Would you have still gone on your girls night?

Whoever you arrange with first, you stick to

I'd have gone out with my friend because they were on their way and it would be incredibly rude to them cancel on them but I disagree with this comment...my DH has been in my life for over 20 years and has done more for me than any friend I have and I have some really good friends. A casual boyfriend...then yes, female friends trump that but an actual DH? I have had plenty of friends come and go in the time ive been with him.

You did the right thing 100%
In my experience female friends are far more reliable and trustworthy than any bf or dh and will be in your life a lot longer.

Do you always whistle to his tune? Or is this the expectation if he gets this promotion and becomes “even more important”… Well done for crashing him down to earth either way!

I think you did the right thing.

I'd be furious if I had plans for a cosy night in, dropped them to be there for a friend, spent money on a train ticket and they didn't show up!

You're not unreasonable I wouldn't have dropped the friend on account of the husband showing up home early either. Husband was unreasonable to expect you to cancel on her like that just because he decided not to work late

You did the right thing esp as friend was already on her way. I think the takeaway from this is better communication from both of you. Personally, I’d have texted my husband and said “oh don’t worry, I’ve managed to to make last minute plans with so and so, I’ll see you when you get home later”…that way he would have known you’d made plans and not von hone expecting to take you out?

I would not do that to a friend, I would be pretty disgusted they suggested cancelling when she was already on her way, not to mention the time spent getting ready etc

You can’t cancel if she’s already on her way … that’s awful.

If your husband is really working crazy hours for 3 or 4 months in the hope of getting a promotion I would be giving him a “sense check”.

Anywhere that requires people to do that is taking the piss.

Would not have cancelled my plans to see the friend and my husband would not have expected me to. But I would doubt that, if the positions were reversed, any guy would cancel a friend who was already en route because his wife appeared. If he is still miffed ask him if would have cancelled his friend in that situation. Don't let him or your mum make you doubt yourself...cancelling in a friend is not who you are and not who you are about to turn into.

Working super hard in the hope of a promotion is a tactic that could easily backfire….

God, no he couldn’t!

He’s putting a promotion that might not happen above anything else so no I wouldn’t cancel my plans for him when it suits him.

I was brought up to believe that you dont drop a social engagement unless its a real emergency like genuine illness etc. You dont let down the person you agreed to meet because something better came up. Instead you explain to the second person that you already made arrangements. I would have been right royally pissed of if I was the friend on my way to the meeting and you texted to cancel. It says something small and shabby about your partner's character that he would suggest this.

I once had a work colleague like this. We had socialised outside work (in a friendly way) and one day he phoned to ask if he and his friends could come around that evening. He said they would bring wine and pizza. I agreed and looked forward to the evening. At lunch I went out bought more wine, fruit and cheese. I did not think it was hospitable to have people bring their own food, even when they invited themselves. Later that day he cancelled at short notice because his parents had invited them out. It has simply not occurred to him to explain to them that they already made an arrangement. When I took him to task he said "The world is changing fast and you have some very old fashioned ideas." I told him that the world may be changing but good manners and keeping your word are never out of style."

I never forgave him or trusted him again. Because of this people were wary of inviting him for social events and nightd out, knowing there was a good chance he would not turn up.

You done the right thing. Will teach your dh a valuable lesson!

100 u did the right thing

Sisters before misters.

Your mother is of course incorrect and your DH is out of order guilt tripping you.

Hope you had a good night!

It’s poor form to drop a friend at the last minute because your husband hasn’t thought through the logistics of his ‘surprise’ from your POV. Not his fault he thought he’d have to work late in the first place, but a bit dopey or unaware to not think you were likely to have made other plans.

Yes, cancelling on a mate who had a/ already changed her plans to accommodate you and b/ was on the way to meet you would be the height of unreasonableness and you may well have found yourself as an ex friend

Good lesson for him to learn

Your dh thinking that you were going to be sitting at home all night when he cancelled on you is very presumptuous of him.

Maybe next time he keeps in mind that him cancelling plans you aren’t the type to stay in waiting for him just in case

If he wants he can join you and friend on night out? But you can't cancel the friend when she's on her way just because he came home without telling you.

You could've already been out two cities away?!