A quarter of kids live in single parent families

If you didn't intend to irritate or upset me, frankly, you need to work on your communication skills. It was an idiotic and rude thing to say. And your other posts on this thread suggest you're just trying to stir.

45k divided by 12 is 3750 per month. So he has 3k left. You don't think three kids cost that between the higher rent, food, tech, phone plans, utilities, gas to ferry them around, school clubs, etc ?

The reality is that two parents may not be able to have a three bedroom house each, and the priority is to house the kids. This may not feel fair but what's the alternative ? If they're in good terms they could do that thing where they rotate in the house, but they'd have to be amicable.

As for him being suicidal, if that's the case he needs to seek help, if you feel he's in danger of hurting himself please reach out to the appropriate emergency services.

Sarcastic response, I didn't intend to irritate or upset you.
Wishing you and your baby the best

Benefits are for the benefit of the children. It's not about someone deciding what they think is 'fair' to adults.

If a man and a woman choose to do something together can lead to pregnancy, they are both responsible for the child that results. The only exceptions are when a child is conceived through egg, sperm, or embryo donation.

On another note, there are 'single parents' claiming benefits as lone parents whilst residing with another undeclared partner. Those people are significantly financially better off than the majority of working parents.
Very unfair

And some women choose to become pregnant.
Need to be fair to all

America is somewhat different as they have a much stronger attitude to individual responsibility over there.

the population as a whole seriously objects to paying state benefits for children where the dad is capable of paying and so while the state will pay benefits there are a lot more weapons to make that dad pay.

it’s still difficult though. They don’t have a good track record on making men pay.

https://www.aecf.org/blog/child-support-statistics

I don't see where the OP assumes all single mums are on benefits?

Your OP assumes that single mums are all on benefits but that isn’t the case. I wonder if there are figures for that..

I have been a full time working single mum since DS was 11 and am currently supporting him through uni. His dad has paid nothing. I have never claimed benefits.

Well, DH died at 37 so his pension was a bit rubbish. But we do fine and I manage to work around eldest’s additional needs. Not all of us are alone due to useless dads - he was the best dad in the world

No way?!

Are you sure?

How did I not notice that at the time? You'd think I'd have noticed, what with all the rounds of IVF and that. I must be super slow on the uptake not to have realised what the funny pink stuff in the little vial was.

Totally thought I was the second Virgin Mary here. Thanks so much for taking the time to explain it to silly ol' me.

You didn't conceive your baby on your own, a man is required ( including sperm donation).
This reduces the role of the man to a sperm donor. At the same time, society vilifies women who get pregnant by casual relationships and men who are not upholding their parental commitments.
All very conflicting with double standards.

In California, the state can revoke/deny your passport; suspend not just your drivers license, but any professional licenses; garnish your wages; confiscate any tax refunds; put a lien on property; and issue an arrest warrant, among other things. Also, if a parent receives benefits because the other parent doesn’t pay court ordered child support, the state can require deadbeat parent to repay all benefits retroactively.

To be fair, I don't think many Americans have passports anyway. It's probably not much of a threat over there.
Removing driving licences could work but I suspect those blokes would continue to drive regardless. They won't get caught.
I've always received maintenance but my ex has always been employed.

I lost my and my daughter’s home when her Dad and I separated, we had been together 15 years and were married but he started to take drugs and then had an affair and I was unable to tolerate being married to him any longer. She was 11. He walked away, quit his well paid job to retrain as a plasterer, earned minimum money on the books and the rest cash in hand and CMS couldn’t touch him much. We were left homeless. I worked my arse off in 3 jobs to be able to afford to get us a private rented lovely flat and her Dad merrily fucked off to Australia with all the money he had saved up never to be seen again. Things need to change.

How would it work when they go on and get the next woman pregnant, mind you why women do it i have no idea

Why should original children have to go without because the next women wants to have kids with them

He is, he’s downsizing, but that means the kids won’t have anywhere to stay if they change their minds, and will only save him a few hundred a month (which will probably go on entertaining the kids on his time with them).

My point is someone shouldn’t be better off being supported by the state and CMS than they were in a relationship with that person, who works full time on an above average wage.

If the kids don’t want to stay over he should downsize or get a house share.

Agree but men find ways to get around paying a fair amount. A few do things like work cash in hand and don’t declare it for example. Some men actually choose not to work so they can pay £2 a week or whatever it is if you’re unemployed. I also think it’s a joke that the amount goes down if a man moves in with someone else’s children.

DH knows a couple who broke up, the dad works full time on about 45k and the mum works a couple of days a week. Kids are about 9, 11 and 13. They had a nice rented three bed, after the split she kept it as she’s kept the UC, and he’s rented a two bed he can barely afford. The kids don’t want to share a bedroom so barely stay over which means the CMS is being recalculated at almost £700 a month (which means he’s going to have to downsize to a one-bed, so even if they wanted to stay, they can’t).

The mum has more money than she’s ever had. The dad is near suicidal and completely broke.

I don’t think that’s fair either.

You’re not wrong that the parent should be paying, not the state, but the fact is many sets of parents can’t pay for a household between them, let alone two.

Not paying for your child should be a criminal offence, just like it is in many European countries.

Yes, I wonder how many of the 4 have outstanding child support in total not just how many are in single parent families.

I believe thats how its done in America or at least some parts

Yup, and? I’m a single adoptive parent. Always have been for 18 years. No fella has lived under my roof in that time. By parenting two of society’s most complex, disabled and vulnerable children, I save the state in excess of £150,000 per annum that would be spent on foster care, children’s homes and social workers. These threads annoy me. So much misogyny.