AIBU to refuse to host Christmas again after what my family said?

What cheeky bastards. Spell it out to them you can’t afford it. Either they all bring a dish alone each or you go to the pub.

Greedy fuckers will probably expect you to pay the bill so I would explicitly tell them we are all paying for our meals separately.

Quickly search around for a hotel Christmas break or a holiday cottage somewhere and book a short break for you and your immediate family.
Then tell the rest of the family you find Christmas too tiring and you are going away this year. And leave them to it.

It probably won’t cost an awful lot more than you hosting a massive meal for all the extended family. And you’ll have a lovely relaxing time.

You will be going this for the next 40 years otherwise!

I am staggered you have already done this for SEVEN years!

’dear family - I am having a year off hosting Christmas. Look forward to seeing you all in the new year . Lots of love op’

And mean it. Stand your ground. They are taking you for a ride, and using emotional manipulation.

Next year you agree to taking it in turns or you just don’t see them at all. They are so ungrateful.

Stand your ground on this OP. It’s going to go on forever if you don’t!

Have they seen the price of food this year ??? Yeah course they have that’s why they are happy to keep the family tradition of freeloading off you to save themselves money !!! I would be asking for £50 an adult this year and if they don’t want to pay then take yourselves off to the pub and leave them to their own traditional Xmas . Not many people can afford to host and pay for it all this Xmas so you’re deffo not being unfair .

What will your Christmas be like if you don’t host OP? Picture that and use it as extra energy when you tell them no again.

It’s not your job to create Christmas magic for “the kids”. If you do it this year, that’s 8 years of “tradition “—time to break that cycle. Now. Don’t ask for money or contributions—just don’t host. End of. When someon asks again…”I’m not hosting this year—it doesn’t work for me.” Then silence. No excuses, no apologies, no explaining. When they come back at you—“That doesn’t work for me, I’m afraid.” On repeat. Stop the cycle NOW, or you will still be in it in 2040

Agree with PP who say go away. My DSis who is our family “hoster” has found going away is the best way for her not to be in the mix and to get away from her own guilt or be part of any discussion about it. I am so pleased for her: she now enjoys Christmas and her family like it better cos she’s not stressed. They have soup for lunch on Christmas Day. My mum in particular lays the guilt on but my sister just shrugs and says “we’re away.”

Don’t host. Don’t even offer some kind of get together at yours as you will have all the work and expense and they will still be cheeky fuckers.

There are still 3 and a half weeks before Christmas - so plenty of time for someone else to plan an alternative. Just say “no” to hosting.

Fuck them out of it. It’s no Christmas for you.
Do it today.

There’s still plenty of time for them to pick up a turkey.

In this situation, I would definitely not host. Put your foot down. Or at the very least, say you are happy to have it at the house if someone else does the cooking this year, as you have done it very year w no help and they need to get off their lazy ass's and help out for once.

That's such a funny thought, imagine OP going on holiday and getting a facetime and it's her whole family solemnly sat round her empty dining table 😅

Definitely do not host. They are so cheeky.
Mini break it is.

Good luck finding a pub, and I mean really have some good luck.

If you don't manage it see which take away places are open.

Whilst I don’t disagree, OP’s family strike me as the type that would still expect / have Christmas at hers without her 🫠🫠

The only thing I think is wrong in the OP is suggesting you book at a pub.....that ship sailed at the end of September for anywhere decent!

Stick with "nope" and let them sort themselves out. I guarantee that by next November they will be offering to pay their way so you will host again. And that is when you say "No, last year on our own was just lovely so I wont be hosting again".

You can host as you have the nicest house but they can each take turns in preparing, cooking and clearing up after dinner.
Alternatively, you calculate what the cost is and split it and they all chip in. If that's the case they all.need assigned tasks e.g veg prep, clear table, wash up, dry up, put away.

It’s your house and money so completely your decision. Do not let them rule the roost here. If you don’t want to host, you absolutely do not have to.

I'd book an overseas short break holiday and tell them I'm not available over Christmas. You'll probably still be better off than paying for them!

I'd definetly not host them. At all.

I'd make sure I had a lovely dinner for me & the family who lived with me and I'd post the pictures on social media for the rest of them to see 😅

Your family sound awful, stand your ground no matter what and enjoy a peaceful Christmas.

Please don't cave in to family pressure or a guilt pile on, it's your Christmas too. You are a saint for putting up with your selfish family for 7 years. Who the hell turns up to a fully catered Christmas with nothing or thinks a packet of bread rolls is a suitable contribution?

To not even acknowledge the work, effort and expense when you have said 'no' shows a great what they really think of you.

I can’t believe a family could be such complete entitled morons . Tell them all to fuck off . Can’t even believe this could be real.