To tell my elderly father that I do have objections to him marrying his partner he met 6 months after my mother died?

What, for 5 1/2 years? She's playing the long game if she's very old as well...don't be silly.

I have worked in an area where your situation is not uncommon and sometimes it does not go well..in terms of remarrying and issues after.

I agree. And if my mothers assets went to another woman’s family after her death.

Its not about the money - id rather it all went to charity than to a family of relative strangers

Hi op. Obviously don't know the whole story but you sound concerned and maybe with good reason. Do you think you could speak to your father re POA for finances and health? If he agrees to you and your sibling having this then it is only required if he is unable to make decisions for himself. Then he knows you have his best interests at heart and he can marry without you worrying.

Do talk to him about all the implications for his care and financial. There are horrible cases of, for example, an elderly man needing residential care and the second wife (as next of kin or with POA) refusing to allow the man's biological adult children to visit. That is just one example of something that could happen.
I do not subscribe to the commonly expressed MN view that one should not expect any inheritance at all from one's parents. I think it is a sad state of affairs when a second wife can inherit everything, including the adult DCs biological mother's assets, leaving the adult DC with nothing - which seems to happen relatively frequently. If your DF insists on marrying this woman (and why now after 5 years of amicable co-existence?) make sure he knows that marriage invalidates any will he has made and encourage him to make a new one asap.

There are some seriously unkind people on this thread. Op has genuine concerns about looking after her father in his dotage and the prospect of losing any future say about his welfare.

She saw him coming! I’d be concerned as to whose idea getting married was too!!! A LOT of elderly just bereaved people end up suddenly finding “love” and the new partner then wants to get married and they also end up with ALL the house and savings when their lot older spouse dies

Why would he be happier married to her? Because he’s decided he would be!

He shouldn’t have asked your opinion if he didn’t want it. What was his response to your objection? When he tells her you’re not keen you may find your dislike of her is mutual but, again, he asked.

Would you not sit with her and do it together? Your message reads like you would exclude his long term partner from making funeral arrangements. Perhaps he's marrying her to protect her from things like this.

He may also be intending for her to live in the home til her death and then you inherit- wills can be made in all kinds of permutations.

I would talk to him about it- say since you raised the issue of marriage, I wonder what your thoughts are on XYZ. I've had these conversations with both parents, although it is delicate and in the case of one of them I don't really agree with their plans but they are theirs and I don't think it's for me to say anything more, I am not being disinherited though, just that the distribution of assets requires selling everything and I wouldn't want to do that to my step-mum if and when he dies.

My mum is blunter and that's very helpful and we have discussed what her partner will do and his own finances so everything is very up front and there's no surprises for him or us.

I want my parents partners to be happy and well if my parents go first as they have been with them a long time.

A spouse doesn’t automatically have power of attorney by the way - he can make an LPA appointing one of you children or his wife or someone else entirely as he chooses. If he were to lose capacity without one his new wife wouldn’t be the default, you have to make applications to the court of protection etc

While I would not remarry in these circumstances, I’d consider it grossly unreasonable of my child to interfere if I wanted to.

When she marries him she will be his family. Why do you feel entitled to make all of the decisions around your dad?

Maybe he is marrying her specifically so she can make this decisions as he'd rather her than you.

Give him your blessing. Then she will look after him when his health crumbles and you will not have the bother of it ...

I agree it is accurate.

I don’t understand the concern on here about discussing finances in these circumstances. It’s right and proper that these things are considered.

You can want both things, a parent to be happy AND for them to think about what will happen if they become unwell and pass away. It’s just sensible.

OP I’d just talk to him. I presume you want him to be happy. So say that. Say you like her (assuming you do) but be honest that you’re concerned about practicalities. Both money, any house, POA for health etc.

You have to remember though it’s his decision. It’s not your inheritance, it’s his money and home. So while you can make sure he’s considered everything. Ultimately any choices are up to him.

Did your Mother not have a joint will with your DF? MY Dad died a few years ago and his half of the house is in trust for us DC not my DM although she can live in it until whenever.

You are being massively U nit to give him your blessing to get married and as other have suggested it seems all about the money rather than his happiness which is pretty bad of you.

well at least her mother must have taken this into account when making her will leaving everything to her husband. It still stays in the family and doesn't go to complete strangers.

I think you don't know enough about what your dad wants here, perhaps he would like to give you your inheritance and is intending on making a will to this effect, perhaps he would prefer this lady who is now his life partner to have PoA and not you. There are legal benefits in the difficult last years to marriage in terms of being able to make decisions on his behalf and you don't know who he wants to take charge of that- it may be her for Health and you for Finance or some other combination.

Being married does mean you are someone's legal next of kin and that may be what he wants for her.

I'd have a discussion with him if possible about what he'd like to happen- but be prepared that he actually does know what it means to be married including the health consequences and that he does know he wants her to have both the money and other legal ties.

Horrible but sadly accurate.

It's not OP's business though, is it? While her father is still alive, it's very much HIS business what he does. He could sell his house and donate the whole of the proceeds to a cat shelter and live in a commune if he so wishes.