AIBU to have primary-aged children, and not do the elf...

I didn't do it for DC1 and he didn't care at all, in fact, I don't think he would have liked it. However, DC2 really did want one, so I started it, and it's fine. It is only as much hassle as you make it.

Absolutely not. I do it. I genuinely love it but I get why people don't want to!
I also absolutely can not abide being told what to do by people online. I'm very much "If you dont want to then it's not unreasonable, you do what makes you happy/relaxed etc"
I absolutely hate the "all you people doing elf on the shelf, just stop, you're making us look bad" type posts and, I assume there are posts making people who aren't doing it feel bad too.
You do your christmas how you want to do it and sod the social media voices!

Mine are 5 and 2. Haven't ever and will never do it

I cant be arsed doing that. I say its allergic to dogs.

For the best 3 weeks and the next 10yrs!

OP we dont do either but the children geta new pair of pj's to wear on xmas eve, but NOT matching and we put xmas bedding on, (not new)!
Kids have bever missed out and we do other family traditions but dont feel the need to post everything!

Yes I’m the same. I was so anti it but now I do it i’m glad I do! I keep it very chilled, the elf basically moves position each night or maybe is playing a board game with some teddies or sitting in the Christmas tree etc. But the kids absolutely love it and the excitement is so worth the 2 minutes it takes me

Don’t do it, it’s a complete tyranny. Like we haven’t got enough to do at this time of the year.

I've got Year 4 twins, and we've never done it.
I haven't got enough bandwidth to care, and DH has ADHD and would undoubtedly end up forgetting.
They did ask a couple of times, when they were younger, why they didn't have an elf, and I'd just do a casual "A what? I don't know." with a shrug.

A friend of mine still does it for her 2 DDs, who are both teenagers now, which seems a bit odd to me!

Each to their own, but imho it's a creepy load of shite.

Nope YADNBU. I've never done the daily elf thing.

We don't have elf toys. They do bring the Christmas eve box, which is just new pjs, a mug (same ones recycled every year), a Christmas story and a film. Popcorn and sweets. But they just ring the doorbell a lot and disappear. (And I run around the outside of the house like a twat). But they would get these things anyway, and they just go in a nice box that again, is the same every year!

My dd asked me why we didn't do Elf on the Shelf & I told her Mummy had enough to do without adding that to my pile. I was not going to entertain that for a second!

My DS really wanted me to do the elf. I won't. He's 9 and hasn't believed in Santa for years, he just wants the elf hijinks. I don't have the mental energy!! So yeh he was a bit disappointed about that but we do plenty of other xmassy things. It's ok not to have everything.

Never done the elf here. I've never felt that I'm inadequate, my feelings when I see the elf posts is of relief I don't have to bother with it. We don't do Christmas eve boxes either.

My children love Christmas and have never told me they feel having no elf has ruined it. I did ask my older two if they ever wished they had the elf and neither of them did. My youngest won the school elf the one year, he lives with the cuddly toys all year round because he's just a toy.

My in laws bought an elf for us a few years ago, i quite enjoy it now. It’s a bit of fun plus helps get the kids out of bedroom on cold dark mornings.

DS is 10 and I have never done it. He was never mentioned it either

This is exactly it. Loads and loads of Christmas 'traditions' exist
No two families will ever be exactly the same, even if they do the same thing
DH and I both did Xmas eve 'plates' as kids. He put out whiskey, a mince pie and raw sprouts
We put out milk, a biscuit and a carrot
Same tradition, different approach
Just pick the bits you want to do and don't worry yourself following influencers on social media. They get paid for likes and sent merch to set up elaborate stunts
95% of people literally just pose an elf doll being a bit cheeky. It's not that deep
It's supposed to be fun. If you're feeling pressured and stressed, don't do it

What’s a December box have I missed something?
Is this like a Christmas Eve box but every day of December? Please say it’s not.

I totally do have time to do it. I don't want to. I think this is fine too!

I'm a lone parent working full time and practically and mentally I just can't.

I don't agree that it's "just 2 minutes" a day. You have to buy the elf, have the ideas ready and set the thing up. Fine if you want to do it but the idea that anyone could and it's no big effort - well, I feel people underestimate just how little time and bandwidth some parents (especially lone parents) have.

This evening I'll come home from work at 6:30pm, cook our dinner, homework and reading, child in bed for 8:30pm, wash up and ready for tomorrow - that takes me until 9:30. But I've also then got presents to buy and wrap, I've got to ring my mum who is caring for my dad (dementia), I've got to go through the calendar to check I can make various Christmas events, it's my best friend's birthday so I need something for that, I've got to organise an MOT, the list goes on. I'm not exaggerating when I say I do not have 5 minutes a day to do this.

The only answer to this though is to stand firm.

If you don't want to do it, don't do it. It really is that simple. No child gets exactly the same as another child, it's not 'missing out', it's just that everyone's experience is different.

To be fair, there is ridiculous stuff on SM.

But most people don't have time for that, so it'll only be a tiny percentage of elf activity. Everyone I know keeps it quite simple.

Its not an ordeal at all. It has however become a thing where people are accused of being miserly if they don't do it. It only takes two minutes, it's magical for your weans, where's your Christmas spirit, it's for the kids, Christmas is about the weans, and on and on. The OP clearly felt she was potentially somehow depriving her kids of something. Its another optional fun thing that has become a tool to make some parents feel smug and superior and a weapon to make others feel shit and lacking.

You'll always get people that take it to the extreme, but the vast majority of parents pick a pose that takes seconds

A quick Google with bring up lists of hundreds of different ideas

It really does not have to involve very much effort at all. DH makes us a brew to take up to bed and I do the elves. I generally finish first

By all means don't do it. But I find it weird how people try to turn it into this huge ordeal

The elf is just a bit of fun. It costs nothing but the kids love it.

Our elf doesn't report on behaviour. He arrives on 1st December and brings an advent calendar and does something every night - some nights it's no more elaborate than climbing the Christmas tree. The most well received prank was the night he wrapped the toilet in wrapping paper - it took less than 5 minutes to do.

We don't put anything up on social media - yes, shockingly some parents do fun things for their kids just for the joy of it and not to show off to other people.