Is it me??

Are you married? Who owns the house'if you're not renting?

I think suggesting she dislikes her child is a bit much, to be fair!

I think she is a bit unreasonable but I wouldn't lightly accuse anyone of that, on such scant evidence too!

If my husband was telling me to take the kids and get out of the house so he could clean in peace every weekend, I would tell him to get lost

I think you are totally reasonable to ask him to occupy his own child for a few hours while you clean for the family.

I don't think you are reasonable in insisting they go out of the house while you do this, if they don't want to.

Why can't you clean with them in the house? Presumably you only do one room at a time - can't they just be on a different room from the one you are cleaning?

OP, it's so much easier cleaning the house when nobody is about, very much so! And sorry that partner can't switch this time together around in his head, dad-daughter time for a few hours at the weekend is great for bonding and I bet she'll start to remember those days fondly as she grows, dad too! I don't think you're being unreasonable and if he really hates it, then something is wrong with him - he can clean instead and you go out?

Is this what it is op? You’ve written this that your husband is selfish and lazy and you need time so you can clean. And your daughter is clingy and you can’t do the chores during thr week. Is it you just want me time and are using this as the excuse? If that’s it then you need to talk to your husband and explain that. You both should have me time.

I think you do sound a bit precious about the cleaning.

However I think that both of you should get some “me” time at the weekends. We used to give each other at least an hour to spend as we chose when our kids were younger, I either went for a swim, a coffee or had a nap!

If cleaning is your “me time” I don’t think you are being U. But maybe you could discuss it with him, he gets to choose his own “me time” activity and also gets to choose what he does with your DD (again my partner enjoyed swimming with our kids, or took them to see relatives on his side of the family). I don’t think I would have enjoyed being turfed out of the house just for cleaning.

I have serious doubt over the usefulness of a 5 year old to clean a house 😂

Yes, they learn the basics but come on

Yes its you.

I work FT as does my DH both in very demanding roles. We manage to keep the house clean during the week so there's no weekend cleaning to do really with two children, two dogs and two cats.

It sounds like you don't particularly like your child from the way you've written your post.

you are probably over-cleaning. Otherwise, you all need to help. Eg, set aside time on Saturday morning for an hour and you all take part. That includes the child. A five year old should be able to tidy their own stuff, at the very least.

I also don’t think you get to demand they leave every saturday morning so you can be alone; if you’re struggling and need alone time, you go out.

What I think is unreasonable is you doing all the cleaning, he should be doing his half as well. Maybe if you both cleaned together it would be done quicker and you can have some family/fun time on the weekend.

Ok well they don’t need to be out the house,and you can take it in turns to do rooms and childcare. I worked full time and kept a clean house,,like millions of others and never needed the house empty

if you just want alone time just own it;

I’m sorry op but I also can’t get past you calling your own child the kid.

I voted YABU because you sound like a domestic martyr to a husband who thinks work ends when he’s clocked off from his 9-5. Neither of these are good role models for your dd.

What she needs is for her dad to step up and pull his weight at weekends. Stop the cleaning and tidying ffs and start advocating for a bit more respect and support. Show your dd what self care means and she’s more likely to grow up embodying that, than being an unpaid cook and bottle washer for a selfish male.

Yanbu at all, he is their father 😭 - tell him that can clean the house instead and youll go out then!

I completely understand as I hate cleaning with people around as it all just feels pointless, but at the same time if you work PT I’m not sure why this needs to be a weekend job, if that makes sense.

And you and your partner need to work on her playing with him when home. She’s old enough to understand ‘no, I’m cleaning, play in your room or with your dad’.

Ok so just say he either pays for a cleaner or does the cleaning. But even so he should parent his child equally on the weekend. You are being unreasonable if you insist this is outside the house, unless the child will not leave you alone (which is a bit worrying in a five year old if his dad is there).

Oh right, didn't catch that. Surely you can just clean with them in the house 🤷