DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

They knew she was serving a roast, the guests should have said at that point.
We all find farts funny. An hour of adults doing so w/o a care in the world in someone else's home isn't nice.

Not everyone farts more during perimenopause.

Should they have both each commandeered a toilet and locked themselves in for a couple of hours? Or left your house as soon as they'd eaten the last bite?

I know it's not great but I think you just need to open loads of windows and use air freshener/scented candles.

Since I've got to perimenopause the stink of other people knocks me sick 🤣 I couldn't cope with that and yeah everyone farts but doing it deliberately thinking it's funny need to grow up ... do they they enjoy smelling rank in company.. horrible .

You could have chosen food that didn't make them fart. And your DC found it hilarious, anyway. Farting is natural. Wait until you are menopausal - the perineum becomes much more 'eleastic'?
And this:
Wherever you be let the wind flow free.
Not doing so was what killed me.
Found on a gravestone (several probably, as it's quite famous!).

I don't think they'll care. They do proper loud farts it seems, they will find whoopee cushion farts funny.

OP, just don't cook for any of them. Focus on having a lovely day with your dc.

DH will need to host his family.

I've got ibs and get extremely windy which I hate! I eat very sparingly during a flare up and try to control the parping when in company !

I would be one step ahead here and buy a whoopie cushion. And make a point of sitting on it every 30 seconds and emitting a mad cackle. Get the kids on board with it too.

Then see how funny farting is to them after 12 hours of it.

That’s really rude of them .
Ok everyone farts , some more than others especially if they have some food intolerances .
If that were me and my stomach was upset and windy I’d somehow make it to the bathroom and if I didn’t quite get there I’d apologise.
Also they ought to tell you what food intolerances they have so you can sort the food

Absolutely.
His family behaving like baboons when they are guests is bad enough, but his daring to speak to OP in a threatening manner, to squelch her reactions by virtue of his having greater rights in the household, and the strange fact, implied at least, that these Yahoos haven't invited the couple to their own house before, nor dud OP and OH have them over at the rented gaff…well, it’s all a lousy pile of moose dung.
I couldn't endure those two guests’ behaviour in my own home, no matter how much empathy we all appear to extend to self-diagnosed ailments here.
(A serious medical issue is another thing of course; but it doesn’t appear to be the case here, in two separate women! They're just a pair of slobs)

Some self control, or at least some serious discussion, prior to a visit, about dietary limitations, please!

But as I said, it's really the husband who is the monster here, and I cant imagine the sterling qualities OP insists he possesses that allow her to put up with his attitude to her.

OP it's his FAMILY?! How can you even dream of uninviting them on Xmas Day for this reason??? If my partner suggested to me that they didn't want my family to come over on Xmas Day of all days because of such a stupid non reason I'd actually divorce them.

Is there another, deeper reason you don't like his family?

You’re being unreasonable. The kids found it funny & would probably enjoy the day even more with them around.

That's his mam and sister. Unless they're abusive people then you can't block them from Xmas because they farted in your living room. And actually, good on him for not allowing you to invite them.

Laugh back at him. Tell him you won't be cooking. You may not be able to stop them coming. But you dont have to cook for them. He's testing you.

What a prince of a man. I would be gifting myself the joy of being single this Christmas.

They're both single? I'm shocked!

Have a good talk with your children, tell them it's very bad manners to fart at the dinner table. Dó explain a fart is not only "air", you might get a medical-encyclopedia or such to make it absolutely clear for the children what they will not only hear and smell but also breathe in. Don't forget a thorough description of underwear after an evening of farting. You have some time left to totally disgust them about their grandma's and aunt's behaviour.

And what of his mother in this

now I have to ask did he ever live alone

This 👍

This comment/solution for the win 💯😂👏🏽

So just don’t do it.

Let him see you are serious. He wants to host his mum and sister. He can host.

Don’t book a delivery slot for Christmas Eve, don’t add Christmas dinner items to the shop. Let it sink in to him.

Don’t let your children be raised with him acting the same as his dad.

That.

and IF they dare fart… your very disapproving look in their direction will be the cherry on top of the dairy cake!

If you have to accommodate cos he pays more of the mortgage and you’ve to do as your told tell him he’s cooking then. Or will he say no I pay more so you’ve to do it like his fragile man ego will break if he does.

so bloody what if he pays more.
this is 2025 not 1950 ffs and also why the hell doesn’t he know how to cook there is YouTube for that if stuck.

as for his mother and sister they can behave in a restaurant but not in the your home they know what they are doing.