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Original poster

Which one of these parents would you judge more

309 replies

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:38

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

OP posts:
ItsDarkNow · 30/11/2025 22:24

So who is child A?

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 30/11/2025 22:23

I think it’s fine to have a weekly or twice weekly bath. Children don’t need submerging in water every day it’s bad for the skin. Children who are visibly dirty need to be cleaned though.

MCF86 · 30/11/2025 22:23

no shoes outside surely means they need to wash more than once a week

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:22

itsnotpenny · 30/11/2025 22:20

I would judge parent A for crap parenting and parent B for being neglectful.

Is it neglectful to let child play in messy clothes at the weekend and to let them be a bit more free with their hair or to let a child sit for hours unattended on adults youtube, but she looks the part in public and has everything she wants

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/11/2025 22:22

She may not smell now, but she will start soon when she starts puberty, she won't suddenly start enjoying washing, better to get her in a routine now.
A's parents are terrible, filling her with chemicals.

Yesimmoaningaboutbenefits · 30/11/2025 22:22

Parent B is fine, as long as there were additional baths/hair washes if visibly dirty. Bath once a week is fine for little ones. Bathing daily isn't good for children's skin. Our youngest only ever had a bath once a week because he'd get weeping sores from damp in creases (behind ears) if bathed too frequently.

Parent A I would be seriously concerned. And yea, would be judging hard.

MincePudding · 30/11/2025 22:22

Why is it either/or?

Hygiene, hair and cleanliness are non-negotiable.

First child could be nicer, so that's on the child (and the school, club or home where the behaviour is happening and going unchallenged). The second child is at the mercy of her parents knowing better but not doing better.

So child 1 might be more personality but, sorry, I think child 2's parents need to actually parent.

Child 2s parents don't get to say what child 1s parents should do, but perhaps don't for an easier lives when they themselves are making choices to.make their own lives easier. Glass houses and all that.

ShesTheAlbatross · 30/11/2025 22:22

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:47

Feet can’t be damaged having no shoes on in the house and garden

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Is that the only place they go without shoes? I would consider that a complete non-issue not worth mentioning, but I’d wash their feet more often after being in the garden (but maybe their feet are washed more often than the weekly bath?)

DarkForces · 30/11/2025 22:22

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:13

Growing up in the 90’s we had a bath and washed our hair once a week on a Sunday, middle class family, fantastic parents, it’s not neglect.

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There's a lot between a daily bath and grubby. Why aren't they wearing shoes outside? It's freezing out and filthy.

Wordsmithery · 30/11/2025 22:21

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 21:47

Feet can’t be damaged having no shoes on in the house and garden

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Rubbish. Soil contains sharp stones, surprising amounts of glass fragments, and thorns and bee stings can both be pretty painful.

Cucy · 30/11/2025 22:21

Definitely A poor thing.

One is allowed to be a kid and one isn’t.

Driftingawaynow · 30/11/2025 22:21

B sounds way preferable to A and there’s nothing wrong with a weekly bath if she doesn’t smell

Bournetilly · 30/11/2025 22:21

Both parents are terrible!

Id rather my child be around child B but it also sounds as though B is neglected.

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:20

CinnamonBuns67 · 30/11/2025 22:20

Both are crappy just in different ways. It's hard to say which parent is crappier without knowing what child B's behaviour and attitude towards others is like though, as child A's attitude stinks.

Kind and caring, but strong willed and independent

OP posts:
itsnotpenny · 30/11/2025 22:20

I would judge parent A for crap parenting and parent B for being neglectful.

CinnamonBuns67 · 30/11/2025 22:20

Both are crappy just in different ways. It's hard to say which parent is crappier without knowing what child B's behaviour and attitude towards others is like though, as child A's attitude stinks.

Livelaughlurgy · 30/11/2025 22:19

To be fair, parent B also went on the internet to slag off parent A. So there's that....

BadgernTheGarden · 30/11/2025 22:18

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:13

Growing up in the 90’s we had a bath and washed our hair once a week on a Sunday, middle class family, fantastic parents, it’s not neglect.

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That was really more the 60s and 70s but standards have changed since then. We didn't have hot water unless it was specifically heated so jumping in a bath was just not possible. By the 90s most people had hot water on tap.

Catwoman8 · 30/11/2025 22:17

I would judge the parents of child A more because no 6 year old should have a phone. The child calling people fat and ugly is a horrible trait too.

However, parent B is not perfect either. Child B really needs to washed more than once per week and the hair should be brushed so it doesn't become matted. I wouldn't judge a child for having paint or mud on their clothes from playing.

Swiftie1878 · 30/11/2025 22:16

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:13

Growing up in the 90’s we had a bath and washed our hair once a week on a Sunday, middle class family, fantastic parents, it’s not neglect.

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Yeah, they used to shove kids up chimneys too.
It IS neglect by today’s standards.
Stop making excuses for lazy-arsed parenting.

jetlag92 · 30/11/2025 22:15

Obviously both are bad.

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:15

Sillysoggyspaniel · 30/11/2025 22:13

So no. Until about 7-8 children can't and don't do a thorough job of teeth brushing and it's important an adult helps them.

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She does a great job, no issues at the dentist

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/11/2025 22:14

Both of my children are on the spectrum, both hated washing, DD aged 16 is fine now because I tolerated the screaming over allowing her stink, even if it was every 2nd night.
I lay out the towels, sponge, bodywash, make it simple.
DS is the worst childt, physically strong, defiantly rude, but he has things that he loves and if he won't wash, they are removed, it wasn't easy to break down the walls, the alternative was allowing them form terrible habits, I've seen it before, its impossible to break when going through puberty.

Original poster
Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:13

Swiftie1878 · 30/11/2025 22:04

Scruffy clothes are different to dirty clothes.
Bathing once a week is not right - try showers if they won’t bathe. That’s a terrible habit to instil in a child.

Both are really bad tbh, but the other child’s parenting sounds worse.

Growing up in the 90’s we had a bath and washed our hair once a week on a Sunday, middle class family, fantastic parents, it’s not neglect.

OP posts:
Sillysoggyspaniel · 30/11/2025 22:13

Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout · 30/11/2025 22:11

They brush their own teeth and wash their face daily

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So no. Until about 7-8 children can't and don't do a thorough job of teeth brushing and it's important an adult helps them.