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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DH have whole day in bed ...

61 replies

wonder456 · 30/11/2025 13:19

...when hungover? I had both kids from lunchtime yesterday and took them overnight to grandmas for us to stay ..kept them out away from home so DH could rest.. just got home and asked if I could have some downtime this afternoon but DH says he's still not feeling good and can't help out this afternoon.. I feel it's a bit unfair AIBU?

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 30/11/2025 13:35

Honestly I think it depends. My DH doesn’t drink anymore, but when he did this never once happened. And he’d have to be at death’s door from an illness before he stayed in bed with it. So if he were to ever tell me he needed a day in bed, I’d be fine with it because it’s literally never happened in the 10+ yrs we’ve been together.

If it was a frequent thing, then he’s taking the piss.

Marmalade71 · 30/11/2025 13:33

Never take the kids out of their own home to create peace for someone who can’t manage their drinking.

Iloveacurry · 30/11/2025 13:28

Just make sure you have some downtime next weekend. At least 24 hours I’d say.

Luckyingame · 30/11/2025 13:25

HoskinsChoice · 30/11/2025 13:22

If it's a regular thing, absolutely not. If its a one off, let him recover.

This. He cannot "perform" well with kids and household if hungover.

NachoChip · 30/11/2025 13:25

It depends entirely on the context. If this is a rare/special occasion, he needed a break to let his hair down, he had a good time, he's appropriately apologetic and will return the favour giving you an equal break, I'd let him have the day to recover with a smile.

If this is a regular thing, the balance of support/breaks isn't equal and he doesn't acknowledge what he's asking of you then I'd be telling him where to get off.

CandyCaneKisses · 30/11/2025 13:24

You’ve done too much by taking the kids to stay elsewhere. Stop pandering to his selfish ways.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 30/11/2025 13:24

It’s not ‘helping out’, it’s parenting.

When’s the last time you got a night out followed by a full day in bed?

HoskinsChoice · 30/11/2025 13:22

If it's a regular thing, absolutely not. If its a one off, let him recover.

Newname71 · 30/11/2025 13:21

If it’s a one off I’d let it go. If it happens frequently, then no I wouldn’t be making it easy for him.

lazyarse123 · 30/11/2025 13:21

Selfish twat. No advice but it would be the last time i was that considerate.

Lifeneedsaresetagain · 30/11/2025 13:21

@wonder456 don’t ask for down time. Tell him. Go out for a few hours and leave the kids with him.