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To be so annoyed with bloody paternalistic NHS

261 replies

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:34

I am a lifetime migraine sufferer and as I'm getting closer to menopause they are getting worse in frequency and severity. At least half of all days I wake up with some form of aura, go through packs of nurofen and sumatriptan. Anyways it's been years since I considered any intervention other than just taking meds when one coming on (not necessary as not that frequent through adulthood), but I gather from talking to others there are some really effective meds available now which can prevent them entirely.

Go to GP who looks at recent bloodwork done to check my hormones and says as I'm still fertile and having periods, he can't prescribe in case I get pregnant while on them. I explain I have 2 kids and don't want more. In fact, can't technically have more anyway due to birth injury with second. And husband has had vasectomy to prevent accidental pregnancy as due to birth injury I could get pregnant but couldn't carry baby to anywhere near term. Which is beside the point as I do not want any more kids anyway.

Anyway doc says I still can't have the meds and the rule is for women of childbearing age the rule is they need to go to a special clinic with a 12 month waiting list and do all the steps first (elimination diet etc... I have TRIED THIS OVER 30 YEARS) and prove I'm not pregnant.

I mean what is with these people? If I was a man, I would have just got the meds to prevent a very debilitating condition. But because I'm a woman I can't have the meds 'in case' I become pregnant as though I'm just a uterus on legs who can't think for myself and decide not to become pregnant? Why is my word not enough that I will not have an affair with a non-vasectomied man and get myself up the spout. Ridiculous.

OP posts:
Dullday · 30/11/2025 14:57

This is unfortunately how the NHS works. I'm grateful that I have a son with epilepsy not a daughter, the hoops girls are forced through to get certain meds, it's awful. Not one but two types of contraception with no consideration of their own health, and even then they are demeaned and often aren't trusted to manage their own fertility.
But if you are managing, I wouldn't be looking at topiramate unless you are desperate.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:56

FirmOliveReader · 30/11/2025 14:55

Yep.

And knowing a child with foetal valporate syndrome where the Mother insisted she couldn't possibly get pregnant but did and then had a child with severe disabilities might be why the GP doesn't want to take the risk.

I get that it's shit for OP but MN has frequent threads from OPs who were absolutely sure they wouldn't get pregnant and then did.

Exactly

and a GP cant factor in what the husband is doing because the patient must be seen in complete isolation.

Naws · 30/11/2025 14:55

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:50

But neither can I!

My husband has had a vasectomy.
I cannot carry a pregnancy due to birth injury.

Not being able to carry a baby doesn't mean you can't get pregnant.

And apparently 'I'm not the brightest spark'? 😳

wirefluff · 30/11/2025 14:55

It is true that having migraine with aura is a risk factor than can prevent you from getting certain kinds of oral contraception. I've been denied the pill in the past and I ended up getting a copper coil to access certain medications. Others require an implant or injection which is usually sanctioned by the treating neurologist in tandem with specific medications.

FirmOliveReader · 30/11/2025 14:55

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Yep.

And knowing a child with foetal valporate syndrome where the Mother insisted she couldn't possibly get pregnant but did and then had a child with severe disabilities might be why the GP doesn't want to take the risk.

I get that it's shit for OP but MN has frequent threads from OPs who were absolutely sure they wouldn't get pregnant and then did.

HelenaWaiting · 30/11/2025 14:54

Sumatriptan. Usually sold as Imigran. You want the nasal spray, not the tablets. It acts as a preventative if you take it as soon as symptoms appear. You can get it online without prescription but it's expensive so check with your GP first.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:53

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MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:53

Rebecca230 · 30/11/2025 14:52

I'm sorry OP I have migraines too and they're a nightmare. 💐 This place, the national migraine centre, does remote appointments and can potentially prescribe the new migraine medications, it could be worth a try but unfortunately you do have to pay. https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk/
If private isn't an option I would try and find a new GP, maybe a woman would be better?
Treating women as if the only thing that matters is having children, and as if their own health and suffering are irrelevant compared to a non-existent fetus, is dreadful.
They should just offer you the treatment and warn you that it’s not advisable to get pregnant while on it. Anything more is massively overstepping, imo.

Yes, this! Thank you!

And thanks for the links x

OP posts:
Rebecca230 · 30/11/2025 14:52

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:34

I am a lifetime migraine sufferer and as I'm getting closer to menopause they are getting worse in frequency and severity. At least half of all days I wake up with some form of aura, go through packs of nurofen and sumatriptan. Anyways it's been years since I considered any intervention other than just taking meds when one coming on (not necessary as not that frequent through adulthood), but I gather from talking to others there are some really effective meds available now which can prevent them entirely.

Go to GP who looks at recent bloodwork done to check my hormones and says as I'm still fertile and having periods, he can't prescribe in case I get pregnant while on them. I explain I have 2 kids and don't want more. In fact, can't technically have more anyway due to birth injury with second. And husband has had vasectomy to prevent accidental pregnancy as due to birth injury I could get pregnant but couldn't carry baby to anywhere near term. Which is beside the point as I do not want any more kids anyway.

Anyway doc says I still can't have the meds and the rule is for women of childbearing age the rule is they need to go to a special clinic with a 12 month waiting list and do all the steps first (elimination diet etc... I have TRIED THIS OVER 30 YEARS) and prove I'm not pregnant.

I mean what is with these people? If I was a man, I would have just got the meds to prevent a very debilitating condition. But because I'm a woman I can't have the meds 'in case' I become pregnant as though I'm just a uterus on legs who can't think for myself and decide not to become pregnant? Why is my word not enough that I will not have an affair with a non-vasectomied man and get myself up the spout. Ridiculous.

I'm sorry OP I have migraines too and they're a nightmare. 💐 This place, the national migraine centre, does remote appointments and can potentially prescribe the new migraine medications, it could be worth a try but unfortunately you do have to pay. https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk/
If private isn't an option I would try and find a new GP, maybe a woman would be better?
Treating women as if the only thing that matters is having children, and as if their own health and suffering are irrelevant compared to a non-existent fetus, is dreadful.
They should just offer you the treatment and warn you that it’s not advisable to get pregnant while on it. Anything more is massively overstepping, imo.

National Migraine Centre - specialist migraine clinic

Get expert help: book a consultation now with a leading headache doctor anywhere in the UK. Charity with free factsheets, podcast and help.

https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:50

Naws · 30/11/2025 14:46

A man wouldn't be in the same circumstance!

They can't get pregnant.

But neither can I!

My husband has had a vasectomy.
I cannot carry a pregnancy due to birth injury.

OP posts:
OhDear111 · 30/11/2025 14:50

Ask a private doctor? Get a second opinion. Yes, you can take the pill beyond 37.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:50

what the migraine meds they’ve said no to op?

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:49

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Hormone-based ones yes, that was what I've been told. The docs stopped prescribing the pill when I was 37. I did double check with another who agreed.

Obviously we can use barrier methods but as I still technically could get pregnant that wouldn't help in this case.

OP posts:
user67392167904 · 30/11/2025 14:49

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Yes - my GP stopped combined hormone pill late 30’s. Think I was 38 or 39. Offered the coil instead but I wasn’t so keen on that. I think they let you take the mini pill into your 40’s but definitely not keen on prescribing the combined pill once your older.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:48

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wirefluff · 30/11/2025 14:46

Sodium Valproate is usually the medication they give you that has a high risk of birth defects and they do try to avoid using it in childbearing age women. It's usually only proscribed by a Neurologist though.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:46

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Naws · 30/11/2025 14:46

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 30/11/2025 14:41

No, you are missing the point.

She is an adult woman, capable of managing her own fertility who should not need to prove to the medical system that she is not or will not become pregnant.

And yes it's an effing disgrace that a man in the same circumstances wouldn't have to wait at all. The solution would be a simple waiver form where you sign saying that you understand the risks and accept the consequences.

A man wouldn't be in the same circumstance!

They can't get pregnant.

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:45

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:43

Because of your migraines? Not as a policy for all women in their 40s presumably?!

I was told it was (again by a male doctor? Maybe others have had different experiences?). Husband really wasn't keen on the snip so I did try to argue my case given I'm fit and healthy and no side effects but they were firm I wasn't allowed it any more.

OP posts:
user67392167904 · 30/11/2025 14:44

Naws · 30/11/2025 14:37

I don't understand what you're not understanding.

That men can't get pregnant?

Could you have a hysterectomy to prevent pregnancy, therefore putting you on an even footing with men?

They’re pretty reluctant to let women have a hysterectomy, even with extreme debilitating symptoms so there’d be no chance for migraines.

It’s so annoying OP. I’d be tempted to make another appointment and take your DH with you, maybe if he confirms he doesn’t want anymore kids the GP will relent!

wirefluff · 30/11/2025 14:44

Your GP is totally incorrect on this, you need to go and see a different GP at the practice or another surgery for a different opinion. You should be able to get first line treatments from your GP no issue. They should also be looking at your usage of Sumatriptan and Painkillers as these can cause medication over use headache. Usually you need to try at least two first line treatments such a beta blockers and atogeopant before you'll be referred to a neurologist. Go back and see another doctor urgently!

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:44

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PinkFootstool · 30/11/2025 14:43

Is it topiramate?

If so, you're not missing anything. Dreadful drug, I was being tested for blood cancers and other diseases because the side effects were so bad and the GP couldn't see how it could be that. It was.

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:43

MyKindHiker · 30/11/2025 14:43

Yes, the pill. They stopped prescribing when I was 37. So that's when husband got snipped.

Because of your migraines? Not as a policy for all women in their 40s presumably?!

Extragreen · 30/11/2025 14:43

What medication is this OP?