Have I ruined the last “magic” xmas

If the last year of believing is 6 the workd is in a worse state than I ever thought!!! 9/10/11 op- a 7 yo not believing seems ridiculous!!!! Oh and I once saw someone say Christmas is really all about family, good tv, a tub of celebrations and board games. We’ve done Christmas when we could barely afford anything, was no different to any other!!

There are two lovely services that churches of most denominations off at Christmas. Christingle and the Crib Service. They will set the scene for the real reason for Christmas. Be a nice idea if you could join in with a group going Carol Singing. School will have activities too so don't worry about things too much. Making your own decorations with the children is always worth it. There are some super simple ideas on PINTEREST, I investigated a visit to see Father Christmas with my Great Grand - girls, 5 and 7 years old.SO ridiculous as the cheapest was £15 per child!!! Look out for Bazaars and Fetes where there are often visits to Santa. It's not the money that makes Christmas its the traditions you establish yourself, like opening an advent calendar, [they don't have to have chocolates in them!!]

I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment.

My son was 10 when he stopped believing so you probably have a while yet.

When I was growing up, we didn't do light trails etc (don't think they were a thing in the 80s/90s) and most things we did were at home but I have very fond memories of Christmas.

I would look at free or very cheap things to do.

*Local lights switch on/go round a garden centre to see the Christmas displays - my son still likes doing this at 12!

*Have a Christmas film night. If you can, buy him some cheap sweets/popcorn to have with it. Or, instead of a cooked tea, make sandwiches etc and have it as a picnic.

*Go to a family service at your local church - they often have activities for kids and free tea/coffee for adults. You don't have to be of faith to attend.

*Use things he already has to do Christmas crafts.

*Play board games he already has - he will value your time more than anything.

My eldest believed until he was 10.

So you are so poor that you can't afford to go to see some Christmas lights, but you are planning Lapland next year? Isn't that the absolutely most expensive thing you could ever do on Christmas? You can visit Christmassy places and get presents from charity shops cheaply without it messing with the magic of Christmas. It's the attitude that makes the biggest difference. Would you say you are bad with money? The Lapland thing indicates you are.

My dc believed until they were 10-11 and I broke the news before they went to high school. Anyway it’s not about that and you have had some brilliant suggestions and what everyone is saying about the little things is so true. I remember my childhood 1970s Christmases which were very simple but still exciting.

When my nieces were small they got so much stuff for Christmas, one year the eldest asked for a ' dolly in a basket', this was last minute and all big gifts had been bought. My Dsis found one for £1.99 and you'd better believe it was the favourite gift😅 Dn said 'mammy I've got a happy Christmas now with my dolly in a basket' . Christmas is about making magical memories, Niece is almost 50 and I can remember this like it was yesterday.

For children with loving, involved parents Christmas will always be magic. As someone who grew up in a very poor household in the 1960s we had very little of the Christmas extras we have now and it was still magical.

What made it magical was my parents being excited, sparkly lights, Christmas stockings that only contained tiny things (a satsuma, selection box, book, new crayons) but they were all mine. Santa had bought them for me and I didn't have to share.

When my own DC were little in the nineties we were super hard up - we lived in an old house that needed constant maintenance plus a big mortgage with a 15% interest rate. That meant a lot of their presents were second hand or Primark bargains. I felt we were letting them down they didn't know any different and they speak of those Christmases with so much love and nostalgia.

Nowadays DH and I are pretty comfortable financially. We could treat our adult DC to anything they wanted but they don't want stuff anymore. What they want is the old days - a tree, fairy lights all over the house, lots of chocolate, a family dinner that goes on for hours followed by games and karaoke. The best bits of all are the early mornings and late nights when it's just our core group in ancient Christmas pjs hanging out and having fun.

You have muddled Christmas magic with mass consumerism.
the magic of Christmas is the traditions that are special to your family.
not paying for every event that’s happening in the local area .

I have been a single parent for years, in my skinter days I never had enough to do half the things you are talking about unless my parents treated us and I think my children still had amazing Christmas's. I honestly believe that Christmas magic is created by you as a parents. As others have said its putting the decorations up, christmas baking, walking through the lights, being with family, creating Christmas traditions and a sense of excitement with all the stuff at school on the run up to Christmas when there at primary school.
Both of my teenage children love Christmas and even if they don't believe are happy to go along with it all. I had some awful Christmas's with my ex and vowed to make there Christmas calm, happy and consistent.
I actively avoid quite a lot of the stuff you have mentioned, that's not Christmas, that's just throwing money at it. If you can't make Christmas magic happen without them you need to have a rethink on what's important to you.

If you do make Magic Reindeer Food don't put glitter in it, this is toxic to birds who are the ones who will end up eating it.
We used to take ours to fed reindeer in a local visitor centre they sold little bags of appropriate food for the DC to give them.
Christmas bedding - if you don't want the whole thing get a fleece blanket . Lovely and snuggly .
Lots of really good ideas on here.
My DD is 23 now and she always loves the whole build up to Christmas and the days spent with family. Then a few days to relax.
My DS is 26 and a proper little Bah Humbug but enjoys Christmas dinner and ££ which is fine by me,I'd rather not spent on things he doesn't want.

Neither went to Lapland but we did do Steam Train Santa Rides

My sons were 10/11 when they stopped believing so I honestly wouldn’t worry. You can still create lots of magic without a big budget! Baking, making ornaments, Christmas books etc. We used to get in the car and drive round looking at all the displays people used to put on and the kids loved it. Christmas Eve we used to track Santa on the web, get cosy, watch Christmas films etc.
While a trip to Lapland etc is lovely it’s really not what Christmas is about imo

7 is ridiculously young. My DC were at least 10 before they stopped believing all together, some scepticism at 9. My 7 yo definitely believes!

Christmas isn’t about the money spent, I fear we have lost the actual message of it over the years of rampant commercialism (particularly since the 80s). You can find free or inexpensive things to do. Make salt dough decorations, do some baking, make Christmas cards, go see a Christmas light switch on, read some Christmas books at the library, search for free events in your area.

Also, you don’t have to be a Christian to attend things like carol services and Christingle are free and really fun. And if you drive, one of my favourite things to do as a child was to go see people’s extravagant light displays.

You really don’t need to spend megabucks on rip off Santa visits to keep the magic and spirit alive.

Portable north pole website does a free personalised video from santa and is lovely and definitely worth doing. Walk and see local lights, Christmas film, bake, make a gingerbread house. We never did big days out but the magic was always there. Really sorry you are struggling.

I'm almost 63 and have never done anything on your list, but still find it a magical time of year. Throwing money at Christmas doesn't somehow make it magical. Helping my mother in the kitchen on Christmas Eve, walking with my father around the local streets in the evenings, bundled up in a warm coat and scarf, looking at everyone's Christmas trees, going to a carol service, all these are the memories.

Hard news: Magic isn’t real.

Do you know what the most magical thing is that we do at Christmas? The Christingle service at our local church. We're not particularly religious but we go on Christmas Eve every year, my now teenagers still want to go every year (I suggested we didn't go last year and there was mutiny 😂) the anticipation of going up and collecting your Christingle, then they turn the lights off, light the candles and sing silent night, it almost brings me to tears every years, it's genuinely so magical.

We have never spent a fortune at Christmas, we do the local town Christmas light switch on, the Christmas fair at the church hall, sometimes the very small Christmas market in our town, I pay £4 for them to see Santa.

I am sorry life is a financial struggle for you just now.
I am also sad that people feel so pressured to constantly create magic for their children ..... usually in the form of material goods.
There will be free ways of sharing fun.....make Christmassy things together, walk round the town lights .....
I am more concerned about the pressure you are feeling than the idea that your child might be missing out.
You don't have to go to Lapland to have a good Christmas!

I blame social media for you feeling that your Christmas won't be magical and needing Lapland to restore the magic next year.
It's so easy to get sucked in when you see photos of friend, but now mostly influencers doing all these extra activities. The ones I like the most are the ones who are not paid to do an experience and can add their honest thoughts. I was sad to not have done Lapland UK and dithered a lot over whether to book last year before deciding it was a ridiculous amount of money and that actually my children would see through the story and it would make them question things more. I also saw an influencer actually state this on their post saying that they went on a lower cost day and that if they had paid more they would have been disappointed and that they wouldn't do it again.
Mine are older and still 'pretend' they don't know that Santa isn't real, I am not entirely sure with my 9 year old but the 11 year old definitely goes along for me.

As others have suggested there are lots of low cost things to do. My 11 year old is excited about a hot choc with cream and marshmallows on Xmas eve. We will walk round the neighbour to look at Christmas lights. There is a free carol service in town we will attend. Christmas dinner is basically a glorified roast, buy a chicken and just add the extras (Aldi and Lidl have already announced they will drop the price of veg) or do picky bits/buffet (I desperately wanted to do this like a friend does but one child says we have to have a roast 🙄).
Look in charity shops for decorations if you don't have any from last year.
Also look at rotary club and chairs organisations for Santa visits. These are often low cost. We have one where the children get a little bag of sweets and it's pay what you can afford.

Same with us. We’re a family of Father Christmas sceptics, but still put out mince pies for Santa. We don’t put presents under the tree until people have gone to bed on Christmas Eve ( which is increasingly difficult now the kids are 25, 27 and 28, so that tends to happen just before people get up on Christmas Day.). There’s real magic in the air when we all see the tree on Christmas Day morning for the first time. Never had to have the “is Father Christmas real?” conversation, because we’ve never spun this myth.

One of my (now adult) DCs favourite Christmassy memories is when we used to go out to look at the lit up houses and came home to hot chocolate and a sparkler in the garden. It was the excitement of being outside, later than usually allowed and in the dark.

Loads of their best memories are of the free/cheaper stuff we did and the ‘unmanufactured’ fun. Just being together and doing nice things - baking, decorating biscuits, making paper chains and snowflakes etc - is what counts. Small children have very simple needs and it’s only consumerism that makes us think we need to be doing more and spending more. Of course they’d enjoy this as well but they will not miss what they’ve not had/done.

I was a broke lone parent when my DC were young enough to believe in the whole Christmas bit
I saved for big presents and bought second hand and charity shop for others
We did a lot of crafts, baking and home made stuff
Enjoyed the run up to Christmas with free stuff like lights switch on - visiting garden centres - going to Carol concerts etc
I asked my adult DC recently about their memories and one said best one was foraging for twigs and holly to make home made decorations - the other said it was going late night shopping with hot chocolate and seeing the lights etc

I love these ideas and all the others on here. I completely agree that the magic of Christmas doesn’t need to cost much. I can’t wait to do some of these things with my child.

I absolutely agree. Your kid will not care, OP. At six he primarily wants some stuff he can play with, he will have no idea how much it costs, and a lovely day with you. Maybe some playdates. That's the magic.

My kid is 7, she worked out Father Christmas last year and still loves Christmas. I hate this idea that the magic ends when they work out that Father Christmas isn't real. It's not true.

Loved this. Very similar to my favourite memory of Christmas as a child which is sitting and looking at the Christmas tree with my older brother, at night time, all the lights in the house switched off and just the fairy lights switched on on the tree. I found the effect of those little coloured lights, throwing up shadows of the branches of the tree, so magical (still do). And the quiet as everything slowed down. I think the magic will come from you slowing down. Have a few things to do that you don’t normally do, but they can be inexpensive or free things as PPs have suggested. You will be fine and I’m sure your kids will have a lovely Christmas.