My sister is dating a sex offender

The woman is fifty four years old! OP is not her sister's keeper.

First reply nails it.

I'ts okay to not want to have anything to do with him, but she's your sister, who is making really dubious choices. There might come a time when she really needs you.

Agreed! I'd dread to think who else she'd bring in to the family if she thinks a registered sex offender is OK

I don't blame you. I don't know why so many people were telling you you needed to 'keep the door open'. No. She is 54 FFS, not some vulnerable ingenue. If you haven't learned sense at over 50 years old, hell mend you.

I know this is a revived thread, but I was once the girl unconscious at the party waking up to that. It fills me with rage. And I don’t say this lightly, but at least the man doing this to me was a peer (in terms of age, non-position of trust. From what I understand, this was a friend of his step daughter’s? So basically a child to him. It makes me feel so sick.

I would make it very clear to your sister that you love her but will not have anything to do with this man. It’s not to punish her for her choices, but to protect your life from his.

Have just come across this thread.
@Flup68 Have you had any contact with your sister since?

FWIW, I agree with you. She's 54, has access to the same information as you and still chooses to put herself in danger. You are right to look out for and protect your children IMO.

I know this is an old thread, but it's an interesting one.

It baffles me why The Times newspaper still employs India Knight. Her partner is Eric Joyce, who is a convicted sex offender who had downloaded the worst category-A images on his devices. He didn't do prison time because she vouched for him and supported him - to the extent that the reason he avoided prison is because she let him live with her. She has a disabled daughter who then had to move out of the home due to the convicted sex offender living there. Who fucking does that? Puts a paedo before their own vulnerable child?

And she still has a regular beauty column in The Times - so obviously they are okay with her association with Eric Joyce. The argument that she isn't the one who has committed an offence just doesn't wash with me. You certainly can be judged by the company you keep.

Why revive this thread?

Unfortunately its her life, and as abhorrent as he sounds she can do what she wants
I dont blame you however for.not wanting anything to do with them.

I'd cut her off. Totally. It's very odd she wants to date a sex offender. That's creepy.

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When I read your original post I thought that she must be young and naive, the fact that she is 54 puts a whole new slant on it. If she has got to that age and does not comprehend the enorormity of what he has done or does not want to do so then there is little hope for her. Horrible for you to see her involved with such a low life creep.

Keep your distance and never allow this man or your sister into your home while she is still with him. He is a clear danger to your own children.

Unfortunately some women are willing to put up with any man.
It's probably due to low self-esteem but I also think they do realize the danger but prefer any man rather than no man in their life. If she has a history of dating the wrong kind of man, she may simply believe this is how all men are and that there are no good ones out there at least not for her.

What kind of hold does this man have over her? It's concerning that she can brush this aside. I knew the bar was low for some women but you'd need to dig a trench under it to get lower than this.

I think you can make it clear how you feel without going NC. Meet her out occasionally, for lunch or coffee or whatever, keep the lines of communication open, make it clear that you'll be there if she needs you. I think going NC just risks isolating her and encouraging her into an 'us against the world' mentality regarding the OH, all pf which the OH can of course exploit.

People get drunk all the time, most of them do not sexually assault other people, those that do have to face the consequences.

If they really think, alcohol is the reason they are sex offenders they should just keep off the booze, especially if their step daughter is having a house party.

Does he have any conditions? SHPO ETC?

personally, I am more interested in that. She’s an adult and knows the risks

I feel digusted reading this. YANBU at all. Does your sister have really low self-esteem? What's her dating history like?

Why is she dating such a man? Has she low self esteem? Body image issues?

like, why is this the best man available to her?

yanbu, but I am also confused by the timeline. Have you just found out? Do you otherwise get on?

id be keeping my teenage girls far away from this man, so yanbu but i think I’d tell her she can come to you as soon as she regains her common sense

I dont think thats unreasonable, youve your own family to consider

I just mean if you love her, and think theres a chance hes got a hold on her id want to be open to communication to help her get to a safe place (which absolutely doesnt need to be your home) if she ever wakes up to the horror he is.

But while id leave a door open based on my own relationship with my sibling. I dont know what shes like prior to or outside of this stupid choice. I dont think its u reasonable if you cant find it in you to even have thay door open

The age doesn’t matter—he assaulted her because she was vulnerable. He will also be predatory towards younger children.