DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

You do sound like a bit of a wet lettuce, OP.

maybe chill out and have a couple of glasses of wine tonight, eh?
@FoxPj

I understand your initial reaction; whether or not it was obviously the children/a prank or could have been an intruder depends a lot on where you live and how secure your house is (I don't mean just secure from break-ins, but also people in and out because that of course introduces unknown elements). Now that you know it was the girls, I'd try to stay calm and let them know why you were initially so upset. Don't punish them, if you believe it was an innocent but misguided prank, but let them know why it was upsetting to you and make sure they understand not to do this in the future, in anyone's house. Not sure about your husband - if you think he was genuinely trying to give you some perspective, then OK - but if he is still belittling you for your reaction and your fear then he may be an arsehole not completely understanding your perspective.

For those who think this might be fake I do genuinely know people like this.

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friend's house overnight. It was mother's day the next day and it transpired my friend and her brother hadn't got their mum a card or present despite their mum being very overly excited all of the previous day, coming into her bedroom constantly and saying "ooooh it's mother's day tomorrow!... I will just be putting my feet up all day tomorrow because it's MOTHER'S DAY! Etc" which I thought was a bit OTT tbh.

Anyway I felt bad for her but when she found out she screamed at them in the living room "YOU HAVEN'T GOT ME ANYTHING?!" while I was there too, then burst into tears in a dramatic fashion and wailed all the way up the stairs and spent the next 20 mins howling and wailing like a banshee in her bedroom so loudly presumably the whole street could hear. After that my friend's dad awkwardly apologised to me and offered to take me home.

Some people's DMs are nuts so I don't think this thread is a wind up.

i have complex PTSD due to family members being murdered and even I would have seen the funny side to this prank and wouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that some nut job was in the house. Kindly OP, I think you need to seek help for your nervous disposition.

Surely if you had that strong reaction would have been to get dh and deal with it privately

Exactly. I had the impression the op wanted to make her DD feel guilty. That and this talk of being 'hurt' by 12 year olds. I don't know, it's really off behaviour from a parent. Feel bad for the DD.

I can be a dick sometimes but I tend to think about how something would make my kids feel / how it affects them before I react. Its not hard to keep a grip of yourself if you choose to.

Honestly @FoxPj , I don't know why you had such an extreme reaction, but part of parenting is learning to gather yourself sometimes before launching at the children.
This is really quite embarrassing for you and your daughter.

If it was from the Shining then it was REDRUM backwards. If you didn’t know it was from a horror film then why was your immediate response one of “terror”. Surely you’d think, there are two 12 year olds in the house who are messing about. This cannot be real.

My mum was nicknamed misery by me and my brother when I was a teenager lol

Was it an expensive mirror ?
Did it come off ?
What made you cry ?

So just say you really did think there was an intruder in the house, your first reaction is to go into the children’s room and cry?

Quite. Why would you do that?

You say you immediately knew it was not real ...so why did you feel the need to cry in front of your daughter and her friend?

I know this is always trotted out on MN, but OP your reaction is so far from normal, I think you need to seek some help.

You owe your daughter a massive apology.

I would have thought of a prank as a way to get them back!

I know you are very much considering your feelings in this situation but have you paused to recognise the feelings of others involved? They clearly didn't realise you'd react the way you did but you're an adult so you did know how your reaction would be received. You need to be the adult, Op.

I’m sorry you were frightened. But why would you think there was a stranger in the house instead of assuming it was the child who lives there?

So just say you really did think there was an intruder in the house, your first reaction is to go into the children’s room and cry? That’s not very adult is it? What were they going to do about it? Did you have a few drinks? Did you watch something spooky recently that made you jumpy? Do you get out much?

Imagine how the friend must have felt having an adult displaying that kind of emotion.
She probably felt mortified by the reaction to what she thought was a harmless prank.

Terror?

Get a grip, honestly.

I don't like horror either but if I saw this on my mirror and had kids in the house I would assume they had done it not that Jack Nicholson was about to chase me with a machete.

I think you need therapy if you react like this to things.

Oh, You're reaction was seriously OTT.

For context, if the OP had come back from holiday where you KNOW the house has been empty and locked up and finds writing on the bathroom mirror when she gets home, then of course it would be worrying, but not when you're home with two 12 year old giggling girls on a sleepover...

I agree. I can't imagine anyone but Jack Nicholson doing this role.

Although Homer Simpson did a fairly good rendition! 😆

That is very embarrassing for your dd. Her friend won't want to come over any time soon nor will anyone else. Your husband is right not to back you up. This is a 'you' issue and not something to put on others.

“Terror” ffs 🤣🤣🤣. A kids writing IN LIPSTICK on a mirror. Better watch out op, the nightmare before Christmas and all sorts of goulish terrorising movies will be on air soon. Take cover.