DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

OP, it sounds like you massively overreacted. Are you perhaps struggling with anxiety that has somehow got out of control? Maybe it's time to seek some help from your GP.

I would have been mildly irritated if dd and her friends had done something like this. Some people might have found it amusing. Either way, feeling terrified and crying is quite extreme.

I do understand your dd feeling embarrassed about your reaction, but you can't undo that now. Maybe think about how you can improve your mental wellbeing for the future to avoid this kind of thing happening again.

Me too.

Although my kids aren't old enough to have heard of Red Rum so that might actually be more disconcerting than Murder!

I would be annoyed but why did you cry? Seems like an over reaction to me

Sorry, your reaction sounds completely over the top. Think you need to find your sense of humour.

Oh come on @FoxPj you really thought that a person had sneaked into the house intending to murder you all in your beds and put their intention to do so on the bathroom mirror for you to find prior to the deed taking place?

Your daughter and husband are right, you totally over-reacted and you owe your daughter and her friend an apology for doing so.

The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before I imagine the friend was shocked by seeing a grown adult having such an extreme reaction to a silly prank, especially as her own mother had had the same prank played on her and reacted appropriately.

Or Jack Nicholson will come through it with an axe?

What on earth?!? 🤣

I’m not a fan of horror much, although The Shining is a masterpiece. The book not the film.
I think posters are having trouble understanding your thought process op. Someone has broken in, found a lipstick, written murder in creepy writing, and left. Or kids on a sleepover playing a prank? Mmm which one would be more likely?
If you were scared, then realised compose yourself before crying in front of dd and her friend surely.

You sound like a big baby.

Well, of course the writing was ‘awful’. My 13 year old’s homework looks like epileptic spiders have attacked his copies. I can only imagine what 12 year olds writing on a mirror in lipstick would look like.

I'm sure the 12 year old friend will get over it 🤣 Yes OP crying was a bit OTT, but if I was friends mum and my daughter went round to someone else house who had been kind enough to invite her and she did something like that I would asking her to apologise to directly to OP or she wouldn't be going to another sleepover at anyone's as I would think she wasn't mature enough to know how to behave as a guest.

Pranks are only funny if everyone involved finds them funny.

Your reaction seems very OTT. Are you dealing with some past trauma that made react in such a strong way? I'm sure I'd jump out of my skin but I think I'd be able to laugh about it too.

Mmm.. yes you have over reacted, yes your DH needs to have your back..

And for your child, I'd have a big chat about playing pranks and how you may not get the outcome you hoped for, you might genuinely upset someone, its not a joke if the other person doesn't find it funny - she can consider being embarrassed about her Mum in front of her friend and potentially kids at school the consequences of her actions!

There was a racehorse called 'Potoooooooo', pronounced 'Potato'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potoooooooo

Yep. Not saying its right but she probably will

If it was your lipstick and cost more than £10 I think a medium stern bollocking was warranted. If it was a discontinued lipstick given to you by a now deceased friend as it symbolised your platonic passion, then crying would be in order. Otherwise, obviously YABU.

And running to MN, after running to her DH, still in search of someone who’ll say she was in the right!
Gordon Bennett, you do wonder sometimes.

And then, rather than pausing and considering a good course of action, like talking to your daughter quietly later on, alone, you decided to embarrassed her.

I don't know what's worse tbh, embarrassing her like that or the histrionics.

If I thought there was an intruder, I'd have run straight into the girls so don't be so dramatic. It took you all of two seconds to realise nit was a childish prank and yet you still cried to some teenagers.

"Never seen an adult show emotion before" sounds like you emote far too often. Manipulation or genuinely just hysterical?

This can't be real surely? No-one CRIES in terror because someone wrote "murder" in wobbly writing with lipstick on a mirror!! 😂

So you saw "MURDER" written badly in lipstick on the bathroom mirror (probably in the style of a child?) and your first thought was an intruder had slipped in and written it? Riight? So crying in fear you went into your 12 yo's bedroom? Presumably you went to protect them from the intruder? Mmm

Really?

It was a prank, that they have done to an adult before, who found it funny.

They are 12. Ok, it backfired but no need to storm in crying over it...thats so embarrassing for a 12 year old.

A better reaction would he to have a chat with dd today,im private over pranks backfiring and can be seen as cruel

And dh doesn't need to always stick up for his wife if he thinks she is in the wrong. Thats not undermining , its having a different opinion

I'm sorry OP, you're clearly a sensitive soul and you're getting a lot of grief on here. I think it's totally fine for kids to see that adults have emotions, but silly writing on a mirror does sound like a very odd thing to cry about in front of your DD's friend.

I think it's worth trying really hard not to embarrass kids in front of their friends during the teenage years, so I agree with PPs that it would help if you toughen up a bit to get through the next few years of parenting.

You are being utterly strange! The fact you can't even write the word murder on this thread suggests you have mental health issues. Most normal people would have have raised an eyebrow at most and told them to clean it off!

If she writes 'murder' her phone will explode.

😂