DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

Sadly I now feel this hitherto merry thread is not actually about festive farting.

Well it's his house too so I suppose he can invite who he wants to, however that doesn't mean you have to cook for them or even be there when they visit. It just depends how much of an issue you want to make it and how much you are willing to let your disagreement on the subject affect your children and the future of your marriage.

You can grin and bear it and do your normal hosting.
You can host but do a really bland meal that hopefully would cause less GI problems for them but might not be what you prefer to have for Christmas lunch. You can tolerate a visit but refuse to cook.
You can go somewhere else with or without the kids.
The last 2 would probably cause a major row with your husband and have longterm consequences, it just depends if you are ready to deal with that - I would be due to the total lack of respect from everyone but I am an old grump and don't tolerate much these days.

Stick to your guns OP so that he's forced into the pub lunch option. I'm sure he'll enjoy sitting there with them, tuning up the brass band.

That is hilarious. The two of the them sitting side by side on the sofa merrily parping away filling your house with gas. I do feel sorry for them if they have to put up with that after every meal. Are there foods they can eat that don't have that effect? I wouldn't uninvite them especially if it is a medical condition - I assume it is, otherwise it's pretty antisocial.

That would be me out of doing the christmas
meal. And mentally out of the marriage, too.

Surely you have all the power though as he doesn’t do the cooking. Just don’t cook! don’t even discuss it.

At least you wouldn't be short of gas for the patio heater. 😀

They behaved disgustingly and the reasons for that don't matter, not your problem. I'd have vomited if I'd been forced to stay in the room with that and nope, I wouldn't have my Christmas day ruined either.

Not your problem, don't let any of them make it your problem.

This is really rude but surely it’s not the first time?

Flappyanus. Is that Latin?

You’d enjoy eating with me. I have a stoma over which I have no control. Charlie, for it is he, let’s out long high-pitched farts. The grandchildren enjoy it, but it does leave something to be desired.

I’d divorce both of you.

Don’t believe everything you read online.

Yabu. It's not ideal but people fart, people with stomach issues more so. I wouldn't be saying someone couldn't come on Christmas over it and I certainly wouldn't accept my partner saying my family couldn't come over because they fart too much.

Wow! Your DH's a fucking prick.

Your inlaws are vile too. I've had similar issues myself in the past and never behaved like them.

one of them is 30..

On the one hand they might be two old people who have less control and you ought to feel sorry for them and remember that old age comes to us all.

On the other, farts are hilarious and you can play a secret game with your kids to decide who farts the most and who farts the loudest and then give a prize to the kid who guesses correctly.

Nothing to get so prudish and miserable about. One day you'll be in the same situation, the oldest in the room, desperately hoping your DIL doesn't throw you out for some minor misdemeanour. How sad...

I was already giggling at the thread, but this made me 😂🤣

A friend is like this - she toots with every step, cough, sneeze, laugh, sitting down, standing up. She has given up saying ‘oops, pardon’ because that is all she’d ever say. Our bodies are designed to let it out, or we’d burst from the build up.

I am glad the children found it funny - better that than a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. Life is far too short to get all Mrs Bucket over a bit of inert gas being released. I like somebody’s humorous suggestion of putting some tinsel around a notice saying ‘fart-free zone’. Choose to laugh rather than stress it.

Oh that is much viler than a fart.

ETA what I thought was essentially a light-hearted thread has taken a dark turn.

And you do the cooking...................so that gives you a say too.

Book the Brewers Fayre! You can cook a nice meal for you and kids the following day.

Another thing to look forward to now I am getting older then... Flappy anus! Bloody marvellous.

He has actually proved the point with his stupid comment!

You know shit and farts stink - which is why people don't like to do them in public

He isn't overly bright is he. Maybe he was gassed too much when young

I think it's a bit rude to be sitting doing that in someone else's home but at the same time I'd hate to have someone confined to the loo on Xmas day or in pain from trying to hold it all in.

I would offer up peppermint tea and schedule a walk after lunch is served to let them get it all out in the fresh air!

I certainly don't think it's enough to cancel Christmas over. And you should be able to teach your kids that it's a medical issue they don't have and therefore shouldn't be copying.