Which one of these parents would you judge more

Having a bath once a week isn’t that bad. If they have clean clothes and have a wash in between.

There’s no excuse for letting them put back on filthy clothes though.
If hair is a constant battle get it cut shorter and invest in some good conditioner and brushes.

I grew up in the late 70’s and 80’s but we still had a bath everyday! That is pure laziness. If you’d have washed the child as often as you should all her life,she wouldn’t know any different and wouldn’t play up. Pathetic excuse. You need to have a word with yourself.

So by guessing the other child is your niece..both bad parenting..you are a lazy idle mother who just let's her child rule you and I'd say you will have more trouble with your child than your niece in fairness..get a grip of yourself,bath your child more,brush her hair and she dosent need to be bloody scruffy,it's not cute big or clever ffs

I personally think it's a no brainer. Child A's upbringing sounds extremely unhealthy. She's wearing make-up at 6 years old, watching adult content on YouTube and calling people fat and ugly, presumably without redress. The only thing I'd probably do is bath or shower child B more than once a week. I only had one bath a week as a child but it was the early 1960's and we only had a tin bath in front of the fire so it was a right bloody palaver.

This is true insofar as many people didn't bath their dc as often in previous generations. I was actually told by a paediatrician I did it too much when mine were small.

I do think in this day and age a week is a bit long unless they are poorly or some other reason. It's quick and easy to jump in and out of the shower.

The no shoes would worry me a bit.

But neglect is a funny concept and I do agree a child can have a lot outwardly yet be emotionally neglected.

Don’t backtrack now. You said barefoot in your garden and in the woods. Now maybe you own the woods and know no one else has managed to spit or pee out there but can you also can confirm there are no fallen branches or other sharp bits of nature that could potentially poke into a tiny bare foot? Either way, the dirt of outside should be cleaned off and not left for another week.

You absolutely have to up your game in caring for your child and perhaps that would be easier done if yous topped worrying so much about someone else’s parenting.

That's what I thought. (The parenting, not the child).
It's like having to choose between snot and baby vomit.

Both sounds neglectful

Neither are great and one of my children is like B, but I know I’m not doing enough about it and I need to lift my game. The biggest issue I see is the way A treats others. That wouldn’t be remotely tolerated in my house and is likely to be the hardest thing to change of all the things mentioned.

If hair isn’t brushed then what about teeth? It’s neglect. You have to force them.

Take away privileges, dont allow them out.

Allowing a child to be dirty makes them a target for bullies and sets them up for failure Uk adulthood (job, friends, confidence and self esteem). Not good.

Hard agree.

OP- there is no excuse for a filthy child. Please instill some hygiene practices. It is neglect, pure and simple. Stop worrying about the other parent. Concentrate on your own parenting. It's lacking.

both sound like the sorts of people who should not have children

Id truly judge them both.
No excuse for a scruffy child.

Id judges A as one of those family who’s treating a little child like a teenager.

I’d judge B as being neglected.

But I wouldn’t be friends with either so I’d be judging based on a snap shot of seeing as described exactly in the opening post. Make up and phones vs scruffy with food down them and unbrushed hair with no shoes.

I’d think A is been made to act far too old for her age and it’s down to the mum wanting a ‘doll’.
Id think B was possibly neglected or come from poverty.

How is your dd spending time with her? If your dd goes to her house then stop that.

Read about the Curly Girl hair method. Never brush curly hair when dry. It’s VERY painful and results in frizz. In fact never use a brush - curl combs are much better both for effect and the person being combed!
Detangle fully when wet, use a diffuser to dry.

There so much info online now about Curly hair, Curlyzia on Instagram has a book about girls growing up with curly hair.

She may only need hair washed once a week so can be tied up but please bath her at least twice. Doesn’t need to be every day. She will get teased in the next couple of years at school for being smelly if you don’t insist on better hygiene now.

As someone with thick curly hair you need to learn and teach her how to care for it. Never ever brush it dry, use a wet brush/tangle teezer in the bath/shower when it has conditioner in then rinse. From someone whose mother also used detangling spray you will be hurting her doing that, it's not enough and will also cause product build up that you're only washing out once a week. Why can't she shower on non hair wash days just get her a shower cap.

I think you are using different language to describe both children. You describe yours as independent and strong willed, yet doing as she is asked is described as 'a battle' and she is point blank refusing to wash, that behaviour is more than that.

I also think giving a6 year old a phone and make up is wrong but two things can be true

If your child is running round barefoot and playing outdoors all the time or with messy crafts, you'd do far better to encourage a daily bathing habit to remove the inevitable dirt these activities attract. It's a lot of faff to wash hands, arms, feet, face, legs, knees, separately and as your child reaches the age where they do this themselves, they'll cut corners. Better for an active child to have a quick shower/bath routine that is followed automatically.
Curly hair also needs daily care as the longer it's left the knottier it becomes.

That is a very nice and considered response.

I’m sorry; I would judge both of you.
child A parents because they clearly care more about material things than their own child and your parenting because despite your protestations your child is scruffy and untidy. Ok at the end of the day, but not to start!

Most kids would be fine, sure, with very gentle soap? Not the ones with skin issues or eczema, obviously.

I'm more of a parent b than a.

My children are never pristine, their clothes get washed regularly but have the telltale stains of grass and mud on the knees. I'm not throwing out perfectly good clothes because they are a bit stained, only if they are trashed. They live in joggers and hoodies, I will only insist on nicer clothes for a formal occasion.

They go through stages where they might have a bath or a shower every day then we might be a bit lax and it's a few days but they never smell but with one of them being 10 we have discussed that he will need to be washing daily before long because he will start to smell.

I don't care about them wearing socks in the house, if it's summer they can go barefoot in the garden. Shoes worn in the winter or in public.

They have short hair so I never brush it and only ever do anything with it if it's sticking up and needs a quick flatten.

Neglect is never washing their clothes or them, refusing to buy shoes, not feeding them. It's not letting them get a bit dirty, wear stained clothes or only getting them washed once a week when they are little and don't smell.