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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it's ok to leave the door open for 15 minutes each weekday?

371 replies

ILoveMyGonk · 30/11/2025 16:19

DS started secondary school this year and comes home himself on the bus. I'm at home working at my computer. Generally, when he gets home, he rings the doorbell and I go open the door for him. However, I now have a 15 minute on-camera meeting that exactly coincides with when he gets home, and obviously it gives a terrible impression if I need to leave during the meeting, even though it's only for a minute.

I want to leave the door unlocked, so he can just come in. (It also would need to be open just slightly, the way the lock works.)

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it.

AIBU to think it's okay to leave the door open? It's broad daylight, not a terribly crime-ridden area, and only 15 minutes. We even live opposite a primary school, and it's very busy that time of day. I can even see the path leading up to the door from where I'm working, though I'm not sure I could actually get to the door in time to close it if I saw someone concerning approaching.

OP posts:
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Monty34 · 30/11/2025 17:46

What would happen if someone else rang your doorbell during the meeting ?

I would not leave the door wide open or even ajar. He can ring the bell and you go and answer it.

You can always say to your boss that you will need to let your son in at some point etc.

TutTutTutSigh · 30/11/2025 17:46

He either stands outside for 15 minutes or takes a key.

The level of pandering to kids on here recently is through the roof!

*Edited to add, I'd also be fine leaving the door unlocked, but leaving it open would lose too much heat in winter.

SheinIsShite · 30/11/2025 17:45

People are nuts about door locking on MN. Ours is never locked unless we are out, or in bed asleep. Yes "anyone could walk right in" but in almost 20 years of living here, no-one ever has. Quiet area, end of a cul-de-sac, neighbours who are about during the day.

Agree though that if you are not going leave the door unlocked, the child takes a key.

RuthW · 30/11/2025 17:45

Ds has a choice. He either takes a key or waits outside 15 mins until you have finished.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/11/2025 17:44

ThreeSixtyTwo · 30/11/2025 17:43

Sounds like DH&DS problem.

Say DH you are not leaving your meetings any more. You are offering two options
You can leave the door open
DS can carry the keys.

If they don't like either solution
DS will wait for 15 minutes
Until they find some other solution which doesn't disturb your work.

DH can install the keysafe
DH can come home and let him in...

Why does DH have to install the key safe?!

tripleginandtonic · 30/11/2025 17:44

If he's old enough to ge left, he's old enough to take responsibility for a key.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 30/11/2025 17:43

openthewindoweveryday · 30/11/2025 16:23

I have my front door unlocked absolutely loads but I wouldn’t advise people to do this as I know it’s probably not the best thing to do.

Your DS needs to accept that he’ll have to carry a house key OR he’ll have to wait outside for 15 minutes.

Spot on. I guess DS has a phone he manages not to lose. He can do the same with a key for one day. Or wait for the call to finish

ThreeSixtyTwo · 30/11/2025 17:43

Sounds like DH&DS problem.

Say DH you are not leaving your meetings any more. You are offering two options
You can leave the door open
DS can carry the keys.

If they don't like either solution
DS will wait for 15 minutes
Until they find some other solution which doesn't disturb your work.

DH can install the keysafe
DH can come home and let him in...

blackrabbitwhiterabbit · 30/11/2025 17:42

My door is permanently unlocked if one of us is in.

RockaLock · 30/11/2025 17:41

Your son needs to take a key to school with him. If he’s old enough to travel to/from school by himself, he’s old enough to take carw of a key.

if he really doesn’t want to carry one in case he loses it, then he has to understand that the consequences of that are that he has to wait outside the front door until your meeting has finished and you can let him in 🤷‍♀️

Maxme · 30/11/2025 17:39

If DS is old enough to walk without an adult, he needs to carry a key.

Having said that unless you are on a main road or a high crime area 15 mins unlocked is a very low risk.

Lovelynames123 · 30/11/2025 17:38

Gosh, unless you live on a main road, right on the pavement, and are leaving the door wide open, it is fine!

I generally lock mine from the inside when I'm in, but if I'm expecting someone, eg my dps today, I'll unlock it, and it probably isn't locked again til they leave.

In normal suburbia the chance of someone coming in is so slim. If it's actually closed but unlocked who is likely to risk being caught breaking in in the middle of the day?! Just leave it unlocked, I wouldn't even have thought to ask anyone's opinion!

KimuraTan · 30/11/2025 17:37

Police approved key safe is your answer.

Unpaidviewer · 30/11/2025 17:36

Get a ring doorbell?

Beekman · 30/11/2025 17:34

You can actually see the front door from your desk? What are you concerned about then? Leaving it open for 15 minutes will be absolutely fine

Laura95167 · 30/11/2025 17:34

ILoveMyGonk · 30/11/2025 17:31

Answering a few questions... DS is autistic, highly resistant to change and risk averse, but also capable of carrying a key with any of the many good suggestions about how to keep it safe. Eventually, yes, I think we will convince him to do so, but it will probably take a while, as in months.

We have a back door, but I'm less comfortable leaving that unlocked, since I can't see it, like I can see the front. Also, I don't think DS or DH will think it's any more safe that way.

The way our front door works, we would need to leave it slightly ajar. If I shut it, it locks.

DH agrees that I shouldn't leave my work meeting, but hems and haws about maybe getting a keysafe, then the conversation ends, and I go another week having to leave my meetings before we have the same conversation again. I think he is also fine with DS having a key.

DS comes up with rube goldberg contraptions involving me lowering a key out the window and that wouldn't actually work.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/ZENO-Waterproof-Mounted-Combination-Resettable/dp/B095X3HZBB/ref=asc_df_B095X3HZBB?mcid=c599d6735cc13729bc5bd270d4c1b456&hvocijid=12611073154334770148-B095X3HZBB-&hvexpln=74&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696285193871&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12611073154334770148&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046752&hvtargid=pla-2281435177378&psc=1&gad_source=1

PruthePrune · 30/11/2025 17:33

Key on a bit of string worn around his neck.

usedtobeaylis · 30/11/2025 17:32

If your front door is in a garden or back from the street, yes. I would do this. I think a key or keysafe would be a good idea for the future though. They're really easy to use. My mum has one at her door as she has little mobility so family and her cleaner can access.

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 30/11/2025 17:32

What an absolute non issue ffs.

Original poster
ILoveMyGonk · 30/11/2025 17:31

Answering a few questions... DS is autistic, highly resistant to change and risk averse, but also capable of carrying a key with any of the many good suggestions about how to keep it safe. Eventually, yes, I think we will convince him to do so, but it will probably take a while, as in months.

We have a back door, but I'm less comfortable leaving that unlocked, since I can't see it, like I can see the front. Also, I don't think DS or DH will think it's any more safe that way.

The way our front door works, we would need to leave it slightly ajar. If I shut it, it locks.

DH agrees that I shouldn't leave my work meeting, but hems and haws about maybe getting a keysafe, then the conversation ends, and I go another week having to leave my meetings before we have the same conversation again. I think he is also fine with DS having a key.

DS comes up with rube goldberg contraptions involving me lowering a key out the window and that wouldn't actually work.

OP posts:
FestiveFruitloop · 30/11/2025 17:31

Personally it wouldn't bother me to leave door unlocked for that length of time, but a keysafe is your answer OP.

U0KHun · 30/11/2025 17:30

Jesus! Just give the young adult a key FFS

Noshadelamp · 30/11/2025 17:28

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it. @ILoveMyGonk

Why is he so anxious about losing a key?
Why is it such a big deal?

I mean, yes, he probably will lose it a few times, most kids do (my DS lost his key twice a year all through high school, ADHD tax 😅)

Make sure the key isn't kept in his wallet or anything else identifying.

What does your DH suggest?

Also it seems by your post that your DH is anxious and passing that anxiety on to ds.
Carrying a key is normal.
Leaving the door unlocked for 15 mins whilst you're in the house is fine.

Refusing and worries about safety seem a bit OTT. Don't enable them, don't pander to them or they'll never build resilience.

Polyestered · 30/11/2025 17:28

Do people lock the door when they are in their own house? Really?!? This amazes me! Mine is always unlocked.

MikeRafone · 30/11/2025 17:28

HeddaGarbled · 30/11/2025 17:15

DS and DH both think this is way too unsafe and refuse. DS is also refusing to carry a key, as he is afraid of losing it

Fairly standard male disregard for how important your work is. I’d tell your son he can sit on the doorstep until you’re free unless he can come up with a better idea (now what might that possibly be?)

Agree

actually id give this problem to your ds to solve, how will he get into the house without you answering the door. Hand the responsibility to him

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