Which one of these parents would you judge more

Bathing once a week is not neglectful as long as other hygiene practices like hand and face washing and tooth brushing take place. Obviously if the child gets extra dirty it's different. Over bathing is really bad for skin, especially if prone to eczema etc.

Child B is not a million miles away from mine. Hates wearing socks and is bare foot at every opportunity, as am I. Has one long bath a week on a Sunday and usually a mid week shower (but not always). Often looks scruffy out of school and has been known to insist on wearing trousers with holes in because he loves that specific pair. He is constantly ripping the knees playing outside.

I consider myself a reasonable parent, definitely not neglectful, although could do better of course

Why on earth are you spending anytime with someone you think is such a shit parent with such a horror daughter? You’re complete opposites and the judgment is mutual.

Both children are being failed by rubbish half arsed parenting. I’ve got a 6 year old and can’t imagine behaving like either you or the other mum.

Bathing once a week makes no difference to little children, BUT it’s instilling a norm that won’t be socially welcome in a teen. Dirty clothes and stinking of BO will guarantee bullying later. You are clearly child Bs parent. Right or wrongly, it is important to take pride in one’s appearance, to appreciate the value of hygiene and social norms. Yes scruffy is fine in certain circumstances but your child needs to learn the difference. Equally whilst curly thick hair is harder to manage- she needs to learn and preferably early how to manage it. There are many online guides depending on her curl type. Find out and learn op. It will do her favours in later life.

Even detangling spray hurts to brush curly hair. Have a read up on the curly girl method and it will be revolutionary.

Simple version: co-wash (wash with conditioner, not shampoo). 2nd lot of conditioner and comb through. Rinse. Plait it while still wet and job done for another week!

Both

Not in the 90s

I can confirm I wasn’t shoved up a chimney

But OP I also bathed daily

Child B sounds like my childhood in the 1960s but I was happy and loved. Child A’s parents seem OTT in my opinion.

Is this play make-up, borrowing Mummy's makeup and looking like a clown, or a Sephora haul for the 6yr old?

What is the parental reaction to swearing and insults?

Is this no shoes to wear to school, or often barefoot around the house?

Is this scruffy as in is allowed out in public in "no point wearing nice things to do painting/roll in the mud in" previously nice but now a bit tatty clothes, or as in "these clothes are the wrong size/worn out/not weather-appropriate" and the child doesn't have any others.

There's issues with both parenting styles. Where as child A it seems more like questionnable parenting choices. Child B is neglect.

Clean clothes, basic hygiene and grooming are all very basic needs which aren't being met.

how often did they advise?

i also don’t bath my kid very much. she doesn’t smell so i don’t think it matters really.

Still no. You comb it, when wet, ideally with lots of conditioner.

Have you attempted to educate yourself on appropriate haircare for curly hair? If not, please do. I suspect your child would hate having her hair done much less if it were being done properly.

Also, YABU. Both styles of parenting are poor, in my opinion.

That’s a bit like asking if you were up
to your neck in shit and someone threw a bucket of puke at your head,would you duck

I can’t get worked up about bathing once a week - if they’re older than a toddler and not caking themselves in food and dirt and capable of wiping properly after using the toilet, but not yet pubescent and smelly. If teeth are clean, face hands and bottoms clean…the rest of your skin doesn’t need that much maintenance.

I think most people, if they are honest, can feel put out by implied criticism of their parenting style as it's a sensitive issue. Child A, being too young to understand, has announced that her mother (presumably) has said that child B should be dressed more like her. I think it's perfectly possible to defuse any tension, while still defending yourself in a low-key way, by pointing out to both girls that it's fine for child A to prefer a dressy style and child B to prefer comfy and casual. There are no rights and wrongs in this area.

What a load of nonsense

Why does child 2 only bathe once a week? That sounds gross and neglectful.

And why does child 1 wear makeup? Do they do beauty pageants? But at least they are clean and smell good.

Both pretty bad TBH.

Do child A’s parents encourage the name calling? If it’s just the odd bit of make up and perfume I couldn’t get that bothered. I would not give a phone with you tube on though.

Child B, one bath a week and no shoes is not good. It may sound all cute and crunchy but clothes with food down is grim and IMO once they reach a certain age they need to start realising how to dress appropriately for the situation, assuming no SEN. I’ve worked wtih people with poor personal hygiene and it’s no fun. Plus kids will notice if they smell off and it will make it more difficult for them to make friends. Either seek a diagnosis or I think insist on cleanliness and hair brushed at the very least (or cut hair very short).

I’d have a level of concern for both children.

Sounds like they are both judging each other too much. I wouldn't let my child wear makeup or have a phone at 6, but I also never let my children go more than a day without a bath, and brush their hair every day and change their clothes if they get dirty (they are allowed to get messy, I just get them clean as soon as they are finished.)

I'm team B all the way here. I don't think bathing once a week is wrong if the hands are washed regularly and toilet and oral hygiene is good. I had a child who had some sensory needs and hated having hair brushed or wearing a hat so hair was kept short (easier for a boy obviously), shoes and socks were taken off straight away so he was barefoot a lot. He was so much happier that way and i had to choose my battles.

When I see a dirty scruffy looking child at the end of a day I think they have been learning and exploring and enjoying being a child all day. A dirty scruffy child at 8am is a different matter.

Child B sounds fairly similar to mine and I consider myself a “good” parent - I’d say I’m relaxed and more concerned they are happy and healthy than whether they look like they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards on any given day. Child is ND and I’m not interested in having battles over small stuff like what they are wearing.

It does, but once a week is enough.

My DD has riglet tight curls and has only ever had a weekly hair wash. When little, I kept it in plaits to keep it tangle free. Might have to re-do the plaits halfway through the week, but generally they stayed in and stayed neat. Now she's a teen, she still only washes her hair once a week (showers daily now though) and uses a silk bonnet at night.to help stop it tangling and just uses her fingers to comb through with some cream in the morning.

The one who posts on SM wanting people to judge others.