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Original poster

Which one of these parents would you judge more

309 replies

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:38

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:11

Sillysoggyspaniel · 30/11/2025 22:04

Both neglectful in their own ways. Child A needs her parents to be present more and less focus on material things. Child B needs to be actually looked after - there is no reason for a child to have to walk around with food all down themselves or basic hygiene needs not met because their parent can't be arsed with the fight of doing it (which would probably be much less of a fight if it was routine and a non negotiable). Please tell me you at least brush their teeth twice a day?!

They brush their own teeth and wash their face daily

OP posts:
BadgernTheGarden · 30/11/2025 22:10

But there is no reason a child should be unwashed and in dirty clothes, that's the parents job. You didn't say if the dirty beggar is polite or not? Neither seem to have great parent but clean and tidy are pretty basic.

canonlydoblue · 30/11/2025 22:10

Child B sounds a lot like my own children. I judge any parent who gives their six year old a phone tbh.

Alpacajigsaw · 30/11/2025 22:07

They both sound shit parents so I’d judge them both. B worse due to child neglect.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 30/11/2025 22:07

Both children are very young, just starting out in life, and have a lot more in common than you might think. The parents involved are remiss if they are not emphasising underlying commonality and encouraging their children to overlook superficial differences.

Summerbay23 · 30/11/2025 22:06

If I’m honest I’d probably judge both. Makeup at 6 is totally unnecessary, but bathing once a week does not seem ideal either. I have no experience of a specific needs child but it doesn’t sound as if this is the reason your child only bathes infrequently?

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 30/11/2025 22:05

BadgernTheGarden · 30/11/2025 22:03

Have you ever stepped on a wasp? Saying that I didn't usually wear shoes for years in my youth sort of hippy days.

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Standing on a wasp v painful but unlikely long term damage.

Swiftie1878 · 30/11/2025 22:04

Scruffy clothes are different to dirty clothes.
Bathing once a week is not right - try showers if they won’t bathe. That’s a terrible habit to instil in a child.

Both are really bad tbh, but the other child’s parenting sounds worse.

Sillysoggyspaniel · 30/11/2025 22:04

Both neglectful in their own ways. Child A needs her parents to be present more and less focus on material things. Child B needs to be actually looked after - there is no reason for a child to have to walk around with food all down themselves or basic hygiene needs not met because their parent can't be arsed with the fight of doing it (which would probably be much less of a fight if it was routine and a non negotiable). Please tell me you at least brush their teeth twice a day?!

BadgernTheGarden · 30/11/2025 22:03

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:47

Feet can’t be damaged having no shoes on in the house and garden

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Have you ever stepped on a wasp? Saying that I didn't usually wear shoes for years in my youth sort of hippy days.

ItsDarkNow · 30/11/2025 22:03

So who is child A? A niece?

Upsetbetty · 30/11/2025 22:03

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:38

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

I don’t judge either parent. I the both situations have elements of neglect. Albeit different types of neglect,which would make be wonder about neglect in other areas etc. but it’s not enough to go on in either case.

ContentedAlpaca · 30/11/2025 21:59

Ah life is too short. My kids are older teens and live in grandad jumpers. Let the judgment go. It's not worth it in the long run.

Mynumberone · 30/11/2025 21:59

Both are awful.

Crispus · 30/11/2025 21:57

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Theunamedcat · 30/11/2025 21:57

If she hates having her hair brushed cut it short

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:56

EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/11/2025 21:51

Bathing once a week and wearing scruffy clothes is setting her up with bad habits for life.

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Clothes are scruffy at the weekend as she likes to be comfortable and does lots of crafts, playing in garden & woods etc, i’m ok letting that go, does that make me a bad parent

OP posts:
AmethystDeceiver · 30/11/2025 21:56

You've set yourself up for an unpleasant time here OP, why would you do that?

Rosamutabilis · 30/11/2025 21:56

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:49

Hate’s having her hair brushed, at weekends at home, I let it go a little, obviously done for school and a real battle. Hates having a bath too, isn’t dirty obviously on body

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Pull yourself together and act like an adult and a parent.

If she screams when you brush her hair, tough, let her. Presumably it's long? In which case tell her( and mean it) she'll have to have her hair cut to a short bob unless she agrees to let you brush her hair.

Get her in the bath with some plastic cups, stick on letters etc, if she screams just tell her she has no choice about bathing, she can scream and cry or not, her choice, it's happening anyway every single day. She'll be fine after a day or two.

You can't be ruled by a child. Also sometimes your child won't like you, accept it.

Speaking as a mother and grandmother.

Kleeneze · 30/11/2025 21:56

Baths every day is really bad for skin though. We bathed ours very rarely, on advice of a dermatologist.

Overthebow · 30/11/2025 21:55

I’d judge both parents, neither is great.

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:55

Arghhhhggggggggggg · 30/11/2025 21:51

I dunno, is child B neglected or are they neurodivergent?

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Definitely not neglected, possibly nd

OP posts:
Northernlights19 · 30/11/2025 21:55

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:48

No screens, only tv sometimes

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This doesn't make sense. TVs have screens.

Northernlights19 · 30/11/2025 21:53

I wouldn't judge either child because they have no control over how they are parented. I think all parents sound neglectful in different ways.

Crispus · 30/11/2025 21:53

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