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To be so annoyed with bloody paternalistic NHS

261 replies

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:34

I am a lifetime migraine sufferer and as I'm getting closer to menopause they are getting worse in frequency and severity. At least half of all days I wake up with some form of aura, go through packs of nurofen and sumatriptan. Anyways it's been years since I considered any intervention other than just taking meds when one coming on (not necessary as not that frequent through adulthood), but I gather from talking to others there are some really effective meds available now which can prevent them entirely.

Go to GP who looks at recent bloodwork done to check my hormones and says as I'm still fertile and having periods, he can't prescribe in case I get pregnant while on them. I explain I have 2 kids and don't want more. In fact, can't technically have more anyway due to birth injury with second. And husband has had vasectomy to prevent accidental pregnancy as due to birth injury I could get pregnant but couldn't carry baby to anywhere near term. Which is beside the point as I do not want any more kids anyway.

Anyway doc says I still can't have the meds and the rule is for women of childbearing age the rule is they need to go to a special clinic with a 12 month waiting list and do all the steps first (elimination diet etc... I have TRIED THIS OVER 30 YEARS) and prove I'm not pregnant.

I mean what is with these people? If I was a man, I would have just got the meds to prevent a very debilitating condition. But because I'm a woman I can't have the meds 'in case' I become pregnant as though I'm just a uterus on legs who can't think for myself and decide not to become pregnant? Why is my word not enough that I will not have an affair with a non-vasectomied man and get myself up the spout. Ridiculous.

OP posts:
gemma9239 · 30/11/2025 16:01

ChloeMorningstar · 30/11/2025 15:34

How is that similar?

Not being prescribed needed medication "in case you get pregnant" is nothing like neglecting your children's education for a week or 2 in the sun

I explained how it is similar - 'nanny state blanket guidelines implying that we are all too stupid to make sensible decisions for ourselves!'

That is where the similarities end I agree but it was where my thoughts went. Not trying to belittle the issue here just adding another dimension to the conversation.

LeonMccogh · 30/11/2025 16:00

Bet that doctor still thinks TWAW though.

PunishmentRoundupWithJoon · 30/11/2025 16:00

OP, ignore @Extragreen - it's clear they are one of those goady posters. I have reported them and some of their posts have been deleted. I would encourage others to do the same with all of @Extragreens posts if they are similarly goady.

Nothing you say will satisfy them. They will pick holes in everything you say. There are many of this type of poster on mumsnet at the moment, and the best thing to do is deny them oxygen. It's best not to address any of their posts as they are not posting in the right spirit and only wish to minimise your very valid concerns. Simply ignore them! (sorry, didn't meant to derail!)

And good luck getting help with your migraines!

CantSeeTheWolfForTheTrees · 30/11/2025 15:58

The GP will need to follow the pregnancy prevention programme which I linked above if the OP wants topiramate or sodium valproate.,

itsgettingweird · 30/11/2025 15:56

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:43

Because of your migraines? Not as a policy for all women in their 40s presumably?!

I was not allowed the pill from 40.

think I could have the mini pill but was advised to have mirena.

Neither worked so I had a hysterectomy but mine was adenomyosis.

OP o agree with you. I can understand why if there’s serve birth defect risk they make this call as it’s unethical to force an abortion however things should also be case by case and your own medical history doesn’t allow a continued pregnancy so there is
no reason for them to assume that risk.

Pearlmaster500 · 30/11/2025 15:52

Ask for an appointment with another gp. I suffered with seriously bad acne for years I was practically begging the same gp to get me referred for roaccutane treatment he wouldn’t for years kept coming up with excuses so I just asked for another gp (god knows why I didn’t think of this sooner) this was years ago though and I always seemed to have the same dr but as soon as I saw a different one he referred me for what I asked for

FarmGirl78 · 30/11/2025 15:49

Have a copper coil fitted? That's not hormonal. Would they consider you then?

TheignT · 30/11/2025 15:47

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:38

If I could just mail order a hysterectomy I would do. But it's not that easy, you can't just ask for one just because.

I did and got one. Almost stopped migraines. Completely, same with cold sores. Was the most wonderful thing imaginable. I might have a migraines once a year instead of every month and they aren't as bad.

Ifeellikeateenageragain · 30/11/2025 15:47

user67392167904 · 30/11/2025 14:49

Yes - my GP stopped combined hormone pill late 30’s. Think I was 38 or 39. Offered the coil instead but I wasn’t so keen on that. I think they let you take the mini pill into your 40’s but definitely not keen on prescribing the combined pill once your older.

44 year old here who just went BACK on the combined pill. Or are women on here CHOOSING not to go on the pill? Which is fine, but it's not a rule.

SquareHead37 · 30/11/2025 15:44

Have you had a brain scan?

ShesTheAlbatross · 30/11/2025 15:44

gemma9239 · 30/11/2025 15:15

I agree with you, it's a similar thing to not being allowed to take your kids on holiday during term time. Just nanny state blanket guidelines implying that we are all too stupid to make sensible decisions for ourselves!

On another note, have you been checked for chiari malformation (a brain scan would pick it up) just woth you saying you've had long term migraines which are getting worse xx

It’s really not a similar thing at all. This is a medical condition having a significant negative effect on OP’s quality of life.

iloveeverykindofcat · 30/11/2025 15:43

user67392167904 · 30/11/2025 14:44

They’re pretty reluctant to let women have a hysterectomy, even with extreme debilitating symptoms so there’d be no chance for migraines.

It’s so annoying OP. I’d be tempted to make another appointment and take your DH with you, maybe if he confirms he doesn’t want anymore kids the GP will relent!

This is true, and I also hate this. I have endometriosis that has caused extreme pain, multiple cysts including one surgical emergency torsion, and anemia so severe that my ferritin count has been seven. Not seventeen - seven. I have always known I did not want children. I knew it when I was a teenager and I have never wavered on it (I'm now 38). I could have been spared so much with a single surgery. They can even do it keyhole now and people can be recovered in 2 weeks. In the long term I would have used up far less NHS time, resources, appointments and prescriptions. I would be more than happy to sign some sort of legal disclaimer that said if I regret this the doctor has no accountability. But women aren't trusted to know our own minds I guess.

OP YANBU.

rwalker · 30/11/2025 15:43

They need a hard line because people lie the doctor has no way of knowing what you are telling him is true

Isthismykarma · 30/11/2025 15:42

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 15:41

A pregnancy test would have taken a few minutes

2 hours because they did it as a blood test and also so what if it was two minutes I could’ve died in that time 🤣

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 15:41

Isthismykarma · 30/11/2025 15:36

I have a copper coil and was refused life saving medication in a&e until the pregnancy test came back negative, it’s unbelievable at times.

A pregnancy test would have taken a few minutes

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 15:40

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Toddlerteaplease · 30/11/2025 15:39

I’m about to start medication that you can’t get pregnant on. I said It was very unlikely to happen. And he said ok, but he had to make me aware and that was that. Not an issue.

BloodyHellRonWeasley · 30/11/2025 15:39

PinkFootstool · 30/11/2025 14:43

Is it topiramate?

If so, you're not missing anything. Dreadful drug, I was being tested for blood cancers and other diseases because the side effects were so bad and the GP couldn't see how it could be that. It was.

I completely agree. The side effects of the topirimate were so bad, the migraines were preferable.

Isthismykarma · 30/11/2025 15:36

I have a copper coil and was refused life saving medication in a&e until the pregnancy test came back negative, it’s unbelievable at times.

FirmOliveReader · 30/11/2025 15:36

LikeMaria · 30/11/2025 15:14

This. Medical misogyny is far too common. Women aren't walking incubators.

It's not medical misogyny FFS. OP is of child bearing age and isn't using contraception and wants a medication where the GP can't prescribe unless the OP is using contraception.

It's very simple. She's not a victim of anything.

ChloeMorningstar · 30/11/2025 15:34

gemma9239 · 30/11/2025 15:15

I agree with you, it's a similar thing to not being allowed to take your kids on holiday during term time. Just nanny state blanket guidelines implying that we are all too stupid to make sensible decisions for ourselves!

On another note, have you been checked for chiari malformation (a brain scan would pick it up) just woth you saying you've had long term migraines which are getting worse xx

How is that similar?

Not being prescribed needed medication "in case you get pregnant" is nothing like neglecting your children's education for a week or 2 in the sun

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 15:25

Iloveyoubut · 30/11/2025 15:24

I must have just completely misread you.

What did you think? 😵‍💫

Iloveyoubut · 30/11/2025 15:24

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I must have just completely misread you.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 15:23

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