"What shall I get them for Christmas?"

My daughter has a Pinterest board of ideas. She sent it to my mum for "inspo". Nanna comes back with, "Can I give her the money and she gets it herself?" Ye Gods! My DD is an adult but still wants people to think they know her well enough to get a surprise for her. Mum can be very un-festive about it all, reducing gifts to hard cash and not having to put in any effort on her part. Or even, asks ME to buy it and wrap it and then pays me back. 😭

As for the value of things, my DD once asked her Nanna to make something for her rather than buy (take that, Mum!). Thankfully Mum is a wizz at crafts and made a cross stitch of a large bee for her. It's one of DD's most treasured possessions. (My mum had a bit of a whinge about having to make it though!)

How can you be annoyed
Just give them direct ideas. Its not that hard

Tell them to put the money in a gift box if they want him to open something. Or wrap up a chocolate selection box and hand him a cash card.

Oh don't get me started on this 😡

Problem is, next year, they'll say 'oh just buy their gifts for me and I'll put the money in your account'

Right. Great.

As relatives don't know what your children have and haven't got it isn't a bad thing to ask for specifics.

I ask a family member for specific ideas for her two children. They live the other side of the country, so it's not like I can pop in and stealthy see what they've already got. We don't have kids, so not really sure where to begin and the family member has got a very specific vibe (eco-friendly, non-plastic). All in all it's a minefield so I'm gonna keep asking for specific ideas.

And it's not enough for me to say "an arts and crafts kit" or "she's really into Bluey", they want specific gift ideas

Of course it's not enough.

If she's really into Bluey, how do they know she won't already have whatever they decide to buy?

Ditto the arts and crafts kit.

I get it's annoying, but they don't live with your kids.

My siblings tell me what their kids would like & I buy the presents. It means the children get presents they like & want rather than random, wasteful stuff

I hate the whole process of coming up with ideas for presents and I consider it immensely stressful. The idea of getting the wrong thing makes me sad.

I assume most people feel a similar level of stress and I consider it my responsibility to take on that stress for my parents so they have less to worry about. Therefore I consider it part of my job to provide information as specific as requested and don't resent it.

We have to buy both MiL and mums presents for the kids because they both live miles away so can’t do it themselves. Tbh it’s got easier over the years and this year we will mostly just give the money

Give a list of half a dozen book titles that can be bought easily from Waterstones.