Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

I think the situation had deteriorated beyond any sort of redemption looking at the tone of the other mother's initial message.

The response was remarkably restrained considering.

She sounds unhinged and not particularly bright.
Who did you speak to in the school that was so dismissive? I would write school to and send them a copy of the messages. You could ask the school to keep an eye out for any potential issues between your child and the mother's child. I would also ask that the school consider sending advice on how to deal and treat lice to the whole school.

You need to report this to the police

I would too - and I really cannot understand how calling out a woman who has done this to a class mum, or raising it with school, in anyway impacts a custody negotiation with an ex husband. That’s bonkers.

I'd post the screenshot to the class whatsapp and state that your DD has never had nits and that you've spoken to the school and they've confirmed they would never tell a parent what kids have.

She needs outing as the bully she is.

She needs to sit in the discomfort of everyone knowing.

Her language about your kids is absolutely awful.

I don’t believe she’s having a mental health break down, she’s just being a b#tch and there’s no excuse for it.

OP, I would be upset by this too, as a mum of ND dc I would feel I am being targeted. My kids are now older but there were time at primary school where they probably looked slightly unkept and feral due to them not liking having their hair brushed. One parent accused my dd of making their child present as ND once because they were out together during activities, and they asked that their child did not hang out with mine.

I would just block her, eventually she will probably fall out with all the parents and realise that she’s the problem.

kids get nits and of course they are passed child to child but no one has the right to target one child/parent and text them a load of abuse.

She sounds as rough as a badger’s arse

The OP hasn't been back to update.

Are you OK OP?

Even if someone has a mental illness it doesn’t mean they are crazy

I agree with this - the school absolutely should not be naming or shaming any individual child, even if they DO keep getting headlice. It’s unprofessional and I’d want an apology from the HT if it was the case… but I doubt any member of staff would have done so.

But I’d absolutely speak to the school again - in fact I would email the HT with screenshots of the messages you’ve been subjected to as they can’t easily ignore a written complaint.

I can understand why you want to do something more about this. You’re going through a lot as it is: kids being suspected ND, abusive ex making hassle for you, but I would listen to your solicitor for now. If she escalates it and threatens you or your kids outright then definitely report that. If your kids end up being ostracised or bullied at school handle that as you would normally.

She sounds utterly foul btw. If nits make you that deranged then frankly you have no business having children- chances are they’re going to be riddled with them at least once during childhood.

I think the most annoying thing is the incorrectly spelt fucking. That would really annoy me. I mean if you're going to send shitty messages it's so much classier when they're coherent, with good grammar and spelt properly . . .

she can't even spell fnck

Everyone school has one of those bat shit mums and every school does tend to have one super spreader nitty child sadly.

I’d do as your legal advice says. Be glad she doesn’t want her child near yours think of it as a plus side.

Odds are it’s her child or another parent who’s actually said it was your child rather than school. All it’s takes is someone going Daisy was very itchy at pick up did you see? And Daisy will be the nitty child.

However I will say I did speak to a teacher once about a child you could clearly see them on and got a “yes it’s an on going issue” so sometimes schools will give away that info.

Ignore the text but don’t delete it.

Wow she is obviously stressed and not having a good time at the moment! But obviously a very over the top reaction & nasty message. I know you've already responded but I would have ignored her message and avoided her at school but let the school know as an fyi.

What a horrible person. I'd feel unsettled and feeling extra cautious of what she's telling her child to do to yours though. Crazy a grown woman is being a bully!

@letmeeatcrisps Also, to add, she says in her foul message that she's been told by the school that your DC have had nits a few times before - you should absolutely be asking the school for an explanation about this, particularly when it's not true. In fact, this could be the approach to take in your email to the school as either one of their staff is lying about your DC or this woman is (obviously, it's the woman and the school will be keen to deny any such breach of privacy on their part. 😉 ).

Just calmly tell her it was not your child that brought nits into the school and that the school will confirm that. Is she a germ/cleanliness/creepy things phobic?

I hope she sees this! Awful human. I would expose her vile outburst.

I'd be sharing those messages with a lot of the other school mums too, so that there is no doubt who the unhinged one is.

Don’t love the word chav but I agree with you.

it’s actually annoying me reading so many people say she’s clearly unwell etc. Being angry and rude doesn’t mean you’re mentally ill. Maybe you’re just a dick. Or in some cases people have every right to be angry. Puts me
in mind of people calling women ‘crazy’ or ‘psycho’ for expressing any emotion.

I do think this woman was completely out of line but I don’t think we can always read into angry or aggressive behaviour as a mental health issue.

Bloody hell. Nits are the bane of mine and every other year 3 parent’s lives since our kids started school in reception. It’s relentless. Particularly girls who basically seem to sit with their heads touching.

@letmeeatcrisps And this is one of many messages OP? (You said she sent abusive texts for an hour?) YANBU and I wouldn't let this slide. It's certainly not the school's responsibility to sort out conflict between parents, but when it threatens to disrupt harmony between the children (and it's clear this woman is determined to do that) I would at least want to make the school aware of the severity of the abuse by downloading the messages and attaching them to an email to the school.

Forward it on to the school and also contact you local PCSO at the local police and ask them to advise

She might be from a culture where kids stay home if they have nits? For everyone saying it’s normal, it might be normal here but I grew up in the U.S. and we were kept home if we had them. Granted, this was the 70s so maybe it’s different now.

I would of blocked & avoided her. She sounds very unwell, not your problem