Expected to look after puppy after surgery

It was a really stupid decision you all made to get the dog. I think you all need to have a serious conversation about the care of the dog going forward and if it is feasible to keep it

So whose dog is it?

If it's your son's then he needs to sort care for it when he's not there.

Can your husband take it out before he goes to work so that it is mostly settled until your son gets home?

What are you being expected to do?

sorry to hear you're not recovered yet, OP.

Tell your son the puppy has to go and if he doesn'T make arrangements for its care you will rehome it.

I understand your son may have had good intentions as you say he thought a dog would be good company for you alone at home but he’s not really thought this through for various reasons, many already mentioned by others. Given your situation, an adult calm breed of dog eg rescue Greyhound may have been better but even so that would be dependent on your recovery as they still would need walks, toileting etc.

I think action needs to be taken sooner than later as if rehoming is needed it will be less taxing on the puppy and also makes it more marketable the younger it is. Wishing you a speedy recovery 💐

Out of interest OP, what breed of puppy?

A friends son bought a puppy on a whim. Thought his parents would love it as they’d had dogs previously. He was away at uni. If it had been me I would have told him to return it, but they decided to keep him. They are late 60s and late 70s and are not interested in a 12 plus year commitment. Worse, when the don came home on holidays he would complain about how his parents were dealing with the dog!
Id tell your son he needs to organise doggie day care for the dog. Even without your recovery it’s not your responsibility. If he refuses say you will sign him over to a dog charity as it’s not fair on the dog or you. And be prepared to do so.

Your DS sounds very selfish but it seems like there is t much you can do about that. Practically speaking see if you could get a bit of help- have a look on “Borrow my Doggy.” There may well be local people who would be very happy to help, especially with a cute puppy. You would pay a small insurance fee and they can look after/ walk the dog for you. My DD used to do this regularly for dogs near her. She loved taking them for walks and even looked after them for the weekend when the owners went away.

your son and husband need to find a family member who can take on the dog during the day, so that you do not have to be responsible for it. You need to explicitly tell them both that you are finding it too much to look after it all day. It massively unfair of either to expect it and you need to advocate for yourself here.

Sorry, OP, but he was not thinking about you one bit when he got the puppy - no matter how many times he says otherwise given you freely admit it was not the right time to get a dog.

He was being a selfish git who wanted a puppy and thought his mother would - as you have done so far - do free dog day care for him.

I hope you continue to recover well from your surgery, but you 110% need to put your foot down with your son.

This is too much to deal with after brain surgery. Perhaps your husband should speak to your son and set out the options described by a previous poster above. Your family should be treating you as the main priority while you're recovering. The dog needs to go.

OP… it’s HIS puppy that he is responsible for. Not you. You’ve just had surgery you should be relaxing and recovering with them comforting and doing tasks for you!

He has been disgusting to do this right now when you’ve had surgery. You need to tell him the puppy is his job and he can do it or he can hire someone to do it but you are simply not well enough. You’re his mum not his servant!

Wow that sounds so tough and I agree with others very unfair of your son.

I am presuming your son had no previous puppy experience as otherwise would know how much hard work it is. Yes pups are cute but they are relentless and can be little shits too.

Not only the basics, but there is the early days and months training and proper socialisation that’s essential for raising a happy and well behaved adult dog. Does your son do all that? Does he have a socialisation plan?

My last puppy nearly broke me too as I was trying to work from home and my partner unexpectedly had an injury, I’ve had several dogs and puppies so I knew I had to push on but it was exhausting and stressful. Like you, this hadn’t been the plan. Worth it now as dog is settled and reasonably well behaved, god knows it could have been the opposite.

Your son needs to face his responsibilities to his dog snd stop taking advantage of you.

So your son sat you and your husband down and asked if you'd both be ok with him buying a puppy, and if you'd look after it while he was at work?

If yes, then why didn't you and your DH point out it would be too much hard work?

If no, who the hell does he think he is, buying a puppy while he's living in your house and can't look after it himself?

You don't have to do something just because you are 'expected' to. Tell your son you are not available to look after his dog and the options are:

he arranges alternative care for the dog, and pays for it if necessary;
the dog is rehomed;
your son moves out and takes the dog with him.

Absolutely this

Get on the Rover app book a local person. Husband drops puppy off on way to work. Ds picks up later.
Your ds will beed to pay doggy care.

‎Rover—Dog Sitters & Walkers App - App Store https://share.google/XyXfvHx0kNDtGgSK1

You are certainly not selfish and your son is being a dick. My dog nearly broke me when he was a puppy and I’m fit and healthy. I’m not an advocate of rehoming, but can dog be returned to the breeder?

Does he control what you do? There is help out there if you need it.

It really comes over as though you are frightened of your son OP and that the hierarchy in the home is that he is boss and you are expected to do what he wants.

He is being incredibly selfish expecting you to look after his dog. And that's even without taking your health issues into account.

He is also being really unfair to the dog by bringing him into a home where he, the owner, is out all day.

You really need to telk your son how much your health is suffering and that this situation can't continue.

Who has been doing the puppy slog whilst you’ve been away ? It’s a lot, up and down all day with toilet training, stopping them hoovering up e writhing on the floor etc … nightmare!

Why on earth can't you just say no? Are you scared of him?