigger and more “revolting” issue.