AIBU to push back when shops ask for my details when I just want to pay?

We cross-posted, but I had the same thought!

I'm still not 100% convinced that it works for them, though. It's far from uncommon for big bosses to have their great new ideas that turn out to be a complete failure, but they won't listen to any counter-arguments or reason.

For all we know, they could be ascribing falling sales to 'more people shopping online instead' and so desperately trying to reverse the trend by grabbing email addresses for marketing saturation - all the while never understanding or acknowledging that their aggressive demands for email addresses are a very big direct factor in customers abandoning them!

I remember being harangued at a furniture showroom by a salesman after I'd agreed to spend a lot of money of a leather suite. Did I want this insurance - no thanks. What is somebody spilt red wine on it - nobody will be drinking red wine on my couch. What if a dog ripped it - no dogs will be in my house and so it went on and on and on.
If I hadn't already been round loads of shops and finally found the suite I really liked, I'd have walked out.

Yep, it's killing the golden goose. Personally, I used to see Curry's as a handy place where you could go to view and buy all kinds of electrical items in one place; but now, I see them as a place waiting to lie to me and rip me off, so - surprise surprise - it isn't a place I go to.

In fact, considering that the pressure only tends to ramp up once you're at the till, they've re-established themselves perfectly as a non-sale showroom for people to be able to spend time checking out all of the products 'in the flesh' and then go and buy them on Amazon, where they will ask you once if you want any other associated stuff or a warranty and, if you ignore or say No, they just let you buy the item with no drama, gaslighting or pressure whatsoever. How is this sustainable?

They remind me of the companies that sign people up for marketing info - quite legitimately and openly - but then they can't help themselves from abusing your email address and spamming you every day or two. One or two emails a month would have kept a potentially lucrative sales avenue open to them for years; but the instant they start bombarding you with spam every day, surely the majority of people simply unsubscribe and then they completely lose all of those potential sales avenues for good.

They do it because it works, it's been happening for a while now and if profits went down they'd have pulled it. Getting your business into the minds of a past customer every day via email converts to more sales. I find it funny personally as I end up harangued by so many businesses on a daily basis it ends up irritating me, I unsubscribe and avoid shopping there for a while. But it must work for the majority. Or they'd no longer be doing it.

One sale: one chunk of profit.
Marketing: the potential for numerous future chunks of profit.

Yep. Bricks and mortar stores can't afford to be lackadaisical about sales, each and every sale counts. Every sale is an opportunity to add on extras. When I used to work at currys and PC World we wouldn't be allowed to check out a purchase unless it had everything added on (like with a laptop: laptop case, burnable CDs, 'tech friend' support line, a mouse, insurance etc.), we'd have to get permission from a manager who'd come over and lay the pressure on hoping a second round of pressure would do the trick in forcing the customer to acquiesce. Honestly some of these stores have only themselves to blame frankly.

Do the big bosses of these companies genuinely prefer people to dump purchases at the counter and not return again, rather than accepting that they just didn't manage to grab another avenue for marketing spam on this occasion?

My concern is that these new practices of shops demanding email addresses at the counter are not really done with those of us over a certain age, who will resist it, in mind. Do shops that traditionally appeal to a considerably older demographic do this as insistently?

I wonder if they're playing the long game and hoping that, eventually, it will just become a completely standard and accepted part of making an in-store purchase to younger generations; and they will never have known any different and thus never think to query or object to it. Any of us oldies who are left who still complain about it or refuse will be pitied and patronised as out of touch and 'not very shopping savvy'.

I've had run ins with New Look over this.

I just say that I don't have an email address. And if they won't accept that I leave and buy elsewhere.

Yes, definitely - this is actual harassment and abusive. Not that she should have to, of course, but she should make sure that she's signed up to the TPS (if they're a UK company) and, when they call again, say to them "I hereby withdraw any and all perceived consent to you contacting me on this number - please do not call again. If I receive any more calls from you from now on, I will report you to the police for harassment".

Spam post, texts and emails are irritating enough; but actually phoning somebody to market to them, without their explicit consent to this, is stalky behaviour. I'm surprised they even think it's worth their time, unless she's very wealthy and they think they can cajole her into spending a lot of money with them.

Telephone voice calls used to be such a brilliant facility, but now they're so widely abused by scammers, spammers and other nuisances, they've lost most of their usefulness now except for when the caller can be identified as somebody you actually want to speak to before answering (about 5% of the calls that I receive).

Your friend needs to write to the company officially requiring them to remove all her personal information from their database and not contact her. They have to comply under data protection law (UK GDPR and the data protection act 2018).

My nearest local Lidl some while back started asking if you wanted a paper receipt and it seemed as if it was a bit of a faff to some of them if you said yes, waiting the two or three seconds it took to print it out.

Fast forward to several months ago and you now have to have a receipt which they give you automatically so you can get through the automatic barrier to exit the shop. 🙄

Other than under the former law that required people buying TV-receiving equipment to provide their names and addresses so that it could be cross-checked with TV licensing to see if that address had a licence - and even that law was stupid as they would then still pursue you if the licence at your address was in your spouse's name, not to mention if you had bought a TV for business premises or as a present for/on behalf of somebody who didn't live with you - I find it very concerning that you appear to consider people wanting to guard their own private information and not give it away to any old business that wants to exploit it and share it with all and sundry for marketing purposes as 'nonsense'.

But you credit them with far more integrity than most of them have.

Some use small-print and get you to 'voluntarily' sign that you've read their 5,000 words of terms. The same with intrusive online cookies - especially the reprehensible weasel concept of 'legitimate interest' - where they know that most people will 'consent' rather than have to click to deselect 854 separate permissions individually (and even then accidentally undo it all at the end by clicking the big bright red 'accept all' button rather than the little dull grey one to confirm their choices).

Why would they really be so desperate and insistent in pushing people to give their email addresses - often using blatant lies and manipulation - if they genuinely only wanted to email you your receipt (and incidentally make it easier for you to change your mind and return purchases)? The cost of a receipt and a bit of ink per purchase is negligible, so it clearly isn't that.

And this is before we even get to the issue of careless data leaks and their 'carefully selected partners' - including those who work internationally, so UK law is useless in protecting you.

When they say "Your privacy is important to us", it's crucial to remember that they actually mean in the exact same way as your handbag is 'important' to a mugger.

They should be. All those high street chains that have been and gone started on their demise by not bothering about a customer walking out of their store who went in with the intention of spending money. Whatever reason a customer does this should be a real concern for any retail business, because they won't be the only one. Data gathering like shops are now doing is alienating a significant section of their customer base at a time they really can not afford to do it.

Not in the way people are actually concerned about. There is no risk in any normal marketing list sales and sharing to normal compliant companies. And it requires explicit permission. It can't be preselected. You can't hide it in terms and conditions. The buyer of a list is responsible legally if the list has any emails without permission. It doesn't go out and and shared forever, that one business partner can if everything was perfectly done, use it for marketing. But nothing else, they can't sell it on or share it again. The vast majority off places would spend more doing things properly, than they would realistically make.

What people are always scared of, is very different to the reality. It's odd you don't know that, what kind of dodgy business did you work for?

There is nothing in legislation that requires a receipt. If they don't use them and that causes issues due to their policies later, that's a civil dispute after the fact. But doesn’t change anything what you are legally entitled to.

The white company is particularly difficult with this, as they want postal code email and name their system is soo slow it takes a long time.

I love their stuff but I often give up on their mailing liat stuff

So what happens if you're one of the many (mainly elderly) customers who doesn't just not want to give out your email address, but doesn't actually have one or use the internet at all?

Do they take pity and condescendingly hold back on the lies if they can see you're elderly; or do they just have an effective policy that deliberately seeks to take away consumer rights disproportionately from older customers?

I have no issue at all with them asking if you'd like an email receipt - I'm sure a lot of people prefer this for fewer bits of paper clutter and easier to keep track of, and don't object to other people in earshot hearing their email address; but if the answer is "No, thanks, just a normal one, please" or if somebody willingly declines a receipt altogether, that should be the end of the matter.

I'm sure that the shops want access to as many people's email addresses for marketing as possible, but absolutely nobody owes it to them. I agree with PP that predatory behaviour like this will expedite the death of the high street.

I happily buy things online from Curry's, but I would be loath to set foot inside one of their actual bricks-and-mortar stores again, as the pressure and guilt-tripping on people who want to buy a product and just hand over the amount on the price tag - without any suspiciously-expensive extra accessories, supplementary goods or rip-off warranties that only double up on your basic consumer rights anyway - is insane.

Yes, I can be unbowed and stand my ground firmly; but when you see the look on the face of the poor assistant and hear the huge disappointment in their voice when they realise that they'll be punished/sanctioned/berated as a direct result of your single-item purchase, it's not the most charming retail atmosphere.

Agree about the email address. I just tell them that I don't have one but I'd like a receipt please. Job done.
Dunelm is the worst shop for this where the queues are very long whilst the staff are forced to ask these inane questions. Personally I'd rather have a speedier checkout experience.

Agree, just say No. I had to offer this shit for years , you get seriously bollocked if you don't.

You ARE entitled to a receipt if their Returns policy demands one.

And they do indeed sell email addresses. I used to work for a direct mailing company that bought them!

Haven't shopped at New Look since they refused a paper receipt with a smirk about a year ago. They're shutting down here now I hear. Don't often shop at Matalan for similar reasons. Holland and Barratt don't insist but it still puts me off. You don't need my name and address to sell a bag of nuts.

For years and years I said “no thank you” when asked if I wanted an email receipt.
….until I’d lost the receipt for an expensive item from Debenhams which I wanted to return.
They refused to refund without the receipt- as their right - but said that if I’d had the email receipt there wouldn’t have been a problem.

You aren't entitled to a paper receipt. You aren't even entitled to get one at all for most cases.

Should also point out that almost no shops are selling emails. Most don't get enough to make even pocket change from selling, let alone cover the cost of getting caught. In 99.9% of cases it's just paranoia.

You sound lovely and I’m sure most shop assistants couldn’t care less if they lost your custom after not paying heed to your ‘warning’ 🤣

You can't blame them for asking, data is so valuable, that's why all the various store cards exist.
I always so "nah you're alright", although I am tempted to set up a really shocking email address and give it out to them. Something like [email protected]

I can't stand companies increasingly asking for personal info via text or on chat when you are on an app. Do they have zero idea how many scammers would do this? Why do companies make us so vulnerable to this? Prove to me you know who I am so I know I'm not communicating with a Nigerian Prince!