Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

661 replies

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 18:10

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 01/12/2025 22:28

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 21:35

DH is standing firm this evening. Discussed it once the kids were in bed.

I think ‘my shit doesn’t stink’ apparently!

But you’re perfectly aware your shit stinks and that’s why you don’t sit around purposely filling other peoples living rooms with your poo-ridden arse gas..

BettysRoasties · 01/12/2025 22:26

MissDoubleU · 01/12/2025 22:25

The odd slip out is one thing but sitting in the fumes of your MIL’s IBS sprout farts all evening is quite another. Not even an attempt to contain them to the bathroom?? No one finds that w nice relaxing festive atmosphere, surely.

Edited

My sprout farts could clear a Tesco extra. So I only have them a couple of times a year at home🫣

Mummyshark2019 · 01/12/2025 22:26

Can you imagine what they'd be like after the sprouts? I think you should invite them but get your husband to tell them that you don't think farting in front of the kids sets a good example and its pretty rank, so they can just walk outside of the room and let their gas go there.

MissDoubleU · 01/12/2025 22:25

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 01/12/2025 18:12

I’m sure they can’t help farting! No reason at all to cancel Christmas!

The odd slip out is one thing but sitting in the fumes of your MIL’s IBS sprout farts all evening is quite another. Not even an attempt to contain them to the bathroom?? No one finds that w nice relaxing festive atmosphere, surely.

boho878 · 01/12/2025 22:20

TotallyUninspired · 01/12/2025 18:26

How about you all go for a nice walk after lunch to get all the wind out of their systems in less enclosed surroundings?! Upon your return, DH, DMIL and DSIL can clear up in the kitchen (allowing them the opportunity to rid themselves of any residual gas) while you relax with the DCs.

I always wondered why my family insisted on going on a walk into the depths of nowhere after Christmas Dinner - it must have been the fart walk

bozzabollix · 01/12/2025 22:20

I’m missing my cat who we lost a week ago. So feeling sad but thanks OP, you’ve really made me laugh with that one.

Wtfdoidoplease · 01/12/2025 22:11

🤢🤢🤢
Stand firm, OP

localnotail · 01/12/2025 22:08

Just force feed them a bottle of Pepto-Bismol each straight after eating. Bingo! No farting.

Vitriolinsanity · 01/12/2025 22:07

There is discreetly passing wind (we all do it) and competition level farting with accompanying hilarity.

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 22:07

BettysRoasties · 01/12/2025 22:04

Completely agree with him. Your shit does stink which is why you don’t do it publicly 😅

Correct!

BettysRoasties · 01/12/2025 22:04

Christmasdayissue · 01/12/2025 21:35

DH is standing firm this evening. Discussed it once the kids were in bed.

I think ‘my shit doesn’t stink’ apparently!

Completely agree with him. Your shit does stink which is why you don’t do it publicly 😅

WhippetsForever · 01/12/2025 22:01

you’re being ridiculous. Only on MN is farting considered disgusting

That's not true in my experience. I don't know anyone who wouldn't find the behaviour of OP's in-laws rude, crass and disgusting. I wouldn't be hosting them again OP, take DH up on the offer to take them out (I'm not sure why he feels it's a threat, it sounds ideal to me. Revolting behaviour.

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 22:00

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 21:55

Misphonia I think.

I guess loud farting could have a similar effect.

That’s it. Thank you. I’m always careful
with my kids to say ‘it’s not you it’s me you know I’ve got sensitive ears’ when I have to go out when they’re eating cereal or crisps like any normal child would but to me the sound is painful. It’s bizarre.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 21:57

CheeseIsMyIdol · 01/12/2025 21:40

What an obnoxious remark for him to make.

Standing firm about the pub or about them coming to yours for Christmas? Will he say anything to them ahead of time?

Aside from the unpleasantness, what a horrid example for your children. does he want them to be low-class oafs with no social graces?

It was an obnoxious and it is interesting, but I actually find coarse language a more offensive sound than a fart.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 21:55

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 21:53

Im with you here. It’s bloody disgusting. Smell makes me wretch. Physically. I’m a sensitive type though. Also have that weird thing where I have to leave the room (discreetly) when someone is munching too loudly. Can’t even go to the cinema as the munching makes me feel sick. It’s a thing but can’t remember the word. But some people literally can’t tolerate certain smells or sounds it makes them feel awful.

Misphonia I think.

I guess loud farting could have a similar effect.

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 21:53

sprigatito · 01/12/2025 21:49

Thank you, yes, it is quite stressful when I get trapped with an intolerable stench, especially in a situation where I can’t show distress (like dealing with my dad’s incontinence). I know I’m autistic and have a stronger reaction than most because of my sensory sensitivity, and I do try not to let it impact others - but for family members to do this deliberately, for hours, in my home after I’ve cooked for them, and to find it funny….yeah, I’d struggle to have any positive feelings towards those people.

Edited

Im with you here. It’s bloody disgusting. Smell makes me wretch. Physically. I’m a sensitive type though. Also have that weird thing where I have to leave the room (discreetly) when someone is munching too loudly. Can’t even go to the cinema as the munching makes me feel sick. It’s a thing but can’t remember the word. But some people literally can’t tolerate certain smells or sounds it makes them feel awful.

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 21:52

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 20:57

It is absolutely a bodily function. But so is having a poo. What’s next? A turd on the table? By that logic that would be ..fine?

You make a fair point here actually.

strange25 · 01/12/2025 21:50

BringBackCatsEyes · 01/12/2025 21:48

Poor OP is just going to have to rise above it

😂This conjured up an image of OP being lifted into the air and riding out of the room on a wave of fart gas.

This made me shoulder shake laugh with a sleeping child next to me, thank you 😂

Calliopespa · 01/12/2025 21:50

BringBackCatsEyes · 01/12/2025 21:48

Poor OP is just going to have to rise above it

😂This conjured up an image of OP being lifted into the air and riding out of the room on a wave of fart gas.

I had a similar image. I was thinking she'll have to rise really quite high to get above it, as hot air rises.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 01/12/2025 21:50

sprigatito · 01/12/2025 21:49

Thank you, yes, it is quite stressful when I get trapped with an intolerable stench, especially in a situation where I can’t show distress (like dealing with my dad’s incontinence). I know I’m autistic and have a stronger reaction than most because of my sensory sensitivity, and I do try not to let it impact others - but for family members to do this deliberately, for hours, in my home after I’ve cooked for them, and to find it funny….yeah, I’d struggle to have any positive feelings towards those people.

Edited

You’re welcome xx

sprigatito · 01/12/2025 21:49

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 01/12/2025 21:45

I genuinely feel really sorry for you.

Life must be incredibly stressful for you.

It’s gas. It dissipates.

Thank you, yes, it is quite stressful when I get trapped with an intolerable stench, especially in a situation where I can’t show distress (like dealing with my dad’s incontinence). I know I’m autistic and have a stronger reaction than most because of my sensory sensitivity, and I do try not to let it impact others - but for family members to do this deliberately, for hours, in my home after I’ve cooked for them, and to find it funny….yeah, I’d struggle to have any positive feelings towards those people.

BringBackCatsEyes · 01/12/2025 21:48

Poor OP is just going to have to rise above it

😂This conjured up an image of OP being lifted into the air and riding out of the room on a wave of fart gas.

whynotwhatknot · 01/12/2025 21:48

tell him to sort out the dinner then and you go out

KaleQueen · 01/12/2025 21:47

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 01/12/2025 21:22

Is there a North/ South divide about this or something?
I don’t know a single person who would be upset by this.

Proper North. Find it grim.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 01/12/2025 21:45

sprigatito · 01/12/2025 21:42

I don’t think the difference is as vast as you obviously do tbh…these people are deliberately, repeatedly releasing really smelly gas in someone else’s home. And laughing about it. It’s really, really rude.

I genuinely feel really sorry for you.

Life must be incredibly stressful for you.

It’s gas. It dissipates.

Swipe left for the next trending thread