Which one of these parents would you judge more

Yeah OP is never coming back as she wanted a pile on parents A and instead got told off for being a skanky neglectful Mum. 😆

Both sound pretty awful.

A sounds like a case of "adultification". Too much time being preened and pampered, but home life is actually pretty scrappy, and the one who shouts the loudest is the one who gets heard. The type of kid who has to shout for the attention she actually wants.

B sounds neglected. I'm all for kids being kids, and getting dirty, but in this day and age, there's honestly no excuse for kids looking obviously scruffy and unkempt. I'd be concerned about what other basic needs aren't being adequately met.

I think there’s a bit of stealth class boasting going on with this post.

I think OP possibly wanted people to celebrate her “free range” parenting style and subtly put down the parents of Child A for being very obsessed with image.

FWIW I think Child A’s parents are far worse: raising children to be very obsessed with looks is a recipe for poor self image, its shallow and it makes them vulnerable to abuse.

I think bathing weekly for a child of this age isn’t a disaster: its less than I would do and I don’t think it instils great habits but it isn’t neglect.

But there’s something about the way you have positioned this which makes me think you want people to praise you for being better than Child A’s parents.

OP my kids don't wear shoes in the house, they can go outside in their bare feet if they want, I do in the summer sometimes around my own house and garden (as long as it's not wet or very cold - I don't like cold feet)
My kids also get a shower on a Sunday evening, the older primary kids might get another shower during the week if they are getting stinky or if they have somewhere to go e.g. school play etc.
My curly girls hairs would be quite dry so I don't like to wash it too often.
We absolutely do still wear clothes around the house that have paint or Bolognese that hasn't been able to wash out fully (it's mostly the 4yo who wipes her face now her sleeve/shoulder/ whatever she can find 🙄) if I threw away everything with a slight stain they would be naked.

My almost 8yo girl HATES skirts and dresses and getting her hair done, yuck to any makeup, 4yo would walk around in a princess dress with a tiara and "make-up" (looking more like a clown) all day if she could, they are all different.

YouTube both adult and kids blocked on all devices in this house and we are absolutely NOT allowed to call people names or comment about peoples bodies.

Neither as not a judgey parent

This

This is a weird post . Child A sounds a tad extreme so comparing both kids isn’t really possible . Do you want permission to allow your child to be unkempt and scruffy ?

I’m 24 so young enough to have had a family laptop with YouTube we watched unrestricted so I completely agree with you, my oldest is 8 and doesn’t have a tablet I see loads of other kids do even toddlers I think the older parents just don’t realise because they didn’t grow up with it.
But I still think b is worse bath once a week means the kids must stink which isn’t just bad for them it could also mean being ostracised by the other kids being bullied etc.

Being messy is not neglect and a well presented child does not mean the child is being properly taken care of. When I look back at photos of us from childhood we would fit the into child b category, we were playing outside all day and my mum was definitely not prepared to wash a clean set of clothes each time we spilled food.on ourselves.

There has also been many, many times I've picked my own child up from nursery and she has resembled a Victorian street urchin. I couldn't do the once a week bath to be fair.

But considering the amount of research and warnings about screen time and devices for young kids, it's shocking that parents still give them to their children. And even more that they allow their kids to use them hours a day and let them keep them in their room.

I try not to judge parents but i would say neither match how I choose to look after my child at all.

Yeah, this. I wouldn't be impressed with the parenting on either side.

What about their bum and private parts? They really stink and get itchy if you don’t wash them regularly. Child B sounds like a happy active child so must get sweaty and smelly. Washing their body should be taught from very young that it’s non negotiable. Do they also have long black nails because they don’t like them being cut?

Thanks. Personally I found it helpful to shepherd DD through the bath every day as wind down, ready for bed time. Also she was usually filthy. Protocols change, I guess.

We were told by a doctor that the maximum should be every other day. Obviously you do need to wash everyday, but a full shower or bath can be harmful to sensitive skin.

I'm sorry, but you can absolutely smell these "free spirit" kids, even before they become teenagers and start smelling of sweat. Dirty clothes, stale unwashed bums and feet, unwashed pongy hair. Clothes that have grubby cuffs and crusty stains. I know its a choice, but why chose to look like your kids live under a bridge in a cardboard box?...

I'm beginning to think this thread is just to wind everyone up.

Assuming you are parent B I’d judge your parenting because you are on MN encouraging thousands of people trash a 6 year old girl and say your child is better in comparison.

You can say “I mean the parenting” all you like, but that’s not what you are doing.

If you don’t like the child/her parents/or her influence on your child then stop inviting her round to play.

This thread is pretty reprehensible.

I'd judge Child A. Child B sounds normal. My dd had ezema so I was told to nly bath her once a week. Ds is ND so didn't tolerate things like shoes, socks and hair brushing.

You decide for yourself how to rear and develop your child. If you feel you are being judged, then just challenge them. Nothing we can do about it.

No shoes in the house and garden? Oh ok! Isn’t this normal? Why mention it? It’s hardly important in this context. I don’t understand what you hoped to get from this post really.

I genuinely feel slightly ill at the idea of a child running around barefoot - with food down their clothes- being bathed once a week. That is quite simply neglect. Your child is going to be the 'smelly one' at school. It's not cool or relaxed or any other platitude you want to tell yourself, it's neglect.

Bathing once a week might have been normal
but people ALSO had a strip wash at the sink in between, often every day. Pits n Bits n Feet were cleaned every day.

Are you making sure your daughter’s feet and vulva/bum are clean OP??? She won’t need the armpits so much as she won’t be sweaty yet I wouldn’t think, but her genitals and feet certainly need more than once a week wash!

Food on clothes and unbrushed hair is just a no. You need to instill in your child that they need to take care of their personal hygiene themselves when they are old enough. This includes hair brushing, wiping faces, not dropping food all over themselves (and changing if their clothes are visibly dirty) and regular bathing. They might not be smelly now but they will be in a few years if they don’t have good hygiene habits.

Forget about child A and their family. Their judgement is irrelevant. You probably feel judged because you know, like all of us, that you could probably do a bit better for your child.

How about increasing it to two baths, and do her hair three times a week?

My son hates having his hair done, but it's tangly and curly, and it had to be done. Tangle cream followed by a shower in the morning is much more fun.

Both parents are not great.

I see that yours is child B - sorry that may be acceptable if you are impoverished and have no money for shoes, but generally speaking you are being a bad parent.