To go away at Christmas due to being asked to help with elderly mother

So why were your siblings treated so differently to you? Some of the behaviour you found unacceptable must have occurred with them too. On this basis it is your issue, and you have found your solution to it. There is a lack of communication if they don’t understand your perspective. This needs solving. I also wonder how much time you have taken to understand their alternative perspective. You don’t have to agree but you really should take time to listen to each other and respect different views and feelings.
personally I’m not in favour of cutting family off. We wouldn’t necessarily choose them as friends, but they are your family and it’s selfish to be rude or go nc.

Tell your sisters you don't want any inheritance from the abuser, and they have to pay for the days they are not there to look after her, since they are the ones who will benefit financially. Not your problem.

If you simply don't answer the door, what will they do?

Just say no, you're not doing it, and leave it at that. Your mum doesn't need 3 days of Christmas anyway - I'm close to mine and she'll still only see us on Christmas Day. They can do one day each if they choose to, and on the other day she can stay wherever she lives.

Oh this has made me cross!! You suffered childhood abuse and are low contact with your mother for a reason.
Your sisters are now adding to your distress and trauma by being vile. That’s really awful.

I hope your sister with the new baby thinks long and hard as to whether she wants her child to be seeing her grandmother. But I doubt it.

No advice other than I’d do exactly what you’re planning and go away. I’d also consider not being in contact with any of them from here on in. Do you think you could do that? I know it’s not as easy as sitting and typing it and I don’t say it lightly.

I also hope you have support from people in ‘real life’.

You are not being unreasonable, you are protecting yourself - no one else seems to be. Sending you strength and good wishes. Do what you have to do to protect yourself. Xx

What us this.about. I dont ubderstand. Is it something like the child was sexually abused by a step parent and the mother turned a blind eye or somethjng ?

You can refuse that’s your choice and nobody here is judging you, but for whatever reasons your sisters do not understand why you do not want contact. You needs to re explain your childhood experience and that you do not have contact. They will need to engage professional help

Yep, go away. If you can afford it, do an extra day either side as well in case they try to catch you out. I'd rather spend all Christmas in a Premier Inn than be in that situation, although if you can afford a lovely country hotel somewhere then do that.

Surely they can't just dump her on you? Be very clear with them that you are away for Christmas and will be away for every holiday from here on in.

This. They cannot force a relationship or responsibility. Their lack of empathy for you is also worrying. You’re doing the right thing by protecting yourself. 🌸

If I were you I'd book somewhere, if you can possibly afford it. Let your sisters know that you intend going away for Christmas every year from now on. If they're really struggling I do feel sorry for them (a bit) but it's not your responsibility to help, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Why the hell should she?!?!

You would not be unreasonable in the slightest. I think you siblings are (consciously or not) ignoring your abusive childhood as it is never nice to think your own mother can do that but in your shoes I would make sure to remind them explicitly every time they try to get you involved: « I’m never going to care for the woman who hit me / humiliated me / did x to me, and the fact she didn’t do it to you doesn’t change anything for me ».

You don’t have to go away … but if you find it hard to say no then you should. You don’t owe her or them anything. Nothing. If they want to stay trapped in their delusion and they don’t care about what she’s done to you … they’re nothing to you. And I know that’s actually really hard because it means you have no one. I know that. But don’t let them use you … and honestly … when the day comes I’d you don’t go away you can’t talk to me… so post here and you’ll get support, I’ll be doing the same thing over the three days so stay strong if you can and post on here because you’re not alone.

They can't do that. They can't recruit you just because it's inconvenient for them this year. Their choice is to be part of her life, but you have chosen not to be. Why can't they accept that.

What issues does your mother have that she can't be left alone? Tell your mother that you won't be hosting her, & not to come to your home.

if you ever move i wouldn't give any of them your address.

Definitely NBU - go away, tell them you are going away - do not tell them the dates in case they think they can drop her off before you go!

I feel the same. I can't imagine ever regretting going NC. What exactly would I miss out on? My parents treated me horribly and they aren't going to change or see their mistakes. I have peace now and I will never give that up again.

Why should OP pay for that? If that's what her sisters want to do, they can pay for it.

Book yourself a trip and go enjoy it.

Id keep it short and just say that you won't be available caring for you mother at any point. Remember that you are totally entitled to do that.

Your sisters resent you, but that is their feeling to deal with. They don't have to care for her either. They just don't want to assert themselves and only do what they can and are willing to. It takes something to do that but that is theirs to carry.

You will have to deal with the feeling of guilt when you say no. I'm guessing you are used to that though!?

YANBU!
Do what you feel you need to do.

OP definetly doesn't need a good talk with them, they know she's extremely low contact with their mother so they must know at least a bit of what's gone on.

Their flying monkeys

You have the right to say no, and they have no right to bulldoze your boundaries. Personally I wouldn’t be driven out of my own home at Christmas, I would lock all the windows and doors and call the police if they dumped a vulnerable elderly person on my doorstep. But I am a veteran of an abusive mother and a family with no boundaries.

OP definetly doesn't need a good talk with them, they know she's extremely low contact with their mother so they must know at least a bit of what's gone on.

Their flying monkeys