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Original poster

My cleaner wants to bring her baby to my house…

115 replies

That80show · 30/11/2025 21:37

Evening all,

My cleaner (she has only been once before) has a 8 month old baby and has called today to say that her child minder is no longer available to look after him so could she bring him on Friday when she cleans my house. She said that he won’t be of any bother as he will just sleep…

As a mum of a baby of a similar age I know just how demanding looking after a baby can be and highly doubt he will sleep for the 3 hours that she is at my house.
i know she has a husband but maybe he is working that day so is unable to look after their son.
On the one hand I feel bad because I know how difficult it can be to juggle motherhood and work so I was tempted to say well bring him just this once but that I won’t accept it on a regular basis.
On the other hand I can’t see her being able to focus on cleaning my house properly which I really need as I too have a young family and busy with work.

Am I being totally unreasonable in saying no I’m sorry this isn’t going to work?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 01/12/2025 11:12

I'd say no because it'd be a distraction.

opencecilgee · 01/12/2025 11:12

8m old? Yes sure. As long as the work is done

Feelingsunny · 01/12/2025 11:11

Speaking as an ex cleaner - I'd part company with her because she can't commit to a regular time each week. Wouldn't get as far as considering her bringing the baby.

She expects all the flexibility to come from you, nothing from her. She is supposed to do a 3 hour clean on the day you need her to, but already that isn't happening. She's expecting you to pay her for 3 hours, regardless of whether she gets less done because of anything she does to care for her child. Unreasonable.

25percentoffeverything · 01/12/2025 11:11

As a one-off, I would consider it. Knowing fully well she will work 2.5 hours, and not 3 - nappy change, possibly feeding, putting to sleep etc.

WHERE would the baby go? If you have upstairs downstairs playpen, where she can drop him, I can see how it would work. Again, ONCE. But only if there was a place for the baby

Some women are so desperate, they end up leaving a child alone at home. "Maid" was the most unrealistic program because she always had chilcare available on tap!

That would. be my Christmas good will action, but I'd be honest that I can't keep up paying for someone to not to the job.

Sartre · 01/12/2025 11:10

Definitely not. She’ll be distracted and won’t do a great job, plus the chemicals are dangerous. An 8 month old is a far cry from a newborn.

VikaOlson · 01/12/2025 11:09

I'm amazed by all these 8 month olds that sleep for 4 hours or will sit in a chair for 3 hours 😂Why have I never met any of them? I've only met the crawling around, everything in their mouth, wanting attention kinds.

Tdcp · 01/12/2025 11:08

I have an 8 month old, she sleeps for about an hour, total, during the day and needs a lot of attention as she's almost mobaaile and frustrated etc. yanu at all.

Daytimetellyqueen · 01/12/2025 11:07

EINSEINSNULL · 01/12/2025 08:02

Unfortunately that won't work for us.

This! I think you need to find another cleaner as she sounds wholly unreliable.

Chichichochi · 01/12/2025 11:05

kisaki333 · 30/11/2025 21:46

Ever hear of "be the change you want to see in the world?" We complain employers are inflexible, that having children is hard etc etc. So why make her life harder, she's a cleaner ffs, i am pretty sure her options are limited. If you say no, she probably won't come.
Let her bring the baby but just say can she please make sure she keeps the same standard of cleaning even if it takes her longer?

I thought the same thing. How hard is it to give her a chance and see how it goes. It’s not a professional setting. Love seeing mums supporting other mums 🙄

Homegrownberries · 01/12/2025 11:03

I'd try it once on the assumption that she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't really stuck. Sometimes women need to give each other a break. Men are never left holding the baby, unable to go to work.

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 11:03

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

Most businesses have this as a policy in place because it is unlikely you can do your job properly at the same time. I would think at that age they would want to crawl around as well? As a mother we should also all know that cleaning or any household chore takes longer when we have to watch a baby or toddler. Op is paying for a service to someone who has also only been once and already messed her about a bit.

SnowyPetals · 01/12/2025 11:01

My previous cleaner used to bring her 6 year old during the school holidays, but I think that would be the limit of what I would allow. That was an older child for a limited time, not a baby for an unspecified time.

osloslow · 01/12/2025 10:59

kisaki333 · 30/11/2025 21:46

Ever hear of "be the change you want to see in the world?" We complain employers are inflexible, that having children is hard etc etc. So why make her life harder, she's a cleaner ffs, i am pretty sure her options are limited. If you say no, she probably won't come.
Let her bring the baby but just say can she please make sure she keeps the same standard of cleaning even if it takes her longer?

Absolutely not. It’s dangerous, a health and safety ( and likely insurance ) concern, plus there is no way the cleaner will be able to get the job done to a decent standard.

nutbrownhare15 · 01/12/2025 10:59

I would say as a one off yes but you will have to see how it goes as you know it can be challenging to clean and care for a baby at the same time.

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 10:59

Cyclebabble · 01/12/2025 09:14

I would try and see how it goes. I am really conscious how difficult care can be for some of us and that gets harder when your income is lower. So if possible I would accommodate.

This is not op’s problem. She is paying for a service.

In most other professions, no way in hell would we be allowed to have our baby with us while we work.

Iocanepowder · 01/12/2025 10:57

No way.

Also i personally found childminders more unreliable than nursery for childcare so I would say it may become a more regular thing. I know it costs more but if she wants to be self employed she may be better off putting her baby in a nursery.

If she keeps pulling shit op then it’s also ok to let her go. I let my first cleaner go and now my current one is amazing.

caringcarer · 01/12/2025 10:57

I'd tell her yes but as a 1 off. I had a baby that slept up to 4 hours at a time and I had to wake him to feed him.

dunroamingfornow · 01/12/2025 10:55

In my experience cleaners start off great (mostly ) then gradually the standard tapers off. I wouldn’t agree to this. How can she clean properly with her child there? Is she really going to ignore an 8 month old for 3 whole hours ?! Doubt it !

Didimum · 01/12/2025 10:50

YANBU.

If it were me I would allow it this once just in case she is by and large a conscientious person and it's a genuine childcare disaster. I would ... 1) only pay her full amount if full cleaning is done 2) not accept it if she tries it on again.

VikaOlson · 01/12/2025 09:44

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

I childmind 8 month olds and have never known one to just sit in a chair with some toys??
Especially not sleep & sit for 3 hours...

pinkdelight · 01/12/2025 09:22

With your update, it's an easy no. She's been once, you've already had a load of issues with flexibility and now there's this other issue. It shouldn't be so hard getting your house cleaned. Say it's not gonna work for you and use an agency. You really don't need the hassle for someone who's been once and caused this much agg already.

Periperi2025 · 01/12/2025 09:15

My DD dropped to 1 nap a day a little older than 8 months and napped for 3-4 hours, so it is possible that she could do it.
I think you would need to be clear that she needs to do a certain amount and quality of cleaning, not be in your house for an alloted amount of time if she is going to try and work this way. If she spends time checking baby or settling baby that is on her time not yours.
Also consider the insurance implications of allowing an employees baby on your premises.
I'd consider giving her a short trial and see if she pulls it off.

Cyclebabble · 01/12/2025 09:14

I would try and see how it goes. I am really conscious how difficult care can be for some of us and that gets harder when your income is lower. So if possible I would accommodate.

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/12/2025 09:09

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 01/12/2025 08:34

Shocked by these replies. Of course it’s fine. The baby will sleep and when awake likely just sit in its chair with a snack or a few toys. She’s cleaning your house, not throwing knives in a circus.

I must say I find your inability to empathise with a mother seemingly on a low income quite shocking. What’s the alternative? She can’t come and not only do you not get a clean, she doesn’t get paid around Xmas?

and before anyone says it, I know it’s “work” and most people can’t take their children to work but let’s apply some logic here and see that this is completely doable if people weren’t so hell bent on strict corporate ideals. I’m sure she’s not thrilled about having to bring her baby either! It would be utterly mean not to imo.

Edited

I don't know of any 8 month old that would just sit in a chair with toys.

Or not make a mess when eating a snack.

Nightlight8 · 01/12/2025 08:57

No only because she has only cleaned your house once. However if you had known her a few years I would of said yes and made it clear it was a 1 off.