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Original poster

Trapped with gf, could lose everything

91 replies

stupididiotbastard · 30/11/2025 16:58

Trapped w/ gf who’s listed as co founder on our company

I stupidly listed my gf as a co founder on our shared company years ago. Trying to separate while maintaining the company (extremely profitable) would mean that I would lose a proportion of wealth that I’m not prepared to do.

I have fallen out of love with her after almost a decade together. I’ve met someone else and I want to leave her but I can’t. The current compromise is that we will be in an open relationship. I’ve fallen in love with someone else who is not comfortable with the open relationship.

I honestly don’t know what to do. Is there any way I can separate without her nuking my life and finances? Anyone have any experience with separating from a co director?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/11/2025 17:05

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 30/11/2025 17:03

My ex husband and I started a very successful business years ago, with me putting the bulk of the start up money in and being a co-director. However I did nothing else. He did all the leg work, finding clients, doing the work etc. I maybe helped online or answered the phone a few times (could probably count on one hand). When we were divorcing I happily signed it all to him. All I wanted was the money I put in at the start. He was happy with that and I got it back. Maybe talk to her and see if she’s agreeable. I know not all would be ok but I saw it as only fair. In our situation we have a daughter who the company would benefit as she grew older, that meant more to me than dragging him through the cleaners.

Would you have felt the same if you didn’t have a shared child and he fell in love with someone else while still with you? This could be a risky move given OP hasn’t behaved appropriately

Ponderingwindow · 30/11/2025 17:05

Do you and this girlfriend also happen to share children?

outerspacepotato · 30/11/2025 17:05

FAFO.

She is part owner. That's her wealth too.

Why don't you resolve your current relationship without trying to start another one until that's done?

Snorlaxo · 30/11/2025 17:05

You need to be a professional and pay her for her share of the company or make her an offer.

It’s not her fault that you’ve fallen in love with someone else - is it possible to be business colleagues but not lovers?

JLou08 · 30/11/2025 17:04

Shared business? But you are concerned about her financially nuking you? No thought about how she will feel if you take her business as well as ending her relationship because you've met someone else. You sound so selfish.

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 30/11/2025 17:03

My ex husband and I started a very successful business years ago, with me putting the bulk of the start up money in and being a co-director. However I did nothing else. He did all the leg work, finding clients, doing the work etc. I maybe helped online or answered the phone a few times (could probably count on one hand). When we were divorcing I happily signed it all to him. All I wanted was the money I put in at the start. He was happy with that and I got it back. Maybe talk to her and see if she’s agreeable. I know not all would be ok but I saw it as only fair. In our situation we have a daughter who the company would benefit as she grew older, that meant more to me than dragging him through the cleaners.

TidyCyan · 30/11/2025 17:02

It doesn't matter who is a director. Are you both shareholders? The specific benefits of being a director will be in your partnership agreement or contracts but aren't necessarily representative of an equal financial benefit so yes, you need a solicitor.

Ponderingwindow · 30/11/2025 17:02

It’s her company too. If you don’t want to deal with her on a regular basis anymore, get a loan and buy her out at fair market value.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/11/2025 17:01

Get legal advice and prepare to loose some money. You chose to add her as a co founder knowing what it meant, and you’ve chosen to fall in love with someone else whilst still in a relationship, you are a victim of yourself. Legal advice to make sure you don’t give away anything unnecessarily is a good idea, but then just come to terms with what they say and stop dragging this woman along while you love someone else, it’s not right and you risk ruining your future relationship

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 30/11/2025 17:01

I don't think you'll get the advice you're looking for here.
You might get your arse handed to you on a plate though.

DancingNotDrowning · 30/11/2025 17:01

You’re going to have to buy her out. That’s how it works 🤷‍♀️

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 30/11/2025 17:01

Buy her out. Yes, it will cost you, but you will just have to chalk this up as a learning experience.

OverlyFragrant · 30/11/2025 17:00

How utterly cowardly of you.
Stop stringing both along and wasting your poor girlfriends time, love and money.
She could be pouring her efforts into something or someone who gives her joy and instead is stuck with you who is only with her because it will cost money.
Grow some balls.

Ncforthis2244 · 30/11/2025 17:00

Well if she's a co-founder you offer to buy her out at a fair market value surely?

TheGirlWhoLived · 30/11/2025 16:59

You obviously liked her enough to list her as a co founder a decade ago? It’s a bit “you made your bed now lie in it”’

Dolamroth · 30/11/2025 16:59

You need legal advice. From a lawyer.

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