Would I be unreasonable to track someone down through their workplace?

Also, I work in an office of 11 people, there are 3 people with the same name and 2 people of a different same name. Finding the right "Sarah" is just a daft idea.

Common sense prevents them from engaging in this at all.

I can’t believe I’m having to explain this but imagine, for example, the woman being hunted down was a victim of domestic violence or witness to a crime resulting in intimidation or harassment. Can you begin to imagine how threatening a message to “get in touch” and phone number would be under such circumstances????

Presumably, you think the employer should pass on OP's telephone number to every Sophie (or whatever name) in their company?

If you think any serious employer is going to waste company time chasing round their employees to satisfy some random stranger's obsession you are even more batshit than OP!

Well they wouldn't say that, would they? They would simply forward on a copy of OP's email everyone in the region at the company called Sophie, saying something like "Please feel free to ignore."

And no, it's not their business and they don't have to - but most organisations (even the large ones) still try to be personable.

And if they refuse - what has the OP lost and what harm has she done? (Confidential calls in Costa aside - which is an entirely different topic)

I work for a textile manufacturer, I would be sacked if I had a meeting in a coffee shop as the meeting contains sensitive information... about manufacturing textiles, not vulnerable children!

As for contacting her through work, LinkedIn, leaving numbers at a coffee shop, online stalking, it IS weird and you should put a pin in it and move on. You can't call and ask if someone works at a business, they're not allowed to tell you due to gdpr which you should know all about given your job but clearly ignore it regardless. It's actually disturbing how you think that this is all okay.

She might not be who you think after all this anyway.

Cannot believe you held a care planning meeting in a coffee shop, where’s the confidentiality for the kids? The mind boggles!

Why should the organisation do that? It's not their business to pass on messages to employees who might not even be the person OP is looking for.

If my employer handed me a telephone number and asked me if I was in Costa last week eavesdropping on a confidential meeting, I would think they were acting very inappropriately.

What prevents them from saying that?

And if they don't say that and just say "Sorry - cannot take your number" - has the OP lost anything or done any harm?

You presume incorrectly.

No.
The post I responded to was rather different, though?

Do you really think repeatedly haranguing someone who's made it clear they're not going to engage is going to help?

They would presumably say "We cannot confirm if we have a Sophie here or not - we are a big organisation and I would have to check, but we can take your number and will pass it on if there is anyone by that name".

Hey presto.

Honestly, between the horrifically inappropriate choice of venue to discuss a traumatised child’s care, your lack of care of someone else’s personal contact details, your willingness to trust a stranger and your weird need to stalk them through their workplace- i am appalled.

Do you really think she’s got the message? Pretty much every post op made relates to her “not seeing the issue”.
There appear to be more than one issue she’s blind to.

My thought exactly. It should be confidential!

I think thats enough of a pile on and repetitive scolding of OP. I'm sure she's got the message by now.

@OneShyBear You have no idea who this woman really was. "She said" she was a foster carer. She could have been anyone.

@OneShyBear Can we talk about why you were carrying out a meeting like that in a public place. You say you had headphones in so no one could hear but everyone can hear what you’re saying! My adult son is known to social care due to his complex disabilities and if I had got wind that his social worker was discussing his needs over a computer in a coffee shop I would be going nuts and make sure you were appropriately disciplined. That’s a huge breach of confidentiality.

No, you’ve misunderstood. Even by taking the number the employer has indirectly confirmed that they do indeed have an employee called X and so on. Which is why so many posters have pointed out they won’t engage at all with the suggestion.

What is the difficulty with understanding this? Why are people encouraging OP in all this?

I think you have misunderstood.

OP is not saying she would ask for confirmation. She would simply ask that HER phone number be passed to anyone at that organisation with that name who might've been in the area that day. I don't think she's suggesting that the organisation confirm whether or not anyone there DOES in fact have that name.

I agree that it would not be reasonable for the employer to confirm that someone with that name did or did not work for them.

hello pompous! Very few people would report on themselves 😂 even the most ethical!

I think you need to move on. It’s sounding obsessive!

Op it would have been better to do the meeting in your car. It’s a massive safeguarding issue that you were in a Costa discussing this and she overheard the whole meeting I wonder who else did.

Do you think your employer would be acting reasonably if they confirmed to a complete stranger that you work for them and agreed to get involved with them in a matter completely unrelated to your employment?

Thankfully, most reputable employers take their responsibility to their employees seriously and would refuse.

In fact, I would recommend you report yourself to your local authority and request training