Is it me??

TBF it was this part that elicited the reaction;

"It sounds like you don't particularly like your child from the way you've written your post."

That came across as accusatory.

Could DC ‘help’ you? I found with my son he’d want yo help, then get bored when I saw I was committed to the task and he’d poodle off and do something else. I think it would cause issues in our house if I was home more than DH and then needing cleaning time at weekend.

This makes total sense to me. I struggled cleaning when dd was around and found it much easier when she was elsewhere. I prefer to blitz the house than do bits here and there. I now work full time on the condition that we have a weekly cleaner and dh and I do a top up clean at the weekend that takes less than an hour. You don't actually have any time to yourself so you're not unreasonable at all. Maybe dh would prefer it if you switched roles and he did the cleaning at home while you take dd out for a fun few hours if he prefers being at home?

Reported.

The PP was just saying that it's entirely possible to have a clean house and work.

Maybe try reading my post? I made zero comment about the OP, nor pass any comment on OP’s love for her kids! I simply objected to a poster calling another a cunt!

I think any shame here sits firmly with you for incorrectly accusing me of something I did not do! If only there was a chihuahua meme that fit this scenario….

Just as there is never any need to stick it to a woman by questioning her love for her kids. Ever.
Shame. On. You.

About 3 years, not that it should matter. I’m not overly sensitive or easily offended, just think there’s no need for that kind of post simply because you have a different opinion to someone else.

You haven't been on MN long, have you dear? 👵

Oh, please. That's just derailing the thread. You can't be too dim to see that. Of course you are sticking the boot. OP asked for help and you decide to question her love for her child. That's a dick move. You know it.

@InBedBy10 how disgraceful to resort to bad language and name calling. You’re perfectly entitled to disagree with another poster, but labelling someone the c word is way below the belt. And probably made worse by the fact you didn’t even have the guts to just use the word, instead hiding behind a euphemistic version. If that’s how you feel, own it! Otherwise, you might be better advised to keep that vitriol to yourself. Edited to add @PeachyKoala please just ignore x

I'm not the one calling people cunts on the Internet 🤭

I'm also not the only one questioning how OP refers to her child, so not sure why you've taken such an issue with me and no one else.

YANBU and people are being assholes on this thread. Most know damn well your wording is trying to be neutral. Although I will say, knowing your child's gender is not outing, so you could have just said he or she...

Anyway it's 2025 and there is no reason a woman should be doing the majority of the house work. You know yourself this is not right or else you would not be writing this post. Your partner is lazy and needs to be told his attitude is not ok. You are not wrong for wanting some time to yourself.

Your DP has been out of the house all week and wants to enjoy being at home so you don't need to send him out. We all try our best to keep of housework every day/after work. A weekend clean doesn't take all day, even with washing, especially for 3 of you.

Do what you can, spend time with your family, go out, have fun, life's too short!

What a bizarre set of responses.

I would bet all my worldly goods that the OP, who spends all week either at work or looking after her child, also does the vast majority of the housework. And when she asks her husband to take their daughter out for an hour or two at the weekend so she can have some headspace to clean the bloody house, he doesn’t want to do this because taking her out would involve having to actually look after her, whereas if they stay in the house he knows their child will gravitate towards her mum and he can stay sitting on his bum shrugging helplessly.

Tell me I’m wrong, OP. But if I’m right, you’re certainly not asking for too much, and in fact should be asking for a damn sight more.

Just wondering if OP is doing all the housework and working part time to facilitate housework, childcare and probably partners working hours to the detriment of her own financial well being eg pension and home ownership
Partner doesn't sound like a keeper

What relevance is that?

Yeah I think if hiding gender you’d normally say my child our our child, something that signals possession. This is the first time I’ve seen a parent refer to their child as the kid, and compounded by the question focusing on effectively getting the child and husband out the house. I think that’s why people have reacted badly , but not everyone is good with English, and maybe the op struggles.

How good they are at cleaning isn’t the point. They should be taking part, at least the tidying. They can and should be given jobs to do. Even a three-year-old should.

"The kid" ? Once was enough. This is your son or daughter, your child, not just 'the kid'.

You sound so off hand about him or her.

Other than that, your partner is unreasonable. Employ someone to come in and clean once a week or even once a fortnight, it will give you a break and won't break the bank. I did that when I had a young child and worked part time. The house was cleaned for me while I was at work and when i came home, it was pristine, smelled beautiful and everything gleaming.

OP, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. He should be able to find a hobby or activity that takes them out of the house on a Saturday morning for an hour. Even if it’s just a walk into town and getting a coffee, or swimming. There are hundreds of things that he could do with that time while you clean the house.

I can see both sides. You absolutely need some time off and he needs to be more hands on with Dc. However asking them both to leave the house to facilitate a deep clean isn't reasonable. Isn't that what we would all like? Putting on our favourite music and getting stuck in. The hardest part is constantly doing bits and never getting it done. I found myself constantly checking things unable to relax. I eventually made a diary and it helped me, eg Thursday do bathrooms, Fri dusting etc. It meant i could go to the toilet on other days without mentally checking what needs to be done. If you are PT and DH is full time you can clean while DS is home, it should fit in everyone's schedule and then both do bigger jobs together as they arise. I'm in a similar situation re work hours and i always say to DH I'm not asking you to do more work but I am asking that you don't make more work for me. I don't pick up after him or do things specifically for him, but I do the majority of the housekeeping.

I think people have made valuable points about your cleaning and how it affects the household, and your partner’s responsibility or household tasks too. But I want to add that I think you’re right that it is important for him to have one on one time with your DC, especially if she is particularly attached to you.

If his desire to stay in the house is so he can use the TV to “babysit her” or otherwise not engage with her - this a problem for your family that’s bigger than your desire to clean without anyone around.

@SeashellsAndDaffodils

Christ on a bike.

No, you don't need to be more organized.
You do lots.
Your partner needs to step the hell up.

He can clean the bathroom and hoover one night week. He can do a load of laundry another. He can find a task each night to help run the household.

He doesn't get a medal for minding the child you share to give you a break (ffs?) so you can clean your house on a Saturday. He's not a bloody hero for that. And he pouts about it anyway.

He needs to get it through his head he is still responsible for cleaning, cooking and looking after your child.

You are not meant to bust your ass non-stop.
When do you get "you" time?
When do you go out on a play date and leave the house on a Saturday so your partner can clean the whole house?

Could you get a cleaner