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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to have primary-aged children, and not do the elf...

92 replies

FlourandFlowers · 30/11/2025 22:39

AIBU to have primary school-age children and not do the elf or December boxes?

YABU - It's common-place now, and your children will inevitably feel left out tomorrow.
YANBU - Your children will be absolutely fine.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 30/11/2025 23:08

Namechangerage · 30/11/2025 22:56

Wait so you remember just now and still don’t do it? Why on earth?

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Because I'm already in bed and it's never occurred to me to make a thing of presenting them. They were there when they were handed out at church so it's not like they don't know they're in the kitchen somewhere.

Namechangerage · 30/11/2025 22:56

DappledThings · 30/11/2025 22:53

In "setting out" Advent calendars you've already done more than I have. I think I know which cupboard they are at the back of and if I remember before they leave for breakfast club tomorrow thst they go to once a week I'll get them out and let them open them. I don't think to get them out the night before

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Wait so you remember just now and still don’t do it? Why on earth?

DarkForces · 30/11/2025 22:55

dd's advent calendar is arriving tomorrow... It's amazing she's made it to a teenager given this level of neglect. I also recommend reusable bags for wrapping. Strip back and simply as much as you can and focus on doing the things you love most. That's what family traditions are. Ones that you all enjoy!

gogomomo2 · 30/11/2025 22:55

Stay of social media, all it seems to do is make perfectly good parents feel inadequate. Nothing wrong with a mass produced chocolate advent calendar

Namechangerage · 30/11/2025 22:54

I only started last year when my 7 year old asked why they don’t visit us. So I got away with 6 years 🤣 I said we have to invite them and I hadn’t done it, but if they wanted me to, I would invite them.

Yes, it’s a bit of a ball ache but their faces in the morning are so cute! And the excitement before bed tonight was off the charts. We don’t go too elaborate . Tonight they have thrown the angel off the tree and sat at the top with a note that says “we’re back”

Don’t worry though if you need to say “we don’t get elves here” that’s enough too

DappledThings · 30/11/2025 22:53

FlourandFlowers · 30/11/2025 22:50

Thank you wise Mumsnetters. I had set out our advent calendars, and then saw the deluge of social media posts...

The posts showing over-flowing boxes, with elf-balloons, next to well-lit trees.

I know, I absolutely know, that I shouldn't let social media impact me - but of course it does.

We don't have out tree up yet (we get a real one closer to the day). We have a DCs birthday mid-December, so we try and focus on that first.

We do, of course, partake in Christmas things around home before the tree goes up. We will make our own Christmas tags, and decorate our own wrapping paper. We'll bake lots of Christmas-themed snacks. But, I absolutely panicked this evening and thought that I wasn't enough.

In "setting out" Advent calendars you've already done more than I have. I think I know which cupboard they are at the back of and if I remember before they leave for breakfast club tomorrow thst they go to once a week I'll get them out and let them open them. I don't think to get them out the night before

DarkForces · 30/11/2025 22:53

Santa comes every year in our house. He doesn't threaten with the naughty list as bad behaviour is dealt with on the spot by me/dh and I hate empty threats of not getting a stocking. He certainly doesn't send a fecking elf to stalk us and make my life harder for the best part of a month. Stand your ground @FlourandFlowers

Original poster
FlourandFlowers · 30/11/2025 22:50

Thank you wise Mumsnetters. I had set out our advent calendars, and then saw the deluge of social media posts...

The posts showing over-flowing boxes, with elf-balloons, next to well-lit trees.

I know, I absolutely know, that I shouldn't let social media impact me - but of course it does.

We don't have out tree up yet (we get a real one closer to the day). We have a DCs birthday mid-December, so we try and focus on that first.

We do, of course, partake in Christmas things around home before the tree goes up. We will make our own Christmas tags, and decorate our own wrapping paper. We'll bake lots of Christmas-themed snacks. But, I absolutely panicked this evening and thought that I wasn't enough.

OP posts:
Namechangerage · 30/11/2025 22:50

Eeyorefan · 30/11/2025 22:44

My teenager has never said they wanted either of these or said they were upset I didn’t do them.

They’ve only been popular for the last few years so your child was probably too old. Lucky

DappledThings · 30/11/2025 22:47

Have a 7 and 9 year old. Never done either and won't do. Never bought Christmas pyjamas either.

mindutopia · 30/11/2025 22:46

Never done it. Didn’t realise it was even that much of a thing. Mine are 7 & 12.

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 30/11/2025 22:45

YANBU, and there are some funny video out there of parents warning those who haven't started the elf not to pick that tradition up, largely around how draining the ever increasing expectations are, if you need more of a pep talk on it.

jamcorrosion · 30/11/2025 22:44

Mine is only 2 turning 3 in Jan but I haven’t done it so far and will be opting out as long as possible! There’s enough pressure at Christmas!

Icecreamisthebest · 30/11/2025 22:44

Both are just ways for businesses to sell product. Not falling for the hype is. a great example to set your kids

Eeyorefan · 30/11/2025 22:44

My teenager has never said they wanted either of these or said they were upset I didn’t do them.

usedtobeaylis · 30/11/2025 22:43

I have a primary aged daughter and don't do it. She would have liked it, probably still would, but I don't have the bandwidth for it.

Rhapus123 · 30/11/2025 22:41

We have never done either with our 4 children....